When Does No Mean NO? - German Shepherd Dog Forums
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post #1 of 23 (permalink) Old 12-23-2013, 04:35 AM Thread Starter
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When Does No Mean NO?

Greetings Friends

I am in quite the pickle, and I'm hoping to get some advice from anyone who's been in this sort of position.

When you train your dog, how do you let them know in any way that you're serious? I've been able to tell that my dog - let alone everyone around me - doesn't respect me let alone take me serious when I say 'no.' It's like a magnetism to my aura, I just can't seem to draw the line and keep it there.

Now, it's effecting my dogs behavior and our training sessions, and I can't tell what I'm doing wrong or how I'm doing it. I just know I'm not doing something right. I can't get anyone to respect my boundaries when I say no, they can not pet my dog. Or no, he is working you may not (touch talk or eye contact) with him.

So, what would you do? If the people in your house did not adhere to your training rules with your dog? Or kept trying to pet and cuddle and distract while trying to train? And even if they do it out of spite, in what way would you hold your ground?

I need to know, I can't live another day being a push over, let alone being literally pushed over by my pup.

My Warm Thanks <3
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post #2 of 23 (permalink) Old 12-23-2013, 07:48 AM
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It sounds like your talking more about the people you live with vs your dog?

I don't know your situation, I guess I'd move out

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post #3 of 23 (permalink) Old 12-23-2013, 08:33 AM
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I'd move out if at all possible, unless you're going to stay out 24/7 it doesn't sound like a good training enviroment to build a bond in.


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post #4 of 23 (permalink) Old 12-23-2013, 09:10 AM
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Learn to state boundaries for you and your dog in clear simple ways. Say NO in unemotional ways with no need to justify. Use leverage and consequences to enforce. So if the people in the house try to cross the boundaries, use leverage, they get nothing from you. If it is the dog, unemotionally put him in a crate or another room for a time out. Make him/her work for every piece of food. Make the people work for every piece of food. ;-)

I'm a therapist so you know where this is coming from and said in a kind supportive way, get some therapy and find a trainer. And again, to me, therapy is a wonderful gift.

Kind regards!

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post #5 of 23 (permalink) Old 12-23-2013, 09:21 AM
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This sounds like a difficult situation even though "distractions" are an integral part of the overall training process. However, at the beginning stages an environment of minimal distractions is probably more desirable. I can only imagine your frustration as you attempt to train your pooch and then have all your hard work undermined by these less than understanding individuals. I guess one could say it more difficult to train humans than a dog at times. Perhaps, I might try and find a "sanctuary" of sorts away from these individuals while training, if possible.

Maybe, if you "sell the deal" in a different light where you can incorporate these folks into your training process, you might accomplish a "win-win".

Good luck and hang in there,

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post #6 of 23 (permalink) Old 12-23-2013, 10:38 AM
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I don't give my dogs a command unless I expect them to do it. Fortunately my husband got to see first hand what happens when dogs are not trained for the first year and a half of their lives when we adopted Dolly. 150lbs, no leash manners, no manners at all, got him on track to my way of thinking. Now he frequently comments ho happy he is with our dogs when we go to people's homes who have poorly behaved dogs.
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post #7 of 23 (permalink) Old 12-23-2013, 11:02 AM
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You need to be more assertive! My husband has the same problem as you do when it comes to our dog. He tries to mimic my voice/tone and it just ends up sounding wimpy and the dog usually looks at him like, "Really? You think I'm going to listen to you?" You don't need to yell or anything, but be loud and clear.

Before you give commands, imagine yourself as a Queen (or someone else in a position of power whose subordinates follow your directions) telling your people what to do. Then keep up that persona and give your dog commands. It's not exactly like a dictatorship aura you want to project, more of a "I'm important and you WILL listen to me" kind of thing.

Hope that makes some kind of sense!

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post #8 of 23 (permalink) Old 12-23-2013, 10:26 PM Thread Starter
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You all have very valid points, I did record myself during one of our training sessions, and man...I was horrible.

My back hunched over, shoulders slouched, eyes darty, voice all passive, pretty much constant damsel in distress.

I love all of the visuals and affirmations listed, I'm going to create a little rehab program for myself and video tape my progress

Thanks a million guys! <3
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post #9 of 23 (permalink) Old 12-23-2013, 11:46 PM
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If you are living with other people and you are not the head of the household/ landlord, there isn't much you can do except keep telling them what you expect. I live at home and it is sometimes hard to train my dogs because my mom and siblings aren't always on the same page. With some things, I let it go and don't train that. With other things, I keep working with the dog and usually they get it, even without the help of the others.
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post #10 of 23 (permalink) Old 12-26-2013, 03:19 AM Thread Starter
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Well here is the situation:

I live with my fiance, and he is the head of the household...however when it comes to dog training he 'forgets' what I instruct him about my training rules. So my dog knows that 'Dad' is too tired from work to care what he does. We just moved in my mother, and she thinks because she's older and I'm younger that she knows everything...so does the very opposite I tell her when I'm training my dog. I say ignore, she caters. I say 'these are the rules,' she goes and creates her own.

What do I do? It's like she's playing 'mommy knows best' but it's not even her dog.

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