A vent for me and the Boos (dogs). How do you do balance?
I havent been on much as alot is happening and today I woke up really late and still had the three dogs to rotate. Last week due to a community tragedy I had to spend my Sunday night from 7;00pm to 10:30 at work. I'm a type one diabetic and as I get older I dont do well w/ change to my routine. The girls and Lucky are currently in a state of detente which requires alot of rotation and doling out the most precious commodity "time". Husband is back out in the truck since one truck is still in the shop and the repair bill needs to be made up for. We also are moving ,bigger house ,when fenced it will have two sections so everybody can be outside .I am so excited but at the same time really tired. Im suddenly aware of my age . If you asked the boos Lucky would tell you he needs more ball time ,the girls would tell you put the boy in the basement we need more time. Son is graduating need to get his senior pictures (he chose to forgo the yearbook shot) and I feel incredibly overwhelmed and could use a warm sunny place where no one knows my name. Dont get me wrong I love the girls and unless a home comes up where they would be more happy and have more time while being together they have their furwever home. However I as a dog mom am feeling like Im not moving quick enough. On top of this I developed an ulcer on my foot a week ago . Dr states i need a circulation test.He gave antibiotics and ointment however due to a large scale audit by the state I not only have been working but wearing dress boots, Its healing but walking in shoes irritates and so today I said the Heck w/ this and took the morning off. I at the same time am angry w/ myself for using time that I maybe should have saved. Yep Im definitely overwhelmed.
So here is my question to you how do you balance it all work ,family (I know alot of you care for your parents and others) as well as the very important furrry family?
Sometimes you just have to take a deep breath.....you can only do one thing at a time. I try to prioritize giving the dogs as much as I can even though at times it isn't as much as I'd like. Right now we have so much going on I was really glad we took Sunday off and enjoyed some time together with the dogs.
Even if I don't have a lot of time I always give lots of love, I'm sure that's worth something.
I don't have as much responsibility as some on this board.... I don't have kids, I don't care for parents, or anything like that. But what I CAN say is.... I do have a house to care for, 3 young dogs, my SO, I work to pay a lot of bills, and I train in Schutzhund and Personal protection with two of the three dogs. Soon, I will also be going back to school to finish up some degrees I had started. For our age... we have a lot on our plate.
I will admit, it's very difficult to work everything in and all the dogs needs. I love my dogs to death, but they certainly make my life a lot busier. Because the females don't get along (was expected), we crate and rotate here. So I have to make sure everyone is out the proper amount of time... worked, tired, happy... then go on to the next. Dinner (and breakfast for the pup) takes a good chunk of time at night while I could be cooking for the humans here. Weekends are pretty much dedicated to the dogs. That's when I do a lot of training, trim nails, groom, bathe if needed, clean their room, socialization time, take them hiking or down to the fields for some fun, etc. It does chew up a lot of time that my SO and I could have together. BUT, it's worth it. I love my dogs. They protect my home and us here, they bring love and laughter to our home, and they keep us company through good and bad times.
Mostly what I did to make things a bit easier, is create a system. I have a schedule I follow daily. I rarely change it, and the dogs and I both have things memorized. It works for us and has shortened the time down and allowed me to get everything done. Most I do on my own, but there are things my SO helps me with to shorten the time. For example: When I bike everyone, he'll have the next dog leashed and ready to go... I walk in the house and switch dogs. He gets collars and leashes off and lets them get some water, relax, and then kennel.. next dog... and so on. This has saved me about 1-2hrs.... and the dogs each get more personal time.
That's what worked for us. When we go off the schedule or before when we would just scramble around to get everything done..... it was way too hectic and nothing ever really got done. I was too overwhelmed, and like you... I just wanted to be far away for a bit to just be ME and not worry about everything and everyone else. It's do-able now. Most days go through without any issues. Maybe you can make some sort of system, and learn what steps you can take to shorten everything down... so you have some time to relax?
Just an idea. Hope this helps. If not, just know others have been there too!;)
Thanks Kiya and Tricky Shepherd.I still feel a little overwhelmed but my husband is home after his trailer was damaged while unloading . Happy for support but sad re the expense.I do believe the giving love counts and I remind myself that I am incredibly fortunate that Lucky is as healthy and active as he is for his age.I also have to laugh as the girls crawled all over as we snuggled on their old but still leather couch last night after i watched a movie w/ our son upstairs w/ Lucky getting belly rubs. Im also probably a bit older then alot of forum members and sometimes I want me to be the person I was at 30. Tricky Shepherd you and your husband sound like you are both incredibly busy but have a great partnership. Kiya I think the hugs and affectation do count. Tell you respective packs they are lucky to have such wise pack leaders.
I keep a strict schedule, it helps me focus on one thing at a time. Also I find being with the dogs actually helps me relax and destress from the day so that helps. I take long walks to clear my mind and take them with me, we both enjoy the exercise
Also Saturday is MY day. We sleep in and I clean the house, do laundry, buy groceries, etc and do the minimum with the dogs. They follow me around the house and seem to understand the little attention. Since every other day is focused on them I figure I deserve the break ;) lol
I am currently going through a move and my dog is tugging on me LARGE, no time to write this so w/o going into detail as I have to go out the door for a 1 hr. walk...
...the foot thing - try castor oil packs - soak a cloth/fabric and apply to the ulcer - will draw crud inside to surface. wrap the foot to secure poultice, apply a heating pad or something too:)...massage into your feet and lymph nodes (check online where) supposed to help w/lymph drainage and improve circulation - also good for arthritic joints when heat pad is applied over poultice which is then wrap in plastic
Another suggestion is to soak in epsom salt. I too am a diabetic and developed a boil or something. I had to soak in epsom salt twice a day. Then work the pus out immediately after the soak.
I have no clue on how to get balance. I do taxes and this is tax season, so I am busy on top of my regular job. Plus the trainer said I need to work Fiona more, because I am spoiling her. So I suppose the 2 - 3 hours I spend a day here is going to get cut.
A vent for me and the Boos (dogs). How do you do balance?
I don't have anywhere near as much on my plate as you do, basically my career and my pack... But when I have to go out on a new project, it's always a 7 day workweek, with minimum 15 hour days... And we are all four (me and a 3-dog pack) living out of a hotel for months at a time.
I reassure myself by remembering that it's all temporary. I look back over my life and identify easier times, harder times, and then I sit down and ask myself how I will choose to face today's stress: those days when I feel so overwhelmed I could cry, I remind myself of all the things I am grateful for.
I mean, we might spend 6 months out of a year away from home in a cramped hotel room where they languish until I get home. But you know what, they get fresh meat very day, we exercise every day even when it's not nearly enough, and nobody is starving, in a shelter, being overbred in deplorable conditions...what we have might not always be ideal, but all of our situations are temporary and I am always looking forward to the next peaceful phase.
I have learned that no amount of planning, scheduling, goal setting, nor beating myself up will provide what we need.
Only gratitude. If you spend ten minutes tonight sitting with your dogs and counting your blessings, I bet you will feel a whole lot better.
We will keep you in our thoughts and prayers :)
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I completely feel your pain. I sometimes find myself exhausted to the point that I feel like I'm going to collapse.
Average day for me:
Up at 5:30.
Start breakfast, iron clothes while breakfast is cooking.
Take dogs out, feed chickens and barn cats (and until last week, the horse)
Feed dogs and husband.
6:30, wake kids.
Help little one get dressed, teeth brushed.
Get myself showered and dressed.
Take dogs back out.
Put breakfast dishes in the sink. Put dogs up.
7:20, rush out the door.
Drop oldest daughter off first, then drop off youngest daughter.
Begin work at 8:00, take lunch at 12, drive back home, take the dogs on a mile walk, load the breakfast dishes into the dishwasher, back to work by 1:00, usually eating a sandwich on the way.
Work til 5:00, pick up the little one, go home, start supper, take the dogs out, eat supper, another walk for the dogs, depending on what day it is the schedule from this point varies....Mondays we have Scouts for the oldest daughter from 6-8. Tuesday is Church rehearsal from 6-9. Wednesday the FIL comes over for supper. Thursday is Obedience Class from 7:30-8:30, Friday is Church from 6-8:30. Saturday is my day to catch up on everything that didn't get done during the week, and Sunday we're at Church from 8:30 to 1:00.
Then there's laundry, chores, baths for the kids, homework, housework, and if I'm lucky, I'm finally ready for bed by 10:30.
By Sunday afternoon I'm ready to fall over... so when I come in from Church, I usually lay down for a much needed and well earned nap. Of course I have to threaten the children with horror stories of work camps and torture if they wake me up.... :blush:
At some point I think you have to take a step back and look at what's best for you, the family and really assess how much you can do.
I've had to cut back. Sold my horse, didn't have time to ride. Let go of my Bible Study group. Had to trim softball from the oldest daughter.... I just couldn't do it all, and I felt like I was failing. It was terrible. Then when my father had a stroke, I physically worked myself sick. It took my doctor telling me enough is enough, before I'd really accept that I was stretched too far.
I still have a busy schedule. But now, I'm not over-booked and frazzled. We have a schedule and it works for us. We micro-manage our time and stay organized and it works out.
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