Help with step parents philosophy about dogs
 

My stepparents feel like they are all knowing about dogs. What they are doing is prefect and what I am doing is wrong and awful. Dogs should run free and only in the house for sleep, no need for a pack. Their dog is just fine is what they tell me. I completely disagree about their dogs coat, condition, or anything else related to their dog being fine or happy. The thing is I wasn't even lecturing them over their dogs. They are lecturing me over mines. Mines are stuck in house all day like being in prison. My dogs are awful since I have to take them on walks with me and I play with them and bring them too places that most dogs never get to see.

I finally had enough of this talk. I don't know if it was the best way to handle it. I told them they knew next to nothing about dogs and that they need to get their facts straight before they talk with me about anything at all related to the subjects of dogs. To call it annoying would have been putting it lightly. I've never had to bite my tongue so much in one evening.

Re: Help with step parents philosophy about dogs
 

I can relate, my boyfriend's two cousins that live with us will yell and scream at me over how I train my dog but when he does something wrong, they don't offer any advice on how to fix it they just tell me to "deal with my dog" but only in a way that THEY approve of. My boyfriend disagrees with some things but he will let me train him how I want. I have to sneak the prong collar out the door for our walks to work on his car chasing because they will call me names and curse at me if they catch me. They just let him out and shut the door even though they know I want him to be supervised in the yard because of what happened to my last dog. I just grin and bear it and don't bring it up if I can help it. They will move out soon. And you can train your dog how you want same goes for your parents even if you don't agree. At least you know you are doing your best for your dog. :)

there are indeed different philosophies. no point in getting upset, just as they will not change your way you will not change their way. give your step parents the respect they deserve and let their lecture go in one ear and out the other.

What facts? Are you of age to be on your own, house and dog? If so , what is wrong??

I would never want to be a young age again, but I wonder what they complain about!, (u might), unless they had to work for eveything :). I am so hard to kids in school when they think they know it all, I give them my work (only half), :)

Different generations believe differently.
My grandfather, raised beagles when I was a child. Imagine twelve dogs in a 20 x 20 wire lot, fed once a day, watered down corn based kibble, and never taken out unless they were going hunting.
He, at the time, had a nice set-up for his dogs. They weren't on chains and they got fed daily....
Would I treat my dogs like that? No. Would he agree with having dogs inside the majority of the time? No.
To his (and my parent's) generation: DOGS ARE DOGS.
To younger generations (say 40 and youngers) dogs are more a part of the family.

Your stepparent won't change their thoughts.... just smile and nod and then when you leave, remind your dog how lucky he is.

I agree. Try not to take it too personally, even when it totally feels that way. It is possible to just acknowledge and be respectful of other people's opinions.

In the end, your dog is your dog :) Enjoy!

I would avoid this discussion at all costs. Neither of you is wrong. There are different ways to treat dogs. Those of us who grew up in the city, aren't used to dogs running around outside/being free to hunt/kill...and we look at dogs almost like humans. Those that grew up in the country, generally with outside dogs, see them more as wild animals capable of protecting their property, hunting, and fending for themselves.

Nothing wrong with either one of those philosophies...in your stepparent's case, I'm surprised they're alright with letting them sleep in the house, most outside dog people don't let them do that either. A former roommate of mine had 2 outdoor dogs (back home) and told me tons of stories of what they would do. Sounded like a great life for a dog to have and they would just sleep out in the barn. You could also tell they knew who their owners were as they would bring them dead animals all the time instead of hiding and eating them themselves.

What was making me really upset was the fact that they were trying to force me to get rid of my dogs. Awhile back they had agreed to babysit the baby for us while we took the dogs to a dog only festival and since I don't want any dogs jumping on my baby I wasn't going to bring her. What does granddad do instead of helping out with the baby? He goes to my car to free the dogs hoping they would run away. I have a good six sense and I picked up on this when he suddenly left the house while we were unpacking the baby and decided to follow him out. Sure enough, he was planning to free my dogs from their fun trip.

This is the main reason why I have to get other babysitters when I do dog related events. And usually, if I'm not working or with the dogs I don't need a babysitter. And even beyond that it makes me not trust them when they choose to go over my head and do this stuff.

Regardless of rather or not I agree with the way they treat their dog I can respect them enough to look the other way and recognize that it could be far worse. Call me wrong if you want to but all I wanted was the same respect. I made me wonder what else he would do without my permission. Up to this point I had been quiet and that did little to improve our relationship. If I didn't have to say anything, like the car experience, I didn't say anything. This quickly amounted to us not saying anything at all to them or wanting to visit them since all they wanted to do was lecture us. My last trip was the first time I called them wrong, and not wrong about what they were doing with their dog, that was my opinion. I called them wrong for saying that stuff about mines and as kind as I could suggested that they do some more research on my ways before making such statements.

The reason behind me making my last trip? My six sense was bugging me again. I felt like he didn't have long to live. I spoke to my step mom alone and she confirmed that too. He doesn't have a time to go but, the time he still has is limited. I wish we could focus on something else besides dogs during our conversations. I'm hoping that by talking back it will allow us to move on to other subjects were we might actually agreed on something.

Family is always the hardest to get along with if there are disagreements. My hubby and I have serious disagreements with his mother about living with and disciplining our dogs. Just let it go. I used to live with her and I wont say she ruined him (yes she did), but she disobeyed me on his feeding regiment, which turned out to make him food agressive and overweight. I even outright told her to stop feeding him, as I would do it so he wouldnt eat with her 5 or 6 other food aggressive dogs and she totally ignored me. She also disobeyed us when we said dont teach him tricks with treats. She never listened, and still disagrees even after we moved out. She is allowed no where near the new dog. That is all there is to it.

LO