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Intact male behaviour issue with older spayed female

12K views 22 replies 12 participants last post by  wolfy dog 
#1 ·
I have a 14 month old intact male GSD who lives with a much older spayed female. He gets quite a lot of exercise every day, and I'm starting to work with him on some more formal training. I won't try to pretend he's an angel, but he is friendly, regularly socialises and plays with other dogs without any issues, and generally listens well and is eager to please me and learn.

...that is, until it comes time to let him outside at home.

At the moment, his main goal in life at home is getting out in the garden with the female so he can run his face through her urine, preferably while she's doing it. When I stand up, he rushes to the door, licking his lips and chattering. The instant he thinks they'll be going out, I have a raving lunatic on my hands. All training goes out the window and he is completely unable to concentrate on anything other than getting out to the female.

This has quickly become an issue that creates a lot of stress. It's difficult to get the two of them out the door without him potentially hurting her. He's so obsessed that he very briefly gets somewhat aggressive with her. If I let him out first, he will either turn around and jump on her or else charge her down from across the garden. If I put her out without him, I have to physically restrain him while she goes in and out. It sounds like I'm murdering him: wailing, barking, crying, foaming at the mouth, and so on. He is 85 pounds, and I wouldn't be able to hold him if I weren't a big guy. Once the two of them are actually outside, he's perfectly fine.

I'm not really sure what to do about this. I've tried distracting him when he's outside so I can let her out, but it isn't much help. The obvious solution is that he doesn't get to go out with her, but this is a huge physical challenge. He is somewhat dominant of the female in other aspects of home life like when they meet me when I get home, and what's worked well for that is making him lie down and stay for a time out until he calms down. That option is completely useless here because he is so single minded about getting out to her that his attention span drops to almost nothing, he ignores treats, he doesn't listen to corrections, and so on. Lately I've tried crating him while she goes outside, but I'm afraid he might hurt himself. I've considered leaving him in there for longer periods so he doesn't know when she's actually going out, but it doesn't solve the issue of him constantly being on alert waiting to get out with her.

I asked for some help with this elsewhere and most people simply couldn't get past the fact he isn't neutered. I realise this is a sexual behaviour, and I have no attachment to his testicles whatsoever, but I'm not at all confident it would magically solve anything. I'm quite worried anything I try without getting advice from more knowledgeable dog owners is just reinforcing his bad behaviour and might cause other issues. I would greatly appreciate some help or comments of any kind.
 
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#3 ·
I have the female checked. (by a vet) She may be secreting something in her urine that indicates a problem.

To handle the immediate issue (nutso guy). Why not let her out first to urinate and let him out afterward? If that doesn't quiet it down, I'd plan on keeping seperate outdoor times for each of them. It's a PIA but it will cool the immediate problem until you can have her checked out.
 
#4 ·
.

Lately I've tried crating him while she goes outside, but I'm afraid he might hurt himself. I've considered leaving him in there for longer periods so he doesn't know when she's actually going out, but it doesn't solve the issue of him constantly being on alert waiting to get out with her.
I would start where you do have control, in the crate. Utilize her time outside and his behavior in the crate as a training tool to your advantage.

Google crate games. Make sure you keep it fun and rewarding. Incorporate the 'quiet' command (or what ever word you use) with part of your crate training. Even if he is already crate trained, that is the one area you have where you can exhibit some sort of control. Start from the beginning. Use high value rewards and only use said rewards for the crate. Reward even a moment of quiet. Don't expect him to give you a minute in the beginning.

Give him time. Don't expect perfection quickly. Your dog loses his focus (and his mind) during her potty breaks. It takes time, patience and work on your part to regain that focus.

Once he learns to be quiet in the crate and is solid on being quiet, you can let him out on a leash and repeat the process. Making sure you have control of his focus which is totally different than physcial control of his body!!!
 
#5 ·
To follow up... apologies for the wall of text. You can probably tell I've been thinking about this a lot.

I've been observing him closely over the last few weeks. If anything, it's worse than what I described in my original post, because it's not simply a matter of him behaving this way at the door when he's about to be let out. He is now constantly on alert about the possibility of going outside. He's started to associate it with me simply moving a chair or walking near the back door. I have to make sure I know where he is and potentially call him over before I stand up from a chair because he will excitedly charge down the female from across the house and leap on her and get in her face growling. If I stand between him and the female, I can see he's visibly very anxious, chattering and licking his lips. It doesn't matter if he's fast asleep or he's just been out for an hour-long run. His home life centres around this very specific obsession.

It is very specific. I said earlier he is "somewhat dominant" of the female at home. Some mild examples would be getting in her face around meal times, and trying to stop people from giving her attention when they greet her at the door. None of this has ever been a major issue, and I've been methodically working around it by making him sit and stay until he calms down, or distracting with a toy or game. Most of the time this isn't even needed anymore. Meals and visitors are no problem now. I can give her a treat with him standing right in front her without any issues. He's never displayed any resource guarding with food or toys.

This all changes the instant he thinks he'll be going outside with her. I've been writing this post all day, and it's really difficult to describe. He is obsessed with the actual act of getting in and out the back door, secondary to licking her urine.

Bob_McBob said:
If I let him out first, he will either turn around and jump on her or else charge her down from across the garden. If I put her out without him, I have to physically restrain him while she goes in and out. It sounds like I'm murdering him: wailing, barking, crying, foaming at the mouth, and so on. He is 85 pounds, and I wouldn't be able to hold him if I weren't a big guy. Once the two of them are actually outside, he's perfectly fine.
I've tried taking him outside and playing for a while before she goes out. If he catches a glimpse of the female near the door inside, he loses all interest in the toy and wants to stand near the door waiting to attack her when she comes out. This dog was born for SAR and will spend hours on end fetching balls, 20+ minutes looking for a single ball in the snow, etc. The fact that this obsession tops that drive gives me great pause.

If I have him lie down and stay and hold him, then have someone let the female out, he loses his mind just the same way he does inside, barking and crying trying to get to her to the point I can barely restrain him. 10 seconds later after she's urinated, he has zero interest in her and wants to get to the urine. Once he's had a good lick of that and marked on it, everything is perfectly fine and I could leave the two of them outside indefinitely if I wanted. I can avoid the bloody murder screaming by very slowly introducing her to him at the door as I let her out and correcting him several times when he tries to lunge at her, then making him stay while she pees. I suspect the whole idea of restraining him from attacking her while I let her out is very bad training.

I made an interesting observation a couple days ago: when I physically stopped him from getting to the urine, he frustratedly redirected back to the female and tried to do his dominance leaping/growling routine again. I'm not sure what conclusion to draw from that. It's also worth noting he doesn't display any of this behaviour at the front door when either he or the female enter or exit. It's entirely limited to passing through the back door in anticipation of the female urinating.


Crating

After initially posting this thread, I made some attempts at crating him while the female went outside. He hasn't been crated since he was a puppy, and it wasn't terribly "successful" except that it physically restrained him from her. I should have pursued this avenue rather than trying to calm and restrain him as described above.

I am now reintroducing him to the crate in a more serious way. He is crated every time the female goes out in the garden. When he needs to go outside, I take him out the front door and pass through the side gate. With this method I can actually crate him, let out the female, take him through the side gate, then let the two of them socialize in the garden without even the slightest hint of an issue. When it's time to come in, he goes through the side gate and back into the house, back in the crate, and then I let the female in. It breaks the middle step of passing through the door that most of this behaviour relates to. The back door is completely off limits to him for the time being.

This method is far less stressful than restraining him myself. Sometimes he realizes the female is going out while he is in the crate and does his usual crazy behaviour. Sometimes he doesn't. There isn't a location in the house where he can't hear the door being opened. If I let her out and back in without letting him out, he always realizes she has been out and will follow her around trying to sniff her back end and lick the floor where she's been sitting. So far it hasn't lessened his obsession with the back door, but it's my hope this will diminish as he realizes he will not be going through it anymore. My only fear is that he might start to associate the front door instead.

I would definitely appreciate some guidance on how to proceed from here with the crating and beyond. I am frustrated and sick with worry watching this behaviour with the female snowball so quickly. He's gone from a puppy who shadows me at home and constantly wants to play to this all-consuming singular obsession. It creates enormous stress for everyone (dogs included!). I've been putting in a lot of effort into establishing rules and boundaries and taking training more seriously. He socializes well with other dogs in public, and his leash walking is improving. Even his recall is vastly better than it was a couple months ago; I can call him back when he's thinking of fence charging the two troublemaking unsupervised huskies the people behind us own -- a huge improvement! Then I'm home and tiptoeing on eggshells.

I'll mention neutering again simply because it's almost impossible to discuss the issue elsewhere without it coming up. I have no particular interest in keeping him intact, but I also don't want to have him neutered for no good reason, especially given the somewhat dubious nature of any supposed health or behavioural benefits. I wouldn't be opposed if I thought he would be happier. I feel like he spends all his home time frustrated and anxious because of a behaviour that is clearly sexual in nature at its base. I want what's best for him, and I want him to be happy. I'm willing to do whatever is necessary to work with him to improve this behaviour before it develops into anything more serious. Hopefully I'm on the right path so far.
 
#6 ·
neutering will address this issue
he is obviously becoming ocd and without the testosterone
he may be able to get part of his brain back
my puppy was acting very sexual and aggressive
neutering solved both issues

I have no particular interest in keeping him intact,
well...then what will it hurt to neuter just in case it does indeed fix much or all of the issue?
 
#9 · (Edited)
I agree with a previous post to have your female vet checked as he might smell something unusual about her.
In the meantime, can you make two separate areas for eliminating? Then let him out first so he doesn't have to focus on her fresh urine. Try the NILIF routine for a few weeks.
Once you have checked off all options and he is still going "nuts", then yes, I would neuter him. Neutering is my very last resort but if anything else fails, my sanity and that of the dogs' prevails.
 
#10 ·
The bathroom break arrangement is still working very well. The female often comes over to meet him at the gate, and all he wants to do is make a beeline for her urine, then her rear end, which I discourage with a "leave it" and by physically blocking him. If I take him out before her, I can do training and games without him being distracted. The back door is blocked off, and he can't see her inside, so he isn't sitting there desperately waiting for her. When they're outside together, he isn't particularly interested in her.

Inside, he's on the leash permanently, both for leash training purposes and so I can ensure he's with me at all times. I've been able to discourage some of the triggering behaviour mentioned earlier, so there are far fewer incidents between him and the female. However, he is still set off unpredictably, and his behaviour is pretty disturbing.

For example, today I spilled something on the floor and jumped up to clean it up, forgetting about him lying beside me. The female also stood up; he was on her in an instant, mounting and pinning her to the floor and growling and baring his teeth aggressively. Yesterday the mailman had to deliver a package, and the same thing happened in front of him in the window. The day before, the female snapped at him at the back door when he was sniffing her, and he put her on the ground immediately. I can't separate him from her in these situations until he calms down, and 10 seconds later it's like nothing happened. He's not drawing blood or harming her, but he clearly cannot be allowed to continue doing it.

I have never seen him do this to another dog. I can trace every one of these incidents back to this obsession he's built up around going in and out the back door (stand up --> they're going out, mailman delivers package --> they're going out, standing around back door outside --> they're going in) and redirecting from that. He will happily sleep beside her, let her lick his food bowl out (ZERO resource guarding), and generally interacts with her normally in all other respects (aside from some bossiness). The instant he makes the connection with his "going out" trigger, he's on her.

I have to say I've noticed other worrying changes in his behaviour in the last few months. He spends a lot of time interacting with other dogs off-leash at a large nature area (a more controlled and one on one setting than a traditional dog park). He socializes with other dogs there extremely well ("he's a gentle giant", "the best dog I've ever met", etc.). Recently he hasn't met as many dogs because of the lousy weather, and I've noticed how intensely he focuses on other dogs. He spots them at a distance and gets low to the ground, stalking them as he approaches them, whether or not he's on a leash. I'm no longer taking him there after reading about the potential impact of this kind of socialization. This intense focus on other dogs transfers to barrier aggression when he sees them from the car or behind a fence, and he's generally desperate to meet other dogs when on a leash. Pretty much the exact opposite of aloof with dogs.

I'm not too sure where to go from here. I didn't own him until a few months ago, but I have always been a big part of his life. He never had any proper training until recently. I feel like I've completely failed him in major ways that will impact him for the rest of his life. He is a wonderful, sweet, gentle dog who is loved by everyone who knows him, but has obviously been given far too much freedom and a complete lack of guidance so far. I'm doing some pretty focused training with him, working on loose leash walking and other basics. He is incredibly bright and soaks it up like a sponge. We spend an hour a day playing sit/down/stay/come fetch games, and I'm trying hard to keep him active and mentally stimulated. It was even a big breakthrough to work out he has no interest in treat training, and his focus is entirely on any toy. At home, keeping him on the leash and avoiding the back door completely are slowly breaking down the triggers with the female, but I feel like every time he goes off it sets me back far more than I've come with him. I'm also extremely worried he may become more aggressive with other dogs. I've lived with dog aggressive dogs before, and it's not something I care to go through again.

I'm now looking towards what I can do to work out some of these behavioural issues. Would a training class be a good idea? What should I be looking at his age? I've even wondered about more intense activity like agility training or tracking. Is there anything more I can do to address the problems at home? I guess this is a bit more than just a randy male dog obsessed with sniffing pee, so I don't expect neutering would help much at this point.

Sorry for these walls of text. I find it helpful even to have it so I can reference what I wrote for myself.
 
#11 · (Edited)
This doesn't sound sexual at all. It sounds like resource guarding and also redirected aggression. To really understand what's going on, I would get a qualified trainer in there to observe and let you know what she or he thinks and develop a plan to deal with the behaviors.

I had a dog who was like this with my other dog and my cat and I had to keep him leashed, under strict voice control or crated. It was not very relaxing in my house during that time.

I would step up your leadership, keep up very strick NILIF with the male and be sure that your female gets time alone with you. Work on a very strong "Leave it" command and proof it away from the female until it's really solid. I would also crate him while you're home at least some of the time so that he cannot continue this behavior.
 
#13 ·
I see what you're getting at, and I agree there isn't really any sexual component to this particular behaviour anymore. I think there probably was at some point, but all my past attempts to block his access to her have made the back door into more and more of an important object for him. The less control he had, the more aggressive he was towards her, and it eventually became straight up redirected aggression like you say. I'm constantly walking on eggshells around him now, and it's incredibly stressful. If I don't have him leashed to me, he may decide to go for her at any time, and his home life pretty much revolves around keeping track of her.

I've been doing pretty much what you said for a week or so now. He's leashed all the time, and he spends time in the crate. We're doing about 1 1/2 hours of training and exercise every day, both on and off leash, working on his recall and voice commands. I'm starting to get an idea of what works and what doesn't, and for him that pretty much revolves around toys, because he has very little interest in treats. There are definitely some fundamental problems I need to work out with him, because I rarely feel like his focus is on me. He does the task for the toy reward or to get where he wants. Even when we're doing loose leash training and he's behaving properly, his focus is on the walk, not on following me. When there's something more interesting, he doesn't listen to me (e.g. urine licking requires physical intervention). At home, the female is even more important than the toy, so it's a lost cause trying to train him through correcting the behaviour as it happens. I'd definitely appreciate some pointers on how to work the "leave it" command.

I can definitely see some improvement. There are fewer major incidents between them, but it's hard to tell if that's through better management or better training. It is pretty miserable at home right now unless he's physically separated from the female, and even then he's constantly listening for her footsteps and whether she's going outside.

This is going to take a lot of work. I am doing NILIF for basically everything like you suggested. He spent most of his first year with his previous owner doing what he pleased without any kind of formal training, and it's pretty obvious that didn't work out too well.

Agree with this. :)
Is neutering truly likely to make a difference at this point? I've received several PMs (which I greatly appreciate) suggesting I have it done right away, which was pretty surprising given the general anti-neuter sentiment on the forum, especially when the goal is behavioural improvements. If it helps make him easier to train or removes any underlying distraction then it would be worth it, but "what's the worst that could happen?" seems like a bad motivation. He is definitely interested in the female sexually -- following around licking her backside, licking the floor where she sits, licking her urine, etc. I can't say he is constantly displaying sexual behaviours with her, but there is clearly a strong component there based on all my past experience with him.

This morning he was wandering around the kitchen air humping with fluid leaking from his penis. Male dogs are lovely :rolleyes:
 
#16 ·
If it helps make him easier to train or removes any underlying distraction then it would be worth it,

and this would be the result
without the testosterone in the picture you can get him to focus on you much more easily and quickly
expect that it will take up to 3 months to see a huge difference but within weeks he will be less focused on her
 
#18 ·
I don't think this is a problem solely because he is un-neuterd. I think being intact is giving him more gull/drive to dominate her, control the routine, and obsess but it's not the route cause. Just a contributing factor. Neutering alone may or may not knock him down a peg. Keep in mind un-neutered dogs behave in this manner too. Especially if they have been getting away with it for a long time prior to being neutered. You can try neutering first or tackle the underlining behavioral issue with increased leadership, strict, serious, and consistent training plus an added healthy outlet for his obsessive tendencies.
 
#19 ·
I'm not convinced neutering will solve the issue. It may help (won't hurt), but at this point it sounds more like an obsession that he's developed. Being intact may have initially caused him to show interest in her urine. My intact male also will smell/lick female urine and do the teeth chattering, especially if the female is in heat (then he will drool). Interestingly, I have an older neutered male dog that was neutered very young, does not act "male" at all, even looks female, and my intact male often shows his urine the same interest as he would a female. But it sounds more like your dog has become obsessed with the whole bathroom routine and the female urine is now incidental. Neutering probably would have helped more much earlier on, but if you want to do it I don't think it would hurt (other than the slight risk of complications).
 
#21 ·
My intact male shows more interest in neutered male urine as opposed to a spayed female. Its disturbing to the human eye (as he not only licks the disposed urine but will lick their genitalia all day if I let him) but shows how much altering an animal changes their bodily functions.

I dont feel neutering will significantly help this situation as its already a well established behavior. It may help you in re focusing him but the problem will still need to be worked through. I would consult a behaviorist because the wrong advice could be given and one of the parties involved can be hurt or exacerbate the situation. In teaching my dog to leave the other dogs alone, I used my body to block him, then redirect once i've broken his focus on the dog he was victimizing (I know, humanizing :p). Now, just a simple leave it from across the room will do. But not knowing your dog or the situation, I can't give you appropriate advice. If he is possessive over her, shows any resource guarding type behavior, or if their is conflict with your leadership, physically blocking his access to her can result in a serious conflict with him possibly seeing you as a threat or redirecting his aggression to the thing (you) blocking "his" female.

Normally, I wouldn't think sniffing/licking urine would be a big deal, but wherever an OCD behavior begins to arise there is a problem and something needs to be done about it. My advice, get someone qualified in there to witness this behavior, access it and work out a solution.
 
#22 ·
Yesterday I had the chance to observe his behaviour for an afternoon at home with a different spayed female of a similar age. He is extremely familiar with this dog and regularly interacts positively with her at other locations. At the house, he treated her essentially identically to the female who lives with him, with all the negative behaviour he associates with the back door. Once outside, they had their usual great time together, happily wrestling and enjoying themselves for hours. He's also just as interested in her urine.

The whole urine thing is pretty much inconsequential at this point, aside from being an additional distraction at home. The main problem of triggered aggression is a direct result of my poor training and attempts to control his behaviour with the female at the door. He went from excitement, to frustration at being kept from her, to pre-emptively going for her because he knew he'd be restrained. At this point it's completely automatic. It's going to take a lot of work to eliminate the behaviour and get at its root cause.

For the time being, I've taken some of the excellent advice in the thread. He is crated whenever I'm not able to keep him with me under my direct control, including at night. I also crate him mid-day when I know a delivery is coming. I'm working on the "standing up from a chair" trigger by keeping a good supply of high value treats with me. When I stand up, I immediately put a treat in front of his face before he has time to react, then lead him away and make him do something for it. By the time he's finished eating it, he doesn't remember why he got up in the first place. After just a day I could see him look to me first before even thinking about the female. It's a far cry from a real solution, but I'm feeling a lot more positive about the situation after seeing how effective this kind of simple behavioural modification can be.

When in comes down to it, there are definitely some major leadership and general obedience and training issues here. He has a forceful personality and strong drive and spent his first year with very little guidance. He has a lot of distraction at home. It's not a particularly ideal situation. It's also made me realize how easy is is to accidentally train a negative behaviour if you don't know what you're doing. At the moment I'm looking for a good local (ish) trainer to work with and build a solid foundation with him. I'm not sure whether to attend a class or go for private training, but I'm happy to do what it takes to rein him in.
 
#23 ·
At least you are on the right track now. My concern was your female but since he has the same issues with another spayed female, you know that she is probly OK and not the reason for his behavior towards her.
I wold hire a private trainer who can observe the dynamics at your home and then take a class. Check them out before hiring but I am sure you know that.
Good luck with him.GSDs keep us on our toes. Otherwise we would have King Charles Spaniels I guess :)
 
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