Back to square one?

[NewbieShepherdGirl]

When I first got Sasha she was pretty afraid of all of us, me included. I leashed her to me (mostly to make sure she wouldn't potty on the floor. She was potty trained but I figured stress+new environment might = accident) When I was home she was leashed to me probably for the first few days...I can't really remember now. It didn't take her but a few days to figure out I was a good thing. I'm not saying she trusted me 100% but she at least seemed tentatively sure I wasn't going to hurt her. She hasn't acted a bit afraid of me since.

Until now.

I don't know what's going on. This behavior started I think around a month ago. She would all of the sudden act like I was just gonna hit her (get down real low) and run to her crate and wouldn't come out. This would usually happen after she would wake up from a nap for some reason. I do not hit her. I will never hit her. I do not yell at her; I don't really yell at anyone for that matter. I don't understand this change. So I thought...well, I don't like that she's choosing that behavior so from now on she only gets to go to her crate when I allow it. That seemed to help, as if she didn't have access to her crate she didn't act like that at all. So I thought, well...weird, but ok. So fast forward to this weekend. We come down to visit my mom. She LOVES my mom, but she's always preferred me. Now I'll try to call her to me and she'll go hide behind my mom. I'll ask her if she wants a treat and she'll run away. She has NEVER not wanted a treat from me, and I have NEVER incorporated anything negative in association with the treat. It's always a good thing, usually for doing something correct (though occasionally just because I want to give her one) and I am usually really happy/excitable trying to reinforce whatever she has just done.

At first I thought perhaps I had/was giving some sort of correction to harshly, but as I really examined her behavior I noticed it never occurs after a correction. Never. It's always just been random after we've been chilling. Now all of the sudden, since we've come home, it's all the time. I'm at a loss at what to do, and it's really breaking my heart. I know this has to be something I've done, but I honestly can think of what I could have done to make her afraid of me. She's my world; I would do anything and everything for this girl, and I really thought she knew that. We've been a team now since January, and I want our relationship back, but since I can't identify the problem so I'm having trouble fixing it.

I just started (yesterday) reading Purely positive training and was hoping to start implementing some of those things into our relationship (some of them we already do, but some of it I had never even thought about). I have her leashed to me right now, as I don't want her to be able to make the decision to run away; I just don't think allowing that would be positive. That being said no matter how much leash I give her she's at the end of it. I decided that since I want her to know that all good things come from me, that tonight we would feed our evening meal out of my hand, but she won't even take the food. I know she will when she gets hungry enough, but this is really upsetting to me.

Has anyone ever had this happen or have any advice. I swear I don't abuse her; I would give my life for this girl. I know she's a really sensitive girl so I try to always keep that in mind when we're doing stuff. I really don't understand what I'm doing wrong. (P.S. I'm not posting this so that I can be told I'm not doing anything wrong. I am sure I am or this wouldn't be happening. I DO genuinely want advice.)

[Daisy&Lucky's Mom]

Thats a tough situation. I dont have alot of answers but sometimes I wonder looking back at Lucky if they redo some developmental stages after they have been adopted. , Lucky was easily scared by men but was ok w/ me. However one night got me w/ his canine when I leaned into his face.Later found out he had sprained some neck muscles. If it were not for her age two I would wonder about adolescence.Is there any trainer you trust that could observe the two of you ? Good Luck.

[chelle]

Originally Posted by NewbieShepherdGirl

I have her leashed to me right now, as I don't want her to be able to make the decision to run away; I just don't think allowing that would be positive. That being said no matter how much leash I give her she's at the end of it.

How perplexing!?? I also own a sensitive girl, (not GSD).

I really don't know what to say... I guess I'd try taking off that leash. Let her go do her thing.? Have some yummy treats with you. Let her know you're sitting there with those yummy treats. I'd even lay down on the floor. She might not come, but you're the least "scary" down there. She loves you!!! Maybe it's a funny little phase? (Didn't catch her age?) If she did come to me as I'm laying on the floor, I wouldn't try to hug, grab, kiss, anything unless she initiated it. Just some nice sweet talk. Ah, don't worry, she loves you, mama. It may sound terrible to say, but maybe ignore her a lil bit, but be all smiles and love when SHE initiates the contact. Just let her do it?

[NewbieShepherdGirl]

Originally Posted by Daisy&Lucky's Mom

Thats a tough situation. I dont have alot of answers but sometimes I wonder looking back at Lucky if they redo some developmental stages after they have been adopted. , Lucky was easily scared by men but was ok w/ me. However one night got me w/ his canine when I leaned into his face.Later found out he had sprained some neck muscles. If it were not for her age two I would wonder about adolescence.Is there any trainer you trust that could observe the two of you ? Good Luck.

I don't really know of any personal trainer, nor do I have the money to invest in one at the moment. I've been trying to look for signs that maybe there's something physically wrong, but since I'm the only one she's like that with (my cousin and aunt came over and she loved on them, and my mom and my brother) I can't imagine there is something. That redoing developmental stages was something I wondered about (though the fact that it's only with me is a bit odd) but I don't really know enough about that stuff.

Originally Posted by chelle

How perplexing!?? I also own a sensitive girl, (not GSD).

I really don't know what to say... I guess I'd try taking off that leash. Let her go do her thing.? Have some yummy treats with you. Let her know you're sitting there with those yummy treats. I'd even lay down on the floor. She might not come, but you're the least "scary" down there. She loves you!!! Maybe it's a funny little phase? (Didn't catch her age?) If she did come to me as I'm laying on the floor, I wouldn't try to hug, grab, kiss, anything unless she initiated it. Just some nice sweet talk. Ah, don't worry, she loves you, mama. It may sound terrible to say, but maybe ignore her a lil bit, but be all smiles and love when SHE initiates the contact. Just let her do it?

She's two. I did take her off the leash (had to cook and didn't want her anywhere attached to me while I was doing that for safety purposes) and she hasn't been on leash since. She won't take treats from me at all. If I even mention treats she runs, if she does come up she takes the treat and spits it out. I am trying to be very very positive and extra rewarding for any positive thing she does, and am trying to ignore the negatives as best I can. It's just hard to watch her run from me and follow someone else around like she's their shadow... I hope this passes soon. I really do love her a lot.

[Dooney's Mom]

oh man thats rough. I agree with Chelle, try ignoring her for a while and laying on the floor, and if/WHEN she comes over still ignore her. As far as what you are doing wrong, I don't know. maybe she was just having a rough moment and maybe you pushed too hard (not in a mean way) and now she is back to being timid and not confident.

Good luck and keep us posted on this one please!

[NewbieShepherdGirl]

Originally Posted by Dooney's Mom

oh man thats rough. I agree with Chelle, try ignoring her for a while and laying on the floor, and if/WHEN she comes over still ignore her. As far as what you are doing wrong, I don't know. maybe she was just having a rough moment and maybe you pushed too hard (not in a mean way) and now she is back to being timid and not confident.

Good luck and keep us posted on this one please!

I've been wracking my brain trying to figure out when that was because that's one of the thoughts I had to. I can't come up with anything, but I seriously don't believe she just woke up one day and said, "Now I'm going to be periodically, unexplainably, afraid of you." I know whatever I did can be undone; it would just be easier if I knew what exactly that was.

[chelle]

Originally Posted by NewbieShepherdGirl

I hope this passes soon. I really do love her a lot.

I'll bet it does pass, maybe not as soon as you might like (like, today!) but it will surely pass. No doubt in the world you love her dearly. Hang in there and don't let your heart break too much. Easier said than done, I'm very sure. Sorry you're going thru this. It has to hurt. I feel a little tinge of jealousy when Bailey follows someone else, even though it is really good for him to not be *so* caught up in me.

[NewbieShepherdGirl]

Little update: This was well. She greeted me with kisses and excitement. Overall very happy. Just tried to give her some cooked chicken, and as soon as I got it out she disengaged. She now doesn't want me to touch her, talk to her, or feed her treats (the chicken) though she really did want the chicken, she just didn't want to take it from me. *sigh*