"Partial custody" of dog. Am I being ridiculous? (non-GSD) - German Shepherd Dog Forums

Increase font size: 0, 10, 25, 50%

GermanShepherds.com is the premier German Shepherd Forum on the internet. Registered Users do not see the above ads.
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 11-14-2012, 06:22 PM   #1 (permalink)
Member
 
Kwolf94's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Marietta, GA
Posts: 77
Default "Partial custody" of dog. Am I being ridiculous? (non-GSD)

I'm sure the majority of you don't know this, but my sheltie Ellie isn't exactly my dog, although I consider her to be. She technically belongs to my step-dad, as he bought her and her AKC papers are in his name. I have had several talks with him about letting me have her to no avail.

The thing is, ever since we got her at 2 months the care and training of that dog was all me. I leash-trained her, potty trained her, taught her tricks, walked her, etc. She slept with me every night. I was the first person she greeted when we got home. I took her practically everywhere I could. She bonded with me the closest. We were an inseparable duo, and then when I got Schatzi, we became a trio.

This past summer Schatzi and I moved in with my Dad and his boxer, because I was starting college and our schedules worked in favor of the dogs so they are never home alone for long. Of course, I couldnít bring Ellie. I threatened that if they didn't take proper care of her I would take them to court (I have trust issues when it comes to how my animal are taken care of). They said I was just being melodramatic, but I was serious. Don't get me wrong, my family have had their fair share of pets and aren't incompetent in their care. I'm just a little obsessive over it. I guess it is foolish to start a custody war with my own family over a dog, but Ellie is more than just a dog to me. Cheezy, I know.

About the whole "partial custody" thing:
Even my step-dad recognizes our bond, which is why I get to keep her every now and then. My brother and sister come visit and stay with me and my dad every few weeks or so, and when they come, Ellie comes. I also keep her when my family goes out of town. Well, this is great, and I love the time I get to spend with her and Schatzi as a complete "pack". The girls freak out when they see each other, running around and giving one another kisses. Ellie is my shadow when she is with meÖ she never leaves my side.

I guess I should be grateful that she is allowed to stay with me on occasion, but I feel like itís not enough. Should I just let it go and accept the fact that she isn't my dog? I really donít want to start drama in my family. And I will admit that my sister has taken good care of her, most likely due to me breathing down her neck about it.

Maybe I am being too melodramatic about this. I donít know. Sorry for the long rant, I was just wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation and/or have words of advice.
__________________
~Taylor~
Schatzi- Patterned Sable GSD ~12/15/11
Ellie- Sable and White Sheltie ~9/8/09

R.I.P
Mocha- Tortoiseshell calico

http://kaohzandkumatz.yolasite.com/
Kwolf94 is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 11-14-2012, 06:35 PM   #2 (permalink)
Elite Member
 
PatchonGSD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,514
Default

What exactly are you afraid will happen to her??
__________________
Balen Patchon Adopted 8-28-12

http://www.dogster.com/dogs/1275860

Failure *is* success, if you learn from it.
PatchonGSD is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-14-2012, 06:38 PM   #3 (permalink)
New Member
 
Athena's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Michigan
Posts: 24
Send a message via Yahoo to Athena
Default

I totally understand your situation and concerns, and the want of Ellie. I'd feel the same way. It's my opinion, however, and sadly, there really isn't much you can do. It sounds as if they are taking proper care of her and she isn't being neglected or abused, so you can't involve animal control. The papers ARE in your step-dad's name so you can't do anything legally as far as I'm concerned. The only thing you could probably honestly do is offer to buy her, as it sounds like you had a talk (or many) with him and he still won't budge. Maybe he feels the same about her that you do, even though you were the one doing all of the work with her? My best opinion/thought, is to just cherish the time you have with Ellie and maybe offer to buy her, and if that doesn't work, just accept it and see her as much as you can. It's tough, I'm sure. But, at least she's being taken care of and you still get to see her.
__________________
Megan


http://youravon.com/mzuellig
Athena is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-14-2012, 06:40 PM   #4 (permalink)
Crowned Member
 
selzer's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Denmark, Ohio
Posts: 25,450
Default

The dog is not yours. The dog belongs to your step-dad. He will not give you the dog. I guess he would not be open to selling you the dog?

I think that sometimes it is best, for everyone's sake, to accept the situation. She isn't your dog. While you bonded with the dog and trained the dog, you moved out and now the dog's care falls on someone else.

Someday when you are finished with school, you will move into your own place and juggle your own dogs with your job and social life. Having a dog makes it that much harder to find a place to live that is decent and affordable. Having two dogs will be that much harder.

Right now, while you are still in school is not the time to be burdened with two dogs. Maybe by not allowing you to have the dog, your step dad is doing something that is actually kind. Maybe. And just because you care about the dog, doesn't mean your other siblings and he does not care about the dog. I don't think your siblings would bother to bring the dog if they did not care at all about the dog.
__________________
Jenna, RN CGC & Babs, CD RA CGC HIC
Heidi, RA CGC
SG3 Odessa, SchH1, Kkl1, AD
Ninja, RN CGC & Milla, RN CGC
Joy, Star Puppy, RN CGC
Dolly CGC & Bear CGC
Gretta
Hepzibah
selzer is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-14-2012, 06:47 PM   #5 (permalink)
Member
 
Kwolf94's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Marietta, GA
Posts: 77
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by PatchonGSD View Post
What exactly are you afraid will happen to her??
Well, one thing is that my step-dad's property has no fence, and they have a tendency to leave Ellie alone outside unsupervised. She never leaves the property, but she is VERY territorial (one of her only downsides) which leaves me with the worry of what if she decides to go after and bite someone who pulls into our driveway or one of our neighbors who jogs by? We've had packs of stray dogs and coyotes wander around in that area. I don't want her attacked and hurt. Another thing is her grooming, which is quite tedious. She needs to be brushed once a week, which I know does not get done. Its not exactly so much that I am afraid for her well being, but that I am just worried, and probably more-so than I should be.
__________________
~Taylor~
Schatzi- Patterned Sable GSD ~12/15/11
Ellie- Sable and White Sheltie ~9/8/09

R.I.P
Mocha- Tortoiseshell calico

http://kaohzandkumatz.yolasite.com/
Kwolf94 is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-14-2012, 06:47 PM   #6 (permalink)
Knighted Member
 
fuzzybunny's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Ottawa
Posts: 2,507
Default

I agree with the above posters. She's not your dog so just cherish the time and bond that you have. If you even tried to take them to court, I doubt you'd win and you'd damage your relationship with your family in the process.
__________________
Jazz, Shiloh Shepherd, 5 yrs old, CGC HIC
Bunny, GSD X, 7.5 years old
fuzzybunny is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-14-2012, 06:53 PM   #7 (permalink)
Member
 
Kwolf94's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Marietta, GA
Posts: 77
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by selzer View Post
The dog is not yours. The dog belongs to your step-dad. He will not give you the dog. I guess he would not be open to selling you the dog?

I think that sometimes it is best, for everyone's sake, to accept the situation. She isn't your dog. While you bonded with the dog and trained the dog, you moved out and now the dog's care falls on someone else.

Someday when you are finished with school, you will move into your own place and juggle your own dogs with your job and social life. Having a dog makes it that much harder to find a place to live that is decent and affordable. Having two dogs will be that much harder.

Right now, while you are still in school is not the time to be burdened with two dogs. Maybe by not allowing you to have the dog, your step dad is doing something that is actually kind. Maybe. And just because you care about the dog, doesn't mean your other siblings and he does not care about the dog. I don't think your siblings would bother to bring the dog if they did not care at all about the dog.
I agree. I guess the logical side of my brain is being over-powered by my emotional side.

And yes, they do care very much for her. There is no denying that.
__________________
~Taylor~
Schatzi- Patterned Sable GSD ~12/15/11
Ellie- Sable and White Sheltie ~9/8/09

R.I.P
Mocha- Tortoiseshell calico

http://kaohzandkumatz.yolasite.com/
Kwolf94 is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-14-2012, 07:00 PM   #8 (permalink)
Member
 
Kwolf94's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Marietta, GA
Posts: 77
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Athena View Post
I totally understand your situation and concerns, and the want of Ellie. I'd feel the same way. It's my opinion, however, and sadly, there really isn't much you can do. It sounds as if they are taking proper care of her and she isn't being neglected or abused, so you can't involve animal control. The papers ARE in your step-dad's name so you can't do anything legally as far as I'm concerned. The only thing you could probably honestly do is offer to buy her, as it sounds like you had a talk (or many) with him and he still won't budge. Maybe he feels the same about her that you do, even though you were the one doing all of the work with her? My best opinion/thought, is to just cherish the time you have with Ellie and maybe offer to buy her, and if that doesn't work, just accept it and see her as much as you can. It's tough, I'm sure. But, at least she's being taken care of and you still get to see her.
Yes, I am very glad that I still get to see her. I just miss her a lot :/

And I did offer to buy her, a while before I got Schatzi. That was a no-go.
__________________
~Taylor~
Schatzi- Patterned Sable GSD ~12/15/11
Ellie- Sable and White Sheltie ~9/8/09

R.I.P
Mocha- Tortoiseshell calico

http://kaohzandkumatz.yolasite.com/
Kwolf94 is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-14-2012, 07:01 PM   #9 (permalink)
Member
 
Kwolf94's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Marietta, GA
Posts: 77
Default

Also, I'm not trying to make my step-dad seem like a heartless monster. He's a nice guy. And I know he does have an attachment to Ellie as well, because his dog of 14 years was a sheltie also, and died about a year and a half before we got her.

And thank you for everone's input. It made me realize that I am being a little selfish as much as worrisome. I'm just going to cherish the time I do get with her, she really is such a special dog, and I don't want to risk them not letting me see her at all.
__________________
~Taylor~
Schatzi- Patterned Sable GSD ~12/15/11
Ellie- Sable and White Sheltie ~9/8/09

R.I.P
Mocha- Tortoiseshell calico

http://kaohzandkumatz.yolasite.com/

Last edited by Kwolf94; 11-14-2012 at 07:10 PM.
Kwolf94 is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-14-2012, 07:07 PM   #10 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
RowdyDogs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Albuquerque, NM
Posts: 458
Default

I totally sympathize in a way...but from a realistic standpoint, nothing you mention is even approaching illegal, unless she actually bit someone. I had an unfenced rural home for years that I kept bitey territorial dogs on and never had a problem, even with random people showing up (not condoning that). Coyotes are a fear, but not one that give you legal standing in anywhere I've lived. Mats aren't cool, but they have to be pretty extreme before they'll meet neglect standards.

Your family's dog is your family's dog, and while the care doesn't sound ideal by any means, it also sounds far from abusive or dangerously neglectful. I am sorry for you really, because I've been in your shoes of loving an animal I didn't own but cared for, and didn't like how the owners cared for it...but part of growing up is realizing you can't save them all. It nearly killed me when I was 19 but I learned to walk away when there was nothing more I could do; you may have to as well. There are more animals out there in need than you (or anyone) can possibly save, so focus on doing what you can with a realistic outcome rather than a foolish complaint against family who probably aren't even violating any laws (though again, I don't mean that dismissively, because they aren't taking good care of their dog--just stating what I understand to be facts).

edit to add: Have you tried talking about your concerns with your stepfather? I'm guessing you have, but thought I'd mention it as you never know...
RowdyDogs is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the German Shepherd Dog Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:42 PM.



Powered by vBulletin® Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
SEO by vBSEO 3.3.2
PetGuide.com
Basset Hound Forum Doberman Forum Golden Retriever Forum Beagle Forum
Boxer Forum Dog Forum Pit Bull Forum Poodle Forum
Bulldog Forum Fish Forum Havanese Forum Maltese Forum
Cat Forum German Shepherd Forum Labradoodle Forum Yorkie Forum Hedgehog Forum
Chihuahua Forum Retriever Breeds Cichlid Forum Dart Frog Forum Mice Breeder Forum