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Anxiety over Socialization

2K views 10 replies 6 participants last post by  Chip18 
#1 ·
My pup has gone above and beyond my expectations in terms of socializing with new people and dogs (on leash). However before every interaction I have a moment of sheer panic and anxiety. I do have a tendency to be high strung and have severe anxiety about EVERY new situation in my life, and I worry especially when Oaks meets a young child or a dog because I feel like I cannot control the situation beyond my own dog.

He seems to be really receptive of this, and at home when I'm having panic attacks he will sit or lay on my feet. I just don't know how to calm that little voice down in my head so it doesn't effect him when he's meeting new people or in a new situation (you should have seen me try to cross the street with him and my 5 year old in tow, I thought I was going to have a coronary). Anyone else deal with anxiety like this? What can I do to make things go smoother for everyone? I know it's all in my head unfortunately.
 
#3 ·
Hmm, I have not seen "that" Leerburg article?? I'm much more familiar with this one and it's pretty much "Treat Free." Interesting change in approach ... but whatever.

But it sounds to "me" like the OP does not have a "Dog" problem she has a "her" problem. I can relate my tales of "Rocky" and his "former" "People Issues" are well know here. And these days he is mostly "off leash" and in the rare instances when I get "trapped" by people asking questions about him "Wobble" dog ... he is still "off leash" and is free to intermingle or not as he sees fit. :)

Never had a single issue and he has meet tons of strangers ... not my plan but crap happens. My point is ... I can relate to the "OP's" concerns, because of "my" history with "Rocky" (I did the hard work) I will "never" be as "relaxed" with him as was around people with my "Boxer and American Band Dawg" they rolled out the box loving people.

But it sounds like you have done your part well and you have shown your dog, how you "expect him to behave around people." That is what you do ... and it sounds like he gets that?? As long as your not "choking up on the leash" and have the "expectation" that your dog "understands how to behave" you'll be fine. :)

I usually recommend "The Place Command" and "Sit on the Dog" for "Dogs" but "Sit on the Dog" can work for you also details for those can be found here:

Fearful, Anxious or Flat Crazy "The Place CommanD - Boxer Forum : Boxer Breed Dog Forums

With "Sit on the Dog" you just find an out of the way spot and "Sit" and people watch no interaction required, works for dogs and there owners also. :)
 
#6 ·
But it sounds to "me" like the OP does not have a "Dog" problem she has a "her" problem. I can relate my tales of "Rocky" and his "former" "People Issues" are well know here. And these days he is mostly "off leash" and in the rare instances when I get "trapped" by people asking questions about him "Wobble" dog ... he is still "off leash" and is free to intermingle or not as he sees fit. :)

Never had a single issue and he has meet tons of strangers ... not my plan but crap happens. My point is ... I can relate to the "OP's" concerns, because of "my" history with "Rocky" (I did the hard work) I will "never" be as "relaxed" with him as was around people with my "Boxer and American Band Dawg" they rolled out the box loving people.

But it sounds like you have done your part well and you have shown your dog, how you "expect him to behave around people." That is what you do ... and it sounds like he gets that?? As long as your not "choking up on the leash" and have the "expectation" that your dog "understands how to behave" you'll be fine. :)

I usually recommend "The Place Command" and "Sit on the Dog" for "Dogs" but "Sit on the Dog" can work for you also details for those can be found here:
Yes he is a good boy when he meets people. I correct him in the rare case he goes paws up on someone and usually he just rolls over for a belly rub.

I think this anxiety comes from past experience with (poorly socialized) GSDs I had when I was a kid, both dogs were involved in bite incidents with children in my own yard (both children were bit on the face). There was also an incident with a neighbor's GSD that got out and attacked my dog and I while I was out walking alone. It was very traumatizing because I was stuck on my dogs leash and was dragged along in their fight and I can still recall how there was blood everywhere. It's hard not to choke a bit in these new situations when kids run up to us or an unfamiliar dog walks by.

I've been working on my anxiety for the past few years, I'm on an as needed regimen for meds and do my breathing exercises. It rarely debilitates me now but it still makes things difficult.

Thank you for the info on the sit on the dog, we are going to try that on our next walk to the park.
 
#5 ·
Sounds like you have an awesome dog.

"I feel like I cannot control the situation beyond my own dog." This is true for everyone, but we can control our reaction to the situation.

I used to have panic attacks where I couldn't breathe. I suggest you develop strategies. Have you tried distracting yourself by reciting memorized poetry, multiplication tables or math formulas, favourite recipes or songs, talking to your 5 year old? Jaw relaxation exercises may help towards preventing you tensing up. Develop an attitude of I choose to be in control and I'm improving with my coping skills, rather than letting anxiety overwhelm and define who you are. See anxiety as something you are gaining control over, not anxiety controlling you. Discipline yourself to smile, smiling is your face telling your brain you are happy. Discipline and train yourself, it takes time but you will see progress.
 
#8 ·
Try to think about what went positive with the interactions afterwards. Sounds like your dog is great, so even if you feel like you failed the interaction by being anxious if your dog did well think about that, it might help build confidence over time. If you try to start focusing more on what your dog is doing it might take your mind off how you are feeling or over thinking the situation. Hope this helps!
 
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