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Old 07-20-2013, 08:03 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Smile Hey! You guys have been good to me and yahoo isn't working!

Hey guys! I am sorry once again, this is not about German Shepherds... BUT it is indeed about a shepherd... it counts... right? Well, I wanted to post on yahoo, and not here because it involves an australian shepherd, but yahoo answers wasn't working so I figured: Why not come here, where everyone is super nice and supportive! I am just going to copy and paste what I was going to say on yahoo. P.S. there may be many punctual errors, and what not. When I write... I don't stop and tend to get carried away. Well here is the question:

"Hey guys! I was debating asking this because I know the people of yahoo can be VERY harsh, but I need some help. Five months ago my dad told me we could talk about fostering a dog, and I really wanted to. I found a rescue (for german shepherds), and I was ready. I even bought food and water bowls, collar, leash, and toys on amazon with my own money. But the talk continued to get delayed. Then comes the month of July... five months later, and we finally talk. We went back and fourth, we talked in person, over email, and IM, and it lasted a few days. Now, my dad was totally fine with fostering another dog, and didn't mind AT ALL, but he said that the german shepherd would live outside and outside only. Now, I have coyotes and mountain lions in my area, and our backyard isn't fully fenced in, so I said inside. He fought me and I finally gave up. Then I found an Australian Shepherd, which is smaller, and a lot like a German Shepherd. I talked to my dad and he said the dog can come inside. I was so happy, but he told me I would need to convince my mom. Now she just does not like animals. Only because she wants our house to be pretty and spotless. I have been wanting a german shepherd for years and decided it would be best to foster first to show my responsibility. So, I got tons of information on Australian Shepherd then made A WEBSITE and sent my dad the link and he sent it to my dad. My dad was impressed and said he was on board but my mom wasn't, and he said he wouldn't help me talk to her. So I was on my own. Now, going back to the german shepherd, I sent my mom an email asking if HYPOTHETICALLY, I said hypothetically five times, if we got a german shepherd would it be inside or out. I wanted to know her opinion so I could tell my dad. She came back saying: Well it won't happen, so why should I answer that. Now, I love german shepherds and I am planning on getting one when I am 18, but I know it won't work out now, so I am focusing on Aussie (australian shepherds). I once sent her an email asking if we could foster etc. and she said no. I am just so confused and angry. I will do ANYTHING just to get a dog that is mine. Someone I can talk to and hang out with when my family is ganging up on me or something. So, how can I convince my mom to let me foster a dog? It is Summer so I can't bring my grades up or anything. And please don't say," She is your mom, listen to her". I get it, but she is being unreasonable, and my dad is on board. So if you have any advice please help. I really wanted a german shepherd and lost my fight, but I will not give up on an Australian Shepherd. Please, SOS. P.S. please don't be mean or anything. Also, I have 2 dogs already, one is barely hanging on to life the other one is a little puppy cockapoo. Both very sweet and mellow. I want another dog because both of those dogs have a relationship with my other family members, like they are attached to them and i have always wanted a dog that is mine. Also, I LOOOVE animals. Like so much! Kay thanks for reading. Please help"

Anything is appreciated!
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Old 07-20-2013, 08:31 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Just hypothetically-what are you going to do if the dog you get for some reason likes your mom or dad better? There is no guarantee who a dog will bond with or how affectionate the dog will be. It seems like your family is not on board totally and it sounds as if you live there so you have to take that into consideration. What are you going to do with the dog all day while you are in school? If the family doesn't want to take part how will you manage that? What if the dog gets sick-do you have money set aside for the vet? Like, a lot?

I am 4...err... 29 :-) and only work part time and this is my first dog...the others were my parents dogs. Even now it is sometimes hard to manage the dog around my schedule. It is a lot of work making sure they get the correct care and such. My boy was sick the last few days and I had to run him out to go potty a few times and hour for 3 days...day and night. Will your family help in that sort of situation? If not how will you manage? I had to call off of work and stay with him.

Not trying to be mean, just pointing out some realities. Honestly if you just want a companion animal there are many that are much easier to take care of and just as fulfilling. A dog is a lot of work! What about volunteering at a shelter or a humane society? Good luck.
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Old 07-20-2013, 08:56 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Just hypothetically-what are you going to do if the dog you get for some reason likes your mom or dad better? There is no guarantee who a dog will bond with or how affectionate the dog will be. It seems like your family is not on board totally and it sounds as if you live there so you have to take that into consideration. What are you going to do with the dog all day while you are in school? If the family doesn't want to take part how will you manage that? What if the dog gets sick-do you have money set aside for the vet? Like, a lot?

I am 4...err... 29 :-) and only work part time and this is my first dog...the others were my parents dogs. Even now it is sometimes hard to manage the dog around my schedule. It is a lot of work making sure they get the correct care and such. My boy was sick the last few days and I had to run him out to go potty a few times and hour for 3 days...day and night. Will your family help in that sort of situation? If not how will you manage? I had to call off of work and stay with him.

Not trying to be mean, just pointing out some realities. Honestly if you just want a companion animal there are many that are much easier to take care of and just as fulfilling. A dog is a lot of work! What about volunteering at a shelter or a humane society? Good luck.

Well, a few thing... I can't volunteer anywhere because the ones in my area won't allow people to help that are under 18. Also, EVERYONE is okay with it, except my mom.
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Old 07-20-2013, 09:07 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Okay with it and willing to help are two different things. What about the other questions I asked? What if the dog doesn't bond with you? What if it gets sick? Who will care for it while you are at school? An animal is a time consuming and sometimes money consuming commitment-even a foster. As I said...being ok with it and being willing to help share the load are different. Are you sure places will allow a 17yo to foster an animal? Do your parents know what will be involved in that because they are the ones that will likely have to sign an agreement.

Again it sounds like you are looking for a companion and have in your head how it will be with the dog. Reality is often very different. Some dogs don't cuddle, don't like to be petted all that much and like sleeping in the corner of the room. Just keep your expectations realistic is all I am saying and of course since you say you love all animals...what about an easier to care for animal? There are lots out there. Rats make awesome pets! :-)
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Old 07-20-2013, 09:27 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Well, I am not sure how old you are.........but why don't you list your mother's reasons for objecting and what it is that you will do to overcome that. Having raised two teens, I can think of many. The deal I made with my younger daughter was that I would buy her any dog she wanted after she graduated from college. Well that was several years ago and SHE is not ready because she is going to graduate school and wants to wait until she is settled.....

--who will pay the bills?
--who will do the extra cleaning? Big double coated dog brings a lot of dirt and dog hair into the house. big time
--what will happen if when you go to college? You can't take a dog most places and it may not be very convenient to any social life.
--teens are notorious for loosing interest-what then?
--What if the dogs don't get along. Even if they do a big dog can playfully injure a smaller dog
--with a dog I assume is near the end of its life (one of the two already in your house) maybe bringing in another dog right now is not so good.
--what have you done to bond with the other dogs in the house?
--how responsible are you in general with doing your chores, etc.?

I wanted a horse sooooo bad the whole time I was growing up that it hurt and as a teen I mucked out stalls in exchange for riding privileges but then I grew up and decided financially, well. Great idea but I was not in love with it enough to make it work. Dogs well, yes. But it was something I really really really wanted and my attitudes changed over time. You have plenty of time to get a GSD when you are on your own. You may just have to let it go and wait.
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Old 07-20-2013, 09:33 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by jocoyn View Post
Well, I am not sure how old you are.........but why don't you list your mother's reasons for objecting and what it is that you will do to overcome that. Having raised two teens, I can think of many. The deal I made with my younger daughter was that I would buy her any dog she wanted after she graduated from college. Well that was several years ago and SHE is not ready because she is going to graduate school and wants to wait until she is settled.....

--who will pay the bills?
--who will do the extra cleaning? Big double coated dog brings a lot of dirt and dog hair into the house. big time
--what will happen if when you go to college? You can't take a dog most places and it may not be very convenient to any social life.
--teens are notorious for loosing interest-what then?
--What if the dogs don't get along. Even if they do a big dog can playfully injure a smaller dog
--with a dog I assume is near the end of its life (one of the two already in your house) maybe bringing in another dog right now is not so good.
--what have you done to bond with the other dogs in the house?
--how responsible are you in general with doing your chores, etc.?

I wanted a horse sooooo bad the whole time I was growing up that it hurt and as a teen I mucked out stalls in exchange for riding privileges but then I grew up and decided financially, well. Great idea but I was not in love with it enough to make it work. Dogs well, yes. But it was something I really really really wanted and my attitudes changed over time. You have plenty of time to get a GSD when you are on your own. You may just have to let it go and wait.
I want to foster. Not adopt
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Old 07-20-2013, 09:37 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Fostering can be relatively long some times. What do you think fostering includes and doesn't include?


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Old 07-20-2013, 10:02 PM   #8 (permalink)
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OP, you sound like a great kid who is going to grow up to be a wonderful dog owner. You have a lot to look forward to.

Here is the thing, though. You are going to have a difficult time finding a rescue or shelter that will allow you to foster a dog for them if you don't have a fully fenced back yard and you plan on keeping the dog outdoors.

Many dogs that come into rescues and shelters are stressed. They need to be in a home where they can relax a little and feel safe. Some are still mourning the homes they lost and some need help learning how to be a house dog. The last thing a rescue or shelter wants is to send a dog to a foster home where they will be kept out in a kennel run or (worse yet) kept tied up. Remember, these organizations want what is best for the dog, and if your Mom says, "Not in the house" and you don't have a fully fenced yard? This just isn't going to work.

But the biggest stumbling block is the fact that the adults in your life are just not that interested in doing this. And in your Mom's case, is actively opposed to it. Rescues and shelters look for foster homes where everyone in the home is committed to having the foster. Everyone. Not just one or two members of a family. Everyone.

I know how hard it can be to want something so badly, but to not be able to get it for yourself because of your age. Believe me when I tell you that your time will come. I swear it! But that time isn't now.

No matter how much energy you put into getting your Mom to agree to this, you also have to find a shelter or rescue that will allow you to foster for them despite not having fully committed adults on board, despite not having a fully fenced yard and despite not being able to offer the foster dog a place in the house. Have you discussed with any shelter or rescue what they require of their foster homes yet? Or were you working on your parents first, and then planning on finding an organization to foster for once you had their okay? There is so much more to fostering than just showing up and asking for a foster dog. Many organizations have applications and will want to do home visit and check your references before giving you a dog to foster. It can be just as involved a process as adopting from the organization. And you would want to go with an established group.

Since you had the money to purchase items for a potential foster dog, maybe you could purchase some obedience lessons for you and the Cockapoo? Training is a wonderful way to bond! And maybe once you get a little older you could start to volunteer at a local shelter?
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Old 07-20-2013, 11:30 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Why not see if you can walk people's dogs for them or take care of people's cats when they're out of town? That way you get to spend time with dogs and you don't have to worry about getting your parents' approval.

Also, there may be other ways you can volunteer other than fostering--contact the rescue and ask.
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Old 07-20-2013, 11:35 PM   #10 (permalink)
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sorry, moms house, moms rules. sorry no way to sugar coat this.
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