"Partial custody" of dog. Am I being ridiculous? (non-GSD)

[Liesje]

She is very cute, lovely condition, obviously well-loved and taken care of by you.

[GSDolch]

Originally Posted by Kwolf94

Thank you to everyone for your feedback. You've made me realize that I am being over dramatic on the issue, and for no reason really. I know now that I have no legal standing on this as well.

A few points I just want to make clear:
I don't feel that my family OWES me Ellie, or anything for that matter. I merely pointed out that I paid for her food and vet bills for a long time to emphasize how much I care for her well-being.
Although what I said about taking them to court was rash and not well thought out, and despite what you all would have done if someone said the same to you, my family loves me and knows I can get ridiculous over this kind of stuff. They never judged me for it. They know how much I care for Ellie almost as much I as do.

Once again, thank you for all your inputs. I am going to count my blessings, and take what I can get, so to speak. Ellie is a very special dog, and thanks to you all, I have been enlightened to the fact that any amount of time I spend with her is to be cherished.

Also, I figured I would provide a pic of the pretty girl all this fuss is over.

She's cute. Growing up is hard and sometimes the emotions fighting with the reality of things isn't ever easy, even for older adults who have been there done that 100 times over. It's not that you are being "judged" or thought bad of, at least I don't think bad about you, but sometimes reality hurts. The only thing that changes over time about that is just learning how to take it better as ya get older. :/

[JeanKBBMMMAAN]

Originally Posted by Kwolf94

Well, one thing is that my step-dad's property has no fence, and they have a tendency to leave Ellie alone outside unsupervised. She never leaves the property, but she is VERY territorial (one of her only downsides) which leaves me with the worry of what if she decides to go after and bite someone who pulls into our driveway or one of our neighbors who jogs by? We've had packs of stray dogs and coyotes wander around in that area. I don't want her attacked and hurt. Another thing is her grooming, which is quite tedious. She needs to be brushed once a week, which I know does not get done. Its not exactly so much that I am afraid for her well being, but that I am just worried, and probably more-so than I should be.

If they aren't in a fancy area that requires certain types of fence, would they be open to splitting the cost of some livestock style fencing?

I would also offer to pay for grooming, if you are able to. Paid directly to the groomer.

[Nickyb]

You obviously realized the right path to take on this one so I wont say anything in regards to it. What I do think you should do is to spend as much time as you'd like with her, I highly doubt your SF would have a problem with you hanging out with her. Just because Ellie isn't technically "your" dog, doesn't mean anything, you can still continue to grow old with each other and give her great joy in life.

[CastleFoote]

When you truly love something it's near impossible not to be dramatic. It shows you have a big heart.


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[GSDElsa]

Wow, I think you should evalute just how nice your step-dad is........you threaten to sue them for ownership of the dog and he STILL lets the dog go visit?? Definitely count your blessings that your family does not judge the melodramatics. However, glad you are taking advice to heart that you are out of line on this matter.

[arycrest]

Just a cautionary story of what can happen in this type of situation, though in this one the shoe was on the other foot. You see, I was on the receiving end of a I WANT YOUR DOG situation.

When I was living at home I purchased an Old English Sheepdog, at that time I paid for her what I would have paid for a week long trip to London, air fare included ($500 back then ... I'd saved the money for over a year for the trip, but wanted the puppy even more). I paid for her care, her vet bills, training, etc. When I was ready to move from home I started looking for apartments that took dogs and found one about a mile or so from my parents house. No, it wasn't fancy, it was small, but big enough for Abbey and me.

When I was ready to move, my parents, especially my mother, started demanding that I give them Abbey!!! We had terrible arguments about it. Finally it boiled down to having to choose between my parents and my dog and I made the wrong decision, I chose my parents. Did they take good care of Abbey, oh yes, they doted on her, no problems there. BUT ...

I hated my mother for stealing my dog, and yes, over 40 years later I still consider it that she had been stolen from me. No, they didn't pay me for her, didn't even offer to pay me, demanded that I sign over her AKC papers which I did. But I hated my mother (in a love/hate type way) for the rest of her life and still hate her, it's the only thing that's ever happened to me where I could not forgive someone.

[huntergreen]

Originally Posted by arycrest

Just a cautionary story of what can happen in this type of situation, though in this one the shoe was on the other foot. You see, I was on the receiving end of a I WANT YOUR DOG situation.

When I was living at home I purchased an Old English Sheepdog, at that time I paid for her what I would have paid for a week long trip to London, air fare included ($500 back then ... I'd saved the money for over a year for the trip, but wanted the puppy even more). I paid for her care, her vet bills, training, etc. When I was ready to move from home I started looking for apartments that took dogs and found one about a mile or so from my parents house. No, it wasn't fancy, it was small, but big enough for Abbey and me.

When I was ready to move, my parents, especially my mother, started demanding that I give them Abbey!!! We had terrible arguments about it. Finally it boiled down to having to choose between my parents and my dog and I made the wrong decision, I chose my parents. Did they take good care of Abbey, oh yes, they doted on her, no problems there. BUT ...

I hated my mother for stealing my dog, and yes, over 40 years later I still consider it that she had been stolen from me. No, they didn't pay me for her, didn't even offer to pay me, demanded that I sign over her AKC papers which I did. But I hated my mother (in a love/hate type way) for the rest of her life and still hate her, it's the only thing that's ever happened to me where I could not forgive someone.

hmmm, i would never take something away from my parents like this, even if it was my dog. must have been quite a bond between your mother and the dog. heck with the money, training , vet bills and whatever else you think you did. this was the perfect time for you to step up as adult and say, "enjoy him mom, thanks for for all you have done for me". imho, you missed the boat on this one.

[GsdLoverr729]

Having been through a similar situation with Motomo, who is now my mother's lab mix... I have to disagree with Hunter. It really can drive a wedge.

I suppose it depends on the people, the dogs, the timing, etc.

[arycrest]

Originally Posted by huntergreen

hmmm, i would never take something away from my parents like this, even if it was my dog. must have been quite a bond between your mother and the dog. heck with the money, training , vet bills and whatever else you think you did. this was the perfect time for you to step up as adult and say, "enjoy him mom, thanks for for all you have done for me". imho, you missed the boat on this one.

Sorry, but I have to disagree.

I was also bonded to my dog too ... as already mentioned, I did everything for her, took her every place I could take her. I was a young adult, old enough to have held a job for over a year ... got good job reviews, paid them over half of my monthly salary for room and board,, saved my money, bought a used car, etc. If they had wanted another dog or puppy I would have saved up and bought one for them! They did for me what parents are expected to do ... clothe me, feed me, educate me so I could make my way into the world ... they should NOT have tried to train me to be a dog thief.