Would You 'Let' Your Spouse Get A Dog Breed You Didn't Like?

[Freestep]

Originally Posted by DFrost

Personally, the use of the term, "let your spouse" sends all kind of negative messages to me. "Let"; does not indicate a level of partnership that, in my opinion, makes a happy marriage..

In some cases, it does.

For example, would you "let" your spouse commit suicide?

Would you "let" them quit their job and become a drug addict?

Would you "let" them have an affair?

Would you "let" them do anything that puts the marriage/relationship in jeopardy?

Because bringing home a Chow or a Basset Hound is grounds for divorce! At least in my household.

[Kaity]

Noooooopppppeeeeeee absolutely not. He has an APBT up North that somebody else now takes care of (okay.. so 'had'.) now he likes GSDs better anyhow. I can't see him ever wanting a different dog, because he knows he doesn't want to do the work. Plus the dog would have to mingle finely with my bitches. My next dog is going to either be a dark sable male, or a BM in 5+ years from now. He knows this, and is okay with it as long as we have the accommodations for the pup! I do alll the work with the dogs, he just cuddles, picks them up on a daily basis and comments on how he 'hates' the puppy because she's 'dumb' (actually, quite the opposite.) but that one day she will sleep on the bed and be fully integrated into the family.

If he ever wanted a lab,golden,chow,akita,husky,malamute,doberman,rott i,anything in the doodle category or a french bulldog? I'd laugh and bring home a BM before he could say anything .

When we had the litter of pups at work I told him I may or may not be bringing a puppy home in x weeks. 7 1/2 weeks later I told him I'm probably bringing home the dark sable male, my little Rush. Rush got sold to a family home and soooo I picked my crazy little Hype! Now, 4 months later she's starting to settle down in the home and he's starting to see how she will work in the home instead of just crate-out-train-walk-crate.

[Kaity]

Originally Posted by Kaity

Noooooopppppeeeeeee absolutely not. He has an APBT up North that somebody else now takes care of (okay.. so 'had'.) now he likes GSDs better anyhow. I can't see him ever wanting a different dog, because he knows he doesn't want to do the work. Plus the dog would have to mingle finely with my bitches. My next dog is going to either be a dark sable male, or a BM in 5+ years from now. He knows this, and is okay with it as long as we have the accommodations for the pup! I do alll the work with the dogs, he just cuddles, picks them up on a daily basis and comments on how he 'hates' the puppy because she's 'dumb' (actually, quite the opposite.) but that one day she will sleep on the bed and be fully integrated into the family.

If he ever wanted a lab,golden,chow,akita,husky,malamute,doberman,rott i,anything in the doodle category or a french bulldog? I'd laugh and bring home a BM before he could say anything .

When we had the litter of pups at work I told him I may or may not be bringing a puppy home in x weeks. 7 1/2 weeks later I told him I'm probably bringing home the dark sable male, my little Rush. Rush got sold to a family home and soooo I picked my crazy little Hype! Now, 4 months later she's starting to settle down in the home and he's starting to see how she will work in the home instead of just crate-out-train-walk-crate.

I always discuss things with him. In getting the 2nd dog, if he didn't like it he could leave and live somewhere else. We discuss what pets would be cool to have like a snake but don't want to put the work in.

[selzer]

Originally Posted by Freestep

In some cases, it does.

For example, would you "let" your spouse commit suicide?

Would you "let" them quit their job and become a drug addict?

Would you "let" them have an affair?

Would you "let" them do anything that puts the marriage/relationship in jeopardy?

Because bringing home a Chow or a Basset Hound is grounds for divorce! At least in my household.

You might be able to stop your spouse from committing suicide, but many people cannot, and that is not anything on them.

I do not know how you would stop a spouse from quitting their job or becoming a drug addict, I suppose if that is what is happening, you can try to manipulating them by threatening them with leaving if they do not seek help, or sign themselves into treatment. For all of that, success really depends on how much the addict wants to change, and not how much those that love the addict wants them to change.

I suppose some people might not mind an open marriage where both sides can have affairs. That is really weird and dangerous, but that would be the only way you could let them or not let them. I think most of us would not let them have an affair, but some will anyway, and then it is really about how much you are willing to take. You might not let them have an affair, but you might let them off, and not break up the marriage over it. I think if two people agree to be true to each other, then it isn't about letting the other have an affair, that isn't a question.

"Would you "let" them do anything that puts the marriage/relationship in jeopardy?"
I think if you approach the marriage this way, you are in danger of being so controlling that you will put the relationship/marriage in jeopardy.

I think that being partners, being in a relationship, being married means making major decisions together, and getting a dog is a major decision. I think that it is better for the spouse who truly cannot abide a particular dog to put their foot down before it comes home. It will be easier in the long run. If it is always only about 1/2 of the equation, the relationship is no where near equal. Some people are ok with staying in a relationship that isn't equal.

I make all my decisions with respect to my four-footed dependents. When you have kids, decisions have to be made with respect to them. And when you have a serious relationship, decisions have to be made with respect to and ideally together with them.