Pilots and Mechanics--something to laugh about

KSdogowner · 09-13-2011, 07:09 PM

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form called a "gripe sheet" which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct he problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft

P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit

P: Dead bugs on windshield
S: Live bugs on back-order

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear:
S: Evidence removed

P: DME volume unbelievably loud
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode

P: Suspected crack in windshield
S: Suspect you're right

P: Number 3 engine missing
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search

P: Aircraft handles funny
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious

P: Target radar hums
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics

P: Mouse in cockpit
S: Cat installed

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from the midget

mason79 · 09-13-2011, 08:56 PM

now that is some funny stuff.

weber1b · 09-13-2011, 09:07 PM

Gotta love your work.

dogluver · 09-13-2011, 09:55 PM

this has left me laughing with tears running down my cheeks. Really needed that!

KSdogowner · 09-13-2011, 10:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dogluver

this has left me laughing with tears running down my cheeks. Really needed that!

Yeah, me, too. Barely could finish reading the sentence I was laughing so hard the first time I read it. Glad it helped lighten up your day

Lixx · 09-13-2011, 10:02 PM

Hilarious!

09-13-2011, 07:09 PM	#1 (permalink)
KSdogowner Elite Member Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Kansas Posts: 1,313	Pilots and Mechanics--something to laugh about After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form called a "gripe sheet" which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct he problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement S: Almost replaced left inside main tire P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft P: Something loose in cockpit S: Something tightened in cockpit P: Dead bugs on windshield S: Live bugs on back-order P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear: S: Evidence removed P: DME volume unbelievably loud S: DME volume set to more believable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what friction locks are for. P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode P: Suspected crack in windshield S: Suspect you're right P: Number 3 engine missing S: Engine found on right wing after brief search P: Aircraft handles funny S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious P: Target radar hums S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics P: Mouse in cockpit S: Cat installed P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from the midget __________________ Elvi Lexie (Rotti-x), Max (GSD/Husky), Sophie (WGSD) R.I.P. Ozzy (GSD), Sabrie (GSD), Kaiser (GSD), Peaches (Cat) "Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending." - Maria Robinson

09-13-2011, 09:07 PM	#3 (permalink)
weber1b Elite Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Chicagoland Posts: 1,481	Gotta love your work. __________________ Clover - GSD 6 yr old Rescue Max - GSD 4 yr old Shelter Patton - GSD 6 yr old Abandoned Rogue - Grey Tabby cat - 11 yr old Stray R.I.P. Spats, Sophie, Emmie, Pooh Bear Remember, if someone has a problem with you.........it is in fact their problem.

09-13-2011, 10:02 PM	#6 (permalink)
Lixx Master Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 551	Hilarious! __________________ My Current foster: Logan My crew: Dante - Mutt Morpheus - Rottweiler Briggs - APBT x RR Faeron - GSD Errol -Mutt Teito - GSD

09-13-2011, 08:56 PM	#2 (permalink)
mason79 Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: West Union, Ohio Posts: 36	now that is some funny stuff.

09-13-2011, 09:55 PM	#4 (permalink)
dogluver Member Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Coastal GA Posts: 70	this has left me laughing with tears running down my cheeks. Really needed that!

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