I disagree with allowing your dog be an excuse to stop visiting family. Just don't take your dog. Life is too short to let petty arguments wreck relationships. You and she do not raise your dogs the same way, they think it is funny to see a smaller dog bark and growl at a larger dog. I don't want my dog attacking any dog, whether in self-defense or not. I avoid such situations. This is just one of those places like WalMart where the dog doesn't need to go.
It IS their home, and if your dog and her dog no longer play nicely all the time, then respect that, and go without the dog.
Jenna, RN CGC & Babs, CD RA CGC HIC
Heidi, RA CGC
SG3 Odessa, SchH1, Kkl1, AD
Ninja, RN CGC & Milla, RN CGC
Joy, Star Puppy, RN CGC
Dolly CGC & Bear CGC