My angry vent for the night (non gsd) - German Shepherd Dog Forums

Increase font size: 0, 10, 25, 50%

GermanShepherds.com is the premier German Shepherd Forum on the internet. Registered Users do not see the above ads.
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 07-11-2014, 09:48 PM   #1 (permalink)
Knighted Member
 
misslesleedavis1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: -
Posts: 2,179
Default My angry vent for the night (non gsd)

I am so u insanely angry about my cureent situation at home. My fiance has 2 kids with his ex wife and we are left holding the whole financial bag for everything.

He has been paying well over 2500.00 to her every month for child support and alimony, in the sep contract it states that if she has a new man live with her my SO gets to stop alimony asap. Well about 2 years ago the kids mentioned her boyfriend moved in and when he brought this up to her she offcourse denied it so the alimony has not stopped and he will not bring it up again.

Recently he got his almst 16 year old a job making good money this summer but instead of helping with the drive in to Markham everyday for her child she said absolutely no, so my so is off to get him to work at 6 am and pick him up.

She went away for 3 weeks last summer to argentina and we watched the kids and she said she was not giving him a dime of the kids support money for the 3 weeks- my so said nothing,
This is occuring again as she is on her plane to italy as i type this and again a he is left holding all the bag. Infact his child support money is probably going to be spent on a new purse.

He treats her like she is incapable and makes excuses for her, There is so many more examples but it would take me forever to list them. The kids are all older, we have them 4 days out of the week every freakn week so its certainly split custody.

She has no job. I am losing hope for my SO truthfuly- I just used to tell myself that he was a wonderful dad which he is (most dont pay support) but come on that excuse is now old and he just keeps bending over, i am not sure its even about the kids well being at this point, heck they are old enough to spend nights alone.

I dont think there is anything to be done- i just needed to vent, it sucks around here tonight, i just could cry.
misslesleedavis1 is online now   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 07-11-2014, 10:55 PM   #2 (permalink)
Crowned Member
 
selzer's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Denmark, Ohio
Posts: 24,878
Default

And this is why marriage ought to be a forever decision. You are hooked up with a guy with a wife (x) and two kids. Of course he MUST support his kids. If he does not, then he is not a man. And, why should he not make an effort to get his son to a job? Just because he is shelling out cash does not mean that he should not do anything else when it comes to raising them.

Your husband made a decision to marry a woman, lived with her, had a few kids, and then decided to split up. The kids are the ones with the grievances here. The parents made their choices. The kids had no choice. Of course she still needs the support money even if the kids spend part of the time at your home. The house payment or rent isn't determined by how much time the kids spend there.

It sounds like one of the kids is 16 at this point. The other is probably not far behind. Soon your husband can end the alimony and support. But he will still be a father, and he will still be giving his children help, providing for their education, and even dealing with his x from time to time -- weddings, funerals, etc.

The x-wife will have her situation change considerably soon enough. And your part as the girl friend will only look like a gold digger, if you try to get between your fiance and his first family while the kids are still minors/in school.
__________________
Jenna, RN CGC & Babs, CD RA CGC HIC
Heidi, RA CGC
SG3 Odessa, SchH1, Kkl1, AD
Ninja, RN CGC & Milla, RN CGC
Joy, Star Puppy, RN CGC
Dolly CGC & Bear CGC
Gretta
Hepzibah & Hannah
selzer is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 07-11-2014, 10:59 PM   #3 (permalink)
Crowned Member
 
Sunflowers's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: The Sunshine State
Posts: 7,347
Default

In your ideal world, what would you have him do?
__________________
Norden von Narnia (Hans) DOB 1-15-2012
Sunflowers is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 07-11-2014, 11:00 PM   #4 (permalink)
Crowned Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Oregon
Posts: 13,287
Default

He's not yet her husband - he's her fiance.

My thoughts: So? He won't stand up to her and you won't stand up to him or you would not be making this post. If this is not where you want to be, fix the SO or get out.

Like Selzer said - his obligation is to his kids. His kids should be his first priority. If you can't accept this, you need to be in a different relationship.
middleofnowhere is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 07-11-2014, 11:04 PM   #5 (permalink)
Knighted Member
 
misslesleedavis1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: -
Posts: 2,179
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunflowers View Post
In your ideal world, what would you have him do?
In an ideal world he would request some funds for CHILD support while we take care of the kids for a month
While she is in italy. Besides its about the kids right.

Sent from Petguide.com Free App
misslesleedavis1 is online now   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 07-11-2014, 11:05 PM   #6 (permalink)
Elite Member
 
glowingtoadfly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: WI
Posts: 1,265
Default

Yeah. He only needs to support them. She is a grown woman.
__________________
Emily
Skadi, AKA Lady Wolfington, GSD 4.6.12
Grim, AKA Bones , GSD 7.7.13
glowingtoadfly is online now   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 07-11-2014, 11:05 PM   #7 (permalink)
Knighted Member
 
misslesleedavis1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: -
Posts: 2,179
Default

Well. It is not about the kids. The kids are happy and living the good life. Its about taking advantage.

Sent from Petguide.com Free App
misslesleedavis1 is online now   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 07-11-2014, 11:09 PM   #8 (permalink)
Elite Member
 
Packen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,098
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by misslesleedavis1 View Post
In an ideal world he would request some funds for CHILD support while we take care of the kids for a month
While she is in italy. Besides its about the kids right.

Sent from Petguide.com Free App
Not gonna happen as it is not an ideal world we live in. Divorce laws were written decades ago when the woman only raised kids, nowadays women are equal partners in everything else but take full benefit of the old laws (even if they earn the same as the x-hub). It is life.
__________________
Gnash von den Sportwaffen IPO3x2, AD, HOT
Brimwylf Creasy
http://youtu.be/8ZvQpRj-6tA
Packen is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 07-11-2014, 11:09 PM   #9 (permalink)
Knighted Member
 
misslesleedavis1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: -
Posts: 2,179
Default

Is it that far out of the bloody realm to say "hey you have the kids for a month while I am in italy, why dont you keep half the child support and take them someplace"
This post is certainly not about me being a "gold digger" or "angry about the kids" its simply a vent about my so being bent over.

Sent from Petguide.com Free App
misslesleedavis1 is online now   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 07-11-2014, 11:11 PM   #10 (permalink)
Knighted Member
 
misslesleedavis1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: -
Posts: 2,179
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Packen View Post
Not gonna happen as it is not an ideal world we live in. Divorce laws were written decades ago when the woman only raised kids, nowadays women are equal partners in everything else but take full benefit of the old laws (even if they earn the same as the x-hub). It is life.
No you are right. She quit her job after they got married so fast it made his head spin lol

Sent from Petguide.com Free App
misslesleedavis1 is online now   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the German Shepherd Dog Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:22 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
SEO by vBSEO 3.3.2
PetGuide.com
Basset.net DobermanTalk.com GoldenRetrieverForum.com OurBeagleWorld.com
BoxerForums.com DogForums.com GoPitbull.com PoodleForum.com
BulldogBreeds.com FishForums.com HavaneseForum.com SpoiledMaltese.com
CatForum.com GermanShepherds.com Labradoodle-dogs.net YorkieForum.com
Chihuahua-People.com RetrieverBreeds.com