i think we have an unhealthy relationship

mssandslinger · 02-06-2013, 10:53 AM

So not in a weird way but i LOVE zero, he is the first one to greet me when i come home he sleeps either at my feet or next to be on the floor. He is my total companion. but im afraid its going to far to where when i sit on the couch he cries unless he is sitting ON me in some way, with his butt or his front paws. When my BF gets up zero takes his spot on the couch or in bed even. and i cant help but rub him down and touch him when he runs up to me and sits in front of me and stares at me. He is very very talkative as it is so its hard for me to discern if its crying that i enable or him just talking.... Anyone have any suggestions for me mostly on how i can not spoil him. I know im praising him for bad behavior when he sits on me but he just gives me his big sad eyes if i dont. like all he cares about is to be next to me. actually typing that kinda sounds like he has separation anxiety.... hes a very very anxious god to begin with.

Whiteshepherds · 02-06-2013, 11:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mssandslinger

hes a very very anxious god to begin with.

Freudian slip??

wolfy dog · 02-06-2013, 12:37 PM

It sounds like you have nailed the problem already; too much attention for the wrong behavior: you are feeding the sep. anxiety. You are rewarding demanding and rude behavior. With "rude" I mean behavior that a more dominant would never accept from him.
My advice: put your boy friend first. If the dog takes his place or sits on you, put him in a time out (the dog!!). Give him more to do.

mssandslinger · 02-06-2013, 03:03 PM

yes i did slip hah i meant dog

and i will start being more assertive with him knowing his place, i just love him so i like endorsing the behavior when i know its bad. UGH! do you have any ideas on a job he could do?

wolfy dog · 02-06-2013, 07:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mssandslinger

yes i did slip hah i meant dog

and i will start being more assertive with him knowing his place, i just love him so i like endorsing the behavior when i know its bad. UGH! do you have any ideas on a job he could do?

Check this forum and breed descriptions

wolfy dog · 02-06-2013, 07:03 PM

Check this forum. Realize that love alone will not get this dog trained.

Kaity · 02-06-2013, 07:09 PM

As somebody who raised an anxious dog not realising until I put her outside in a kennel to play.. yup.

Can't raise or train a dog on love alone! Gotta have your boundaries, and your dog needs to learn independence.

mssandslinger · 02-06-2013, 08:11 PM

ithe funny thing is i was very strict with him as a puppy, we went to all kinds of dog classes and he is very well behaved, ive just been slipping into him being a 100 pound puppy that i let do whatever he wants haha, i know reading all this i sound ignorant, im not really im not to bad with training my dogs, just zero is my weak spot

jourdan · 02-06-2013, 11:43 PM

I am the same way only Avery knows to move when my husband wants to be next to me or in the spot the dog is in. He usually only gets to be a lap dog when I say it's ok though. When I got him I knew he was going to be my companion since my husband goes TDY constantly. Avery is my child in every way a child could be besides me birthing him. We spend more money on him than we do ourselves he has to have the best!

Sent from Petguide.com Free App

Muneraven · 02-07-2013, 12:00 AM

Just find that line between spoiling him enough and spoiling him so that he behaves badly. Remember that allowing him to behave badly hurts HIM.

Here's an example: Our Jaeger is allowed on the bed, and my partner usually lies down before I do and sometimes he falls asleep there with her. He loves it most when we both lay down and fuss over him in the middle, lol. This is spoiling him.

But when we tell him to get down and go lay on HIS bed . . .he HAS to do it. No amount of big baby eyes or curling up small or show of reluctance changes that.

And we do that so he always knows that we love him but he is NOT the Decider. He has to be obedient. Not even his cutest kisses negate an order from us.

And yes, it is HARD to make him get down some nights. He is so cute!

02-06-2013, 10:53 AM	#1 (permalink)
mssandslinger Master Member Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: arizona/ where we only have one season Posts: 773	i think we have an unhealthy relationship So not in a weird way but i LOVE zero, he is the first one to greet me when i come home he sleeps either at my feet or next to be on the floor. He is my total companion. but im afraid its going to far to where when i sit on the couch he cries unless he is sitting ON me in some way, with his butt or his front paws. When my BF gets up zero takes his spot on the couch or in bed even. and i cant help but rub him down and touch him when he runs up to me and sits in front of me and stares at me. He is very very talkative as it is so its hard for me to discern if its crying that i enable or him just talking.... Anyone have any suggestions for me mostly on how i can not spoil him. I know im praising him for bad behavior when he sits on me but he just gives me his big sad eyes if i dont. like all he cares about is to be next to me. actually typing that kinda sounds like he has separation anxiety.... hes a very very anxious god to begin with. __________________ "And they call it...puppy looooovvveeee"

02-06-2013, 12:37 PM	#3 (permalink)
wolfy dog Elite Member Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: Pacific NW Posts: 1,320	It sounds like you have nailed the problem already; too much attention for the wrong behavior: you are feeding the sep. anxiety. You are rewarding demanding and rude behavior. With "rude" I mean behavior that a more dominant would never accept from him. My advice: put your boy friend first. If the dog takes his place or sits on you, put him in a time out (the dog!!). Give him more to do. __________________ To know if you are doing things right, you should be willing to trade places with your dog.

02-06-2013, 03:03 PM	#4 (permalink)
mssandslinger Master Member Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: arizona/ where we only have one season Posts: 773	yes i did slip hah i meant dog and i will start being more assertive with him knowing his place, i just love him so i like endorsing the behavior when i know its bad. UGH! do you have any ideas on a job he could do? __________________ "And they call it...puppy looooovvveeee"

02-06-2013, 07:03 PM	#6 (permalink)
wolfy dog Elite Member Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: Pacific NW Posts: 1,320	Check this forum. Realize that love alone will not get this dog trained. __________________ To know if you are doing things right, you should be willing to trade places with your dog.

02-06-2013, 07:09 PM	#7 (permalink)
Kaity Elite Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Surrey, BC Posts: 1,168	As somebody who raised an anxious dog not realising until I put her outside in a kennel to play.. yup. Can't raise or train a dog on love alone! Gotta have your boundaries, and your dog needs to learn independence. __________________ Kaity, owned by Vida (3years) & Hype, 7 weeks

02-06-2013, 08:11 PM	#8 (permalink)
mssandslinger Master Member Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: arizona/ where we only have one season Posts: 773	ithe funny thing is i was very strict with him as a puppy, we went to all kinds of dog classes and he is very well behaved, ive just been slipping into him being a 100 pound puppy that i let do whatever he wants haha, i know reading all this i sound ignorant, im not really im not to bad with training my dogs, just zero is my weak spot __________________ "And they call it...puppy looooovvveeee"

02-06-2013, 11:43 PM	#9 (permalink)
jourdan Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: Martinshohe, Germany Posts: 229	i think we have an unhealthy relationship I am the same way only Avery knows to move when my husband wants to be next to me or in the spot the dog is in. He usually only gets to be a lap dog when I say it's ok though. When I got him I knew he was going to be my companion since my husband goes TDY constantly. Avery is my child in every way a child could be besides me birthing him. We spend more money on him than we do ourselves he has to have the best! Sent from Petguide.com Free App __________________ The best things in life are Furry!! Mamma to Mellie (Black Cat) and Avery (GSD)

02-07-2013, 12:00 AM	#10 (permalink)
Muneraven Member Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: Minnesota Posts: 183	Just find that line between spoiling him enough and spoiling him so that he behaves badly. Remember that allowing him to behave badly hurts HIM. Here's an example: Our Jaeger is allowed on the bed, and my partner usually lies down before I do and sometimes he falls asleep there with her. He loves it most when we both lay down and fuss over him in the middle, lol. This is spoiling him. But when we tell him to get down and go lay on HIS bed . . .he HAS to do it. No amount of big baby eyes or curling up small or show of reluctance changes that. And we do that so he always knows that we love him but he is NOT the Decider. He has to be obedient. Not even his cutest kisses negate an order from us. And yes, it is HARD to make him get down some nights. He is so cute!

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