Anxious Around Men?

[Ohwem]

Is that possible? Ever since I've been pregnant, my female GSD has been getting more and more terrified of men when they come over to visit. She barks, growls, her hair all stands on end, and if they approach she urinates and runs away. We always instruct our vistors to not make eye contact, not talk to her, and not attempt to pet her. If our visitors listen to us before they enter our home, she has no reaction to them and stays calm. If they don't listen, she freaks out as mentioned.

Again, this is usually just with our male visitors. Yesterday I had a female friend over and Chloe didn't react at all (and this friend rarely comes over). Nada, not even a growl. She even went right up to my friend, sniffed her, then lay down at her feet and enjoyed an ear scritch. But, if any man comes over, she avoids them in terror with her tail tucked and if they look at her, she growls, barks, or urinates herself and runs.

If we know a visitor has arrived or is coming over, not only do we instruct them on the "rules" for the dogs, but we also set the rules for our dogs. For Chloe, we usually put her on a leash, give her a command (ie, sit or lay down), and just keep her focused on us rather than the guest. If a visitor arrives unexpectedly, then I usually give her the command to "kennel up" or "go outside" which are commands that she follows immediately without fail thus far and also give her a place to go in order to avoid escalating the situation. We also installed a hinged safety gate at the top of the stairs leading to the front door so that neither one of our dogs cannot approach our guests if they arrive unexpectedly so that we have a chance to make sure we have a way to mitigate the situation.

Perhaps it is partially my fault, as I have my own fear of men (in a way)and react a little more tensely if a man shows up at my house unannouced. My brother also attacked me in my own home, which also happened in front of Chloe. Would she even remember this? I know I do, of course, so I tend to distance myself from men, especially since I worry about my baby's health so much lately. For instance, my husband brought over his brother today without telling me first...and his brother just recently was kicked out of his own house because he hit his daughter while intoxicated. So, of course, I wasn't exactly thrilled to see him and didn't stop Chloe from barking at him right away as I was busy trying to figure out what was going on (and I can't get up very quickly if at all right now anyway due to pregnancy complications)...and my husband's brother ignored my husband's instructions to ignore Chloe (he looked at her and said loudly "Are you done yet?" and then approached her in an attempt to pet her, all of which my husband did not attempt to stop either). Fortunately, all she did was urinate and run away, but I worry that this could get worse and feel like we are failing...

I also would like to add that we have tried using positive reinforcement with her. For instance, we have someone ring the doorbell and she gets a treat. Or, if she approaches a guest of her own free will, she gets a treat (which we give to them when they come through the door). This has helped her become completely at ease with most people, but again she still has issues with the men that I have issues with and also the ones that don't listen to us and "stare" at her or talk to her. They tell us that it has nothing to do with them and that she just is a bad dog or a stupid dog...

[MaggieRoseLee]

Perhaps it is partially my fault, as I have my own fear of men (in a way)and react a little more tensely if a man shows up at my house unannouced. My brother also attacked me in my own home, which also happened in front of Chloe. Would she even remember this? I know I do, of course, so I tend to distance myself from men, especially since I worry about my baby's health so much lately. For instance, my husband brought over his brother today without telling me first...and his brother just recently was kicked out of his own house because he hit his daughter while intoxicated. So, of course, I wasn't exactly thrilled to see him and didn't stop Chloe from barking at him right away as I was busy trying to figure out what was going on (and I can't get up very quickly if at all right now anyway due to pregnancy complications)...and my husband's brother ignored my husband's instructions to ignore Chloe (he looked at her and said loudly "Are you done yet?" and then approached her in an attempt to pet her, all of which my husband did not attempt to stop either). Fortunately, all she did was urinate and run away, but I worry that this could get worse and feel like we are failing...

Your reaction can absolutely affect hers. So you aren't doing her any favors when you aren't acting happy and calm and CONFIDENT when men are around. For her, I think you should do your best to 'pretend' your way into confidence so she feels the same.

I'd continue with asking people (men?) to ignore her when they come over. Lessens the stress and PRESSURE she may otherwise feel. It will ALSO now give her the opportunity to watch/listen/learn FROM YOU. Take the lead FROM YOU. Cue her behavior FROM YOU.

So she'll get used to the 'mom is calm/man is nice/nothing happened/hmmm even got a treat' lifestyle.

Are you able to exercise her like normal? That has a huge affect on my dogs behavior. Happy, healthy and exercised dog is in a much better mental mindset then not.