Is This Unreasonable of Me?

[Wolfiesmom]

I own a summer house on the beach. Our married kids ( and the unmarried one) love to come up and spend weeks at a time and weekends here and there. This year, my daughter and her family plan on spending a week with us. They have a 1 year old Yorkiepoo that they want to bring with them. The problem is that her dog hates big dogs. He has attacked Wolfie once already and has tried to attack him again. Wolfie took it like a pro and just ignored the yorkiepoo. However, I won't have Wolfie attacked again, or aggravated either. I told my daughter that if she wants to bring her dog, then she has to get him used to Wolfie and to stop attacking him. Her vet told her that it isn't Wolfie's problem, that her dog has a Napolean complex and it can be corrected with some effort on her part. She has shown no interest in correcting the problem,and still wants to bring her dog to our house. She said she will just leave him in his crate all the time and we can make Wolfie go in the house when she wants to let her dog out. That's not happening! It's Wolfie's house, and I won't have him put away so her dog can have fun in the yard. Plus, what good is it if she has to keep her dog locked up the majority of the time. Also, Wolfie will hear him in his crate, and it will drive him nuts. So, my ultimatum to her was either get her dog to tolerate Wolfie, like the vet told her or don't bring him. Now she is all mad at me and telling me I am being unfair! Am I?

[Cassidy's Mom]

Originally Posted by Wolfiesmom

Am I?

Nope. How would she feel if Wolfie got tired of her dog's crap and attacked back, injuring or even killing it? How would you feel?

It's just not worth the risk - either she can train her dog to get along with others, or she can board it for a week or find a petsitter.

[Wolfiesmom]

Originally Posted by Cassidy's Mom

Nope. How would she feel if Wolfie got tired of her dog's crap and attacked back, injuring or even killing it? How would you feel?

It's just not worth the risk - either she can train her dog to get along with others, or she can board it for a week or find a petsitter.

This is what I was thinking. He attacked Wolfie when Wolfie was 3 months old. Wolfie is now 5 months old and weighs 60 lbs. Her dog only weighs 10 lbs. All it would take was one shake from Wolfie and that would be the end of her dog.

[JKlatsky]

It's kind of hard...but honestly even if she tries to get her yorkiepoo acclimated to Wolfie...we're talking about months of desensitization for it to work. While I understand your point, I also understand the other side as well. If she's willing to crate her dog for the majority of the visit it won't hurt Wolfie to be crated or inside a little bit.

I take my dogs to my MIL's house when we visit and we basically just crate and rotate when we visit. I understand that my dogs are guests in their home and when they are in the house they are all in their crates. And when it's my dogs turn to go outside, MIL's dogs go inside to her bedroom to rest and my dogs get to go outside and run around. We take turns and this keeps everyone safe. MIL has a puggle and little Shiba Inu mix and while they might be OK with my dogs...it's really not fair to put them out with my pack of big dogs. If they decide to defend their home, my dogs can destroy them. MIL understands that if we visit the furkids come too, so she makes accomodations in their schedule so our dogs get what they need.

[Cassidy's Mom]

Yep - he's already much larger and still a puppy so he's going to continue to grow, and aa he matures he may become less tolerant of her dog. It's not fair to keep her dog crated the whole time, and Wolfie shouldn't suffer either, just because she's not willing to train it. Alternatively, she could keep her dog leashed to her at all times. Since Wolfie ignores him it sounds like you only need to worry about keeping him away from Wolfie, not the other way around.

[Jax08]

No. I do not think you are unreasonable. I think that if the small dog continues to attack Wolfie that eventually Wolfie will fight back and we all know who will be on the losing end of that fight. I don't know as I've ever been more furious in my life to come home, find my doberman outside and a little dog belonging to my MIL peeing all over my house. She didn't stay long once I brought Gunner back in and let him loose.

However, is it work alienating your daughter over? I think her solution is workable, though not ideal, and while there can work on the aggression towards Wolfie. I would agree to this on the one condition that she starts to bring her little dog around right now and start desensitizing him with Wolfie. If she refuses to do that then refuse to let her bring him.

[Wolfiesmom]

It's not fair to keep her dog crated the whole time, and Wolfie shouldn't suffer either, just because she's not willing to train it.

This is the problem. She is unwilling to give time to it. Plus her husband and kids think it's a riot that their little dog is so " tough" that he beats on Wolfie. I can just see one of the kids taking the dog out to torment Wolfie. It isn't happening.

[Wolfiesmom]

Originally Posted by Jax08

No. I do not think you are unreasonable. I think that if the small dog continues to attack Wolfie that eventually Wolfie will fight back and we all know who will be on the losing end of that fight. I don't know as I've ever been more furious in my life to come home, find my doberman outside and a little dog belonging to my MIL peeing all over my house. She didn't stay long once I brought Gunner back in and let him loose.

However, is it work alienating your daughter over? I think her solution is workable, though not ideal, and while there can work on the aggression towards Wolfie. I would agree to this on the one condition that she starts to bring her little dog around right now and start desensitizing him with Wolfie. If she refuses to do that then refuse to let her bring him.

I did tell her to do that today and she said oh well, there isn't enough time. There is a month and a half. At least get a start, but she isn't willing.

[Cassidy's Mom]

Originally Posted by Wolfiesmom

I can just see one of the kids taking the dog out to torment Wolfie. It isn't happening.

Ugh, yeah. I didn't realize there were kids involved - it can be hard enough for adults to do everything right, but there's really no way to make sure the kids don't screw it up unless someone is actively watching them every single second, especially if the discipline is lax. And since Dad thinks it's funny too, well.....

[Jax08]

Originally Posted by Wolfiesmom

I did tell her to do that today and she said oh well, there isn't enough time. There is a month and a half. At least get a start, but she isn't willing.

and this

Originally Posted by Wolfiesmom

This is the problem. She is unwilling to give time to it. Plus her husband and kids think it's a riot that their little dog is so " tough" that he beats on Wolfie. I can just see one of the kids taking the dog out to torment Wolfie. It isn't happening.

Then I would tell her to leave the dog home since they think it's so funny to torment your dog and are unwilling to change it. When Wolfie finally kills that little dog, it will be all YOUR fault.

Nope...you are a perfectly reasonable, logical, sane human being.