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Old 04-08-2014, 01:36 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default breakups and dogs

Well after 3 years and 11 months of dating, Kristen and I have split up... not my choice, but long story short is she feels lost in life and needs to do some growing up and there is only so much I can do. I never proposed because I never felt like she was ready (even though she said she was), and everything that's come up now is EXACTLY why I haven't.

Anyway, the most devastating thing about all this is having to split the dogs up. I've had Buggi since before we were dating, so he obviously is going to stay with me, but I can't bear knowing that I won't get to have my little snuggle buddy Jackson anymore. She's moving back to her parent's in two months in NY, so I will keep him until then, but it's just so sad. I've told her anytime she flies back to Austin to visit friends, I'll pay for him to fly with her and I'd keep him for the weekends she travels here.

I just don't know how she can afford to keep the little stinker moving back to NY without a job and what not, and I adopted him FOR her, but part of me wants to keep him. He will have a bichon () to play with there, but it's hard to come to grips with it.

Life goes on, I'm okay with all of this, but like I said, the hardest part is after having that little brat for almost 3 years and training him and watching him grow into the awesome little 17 pounds of muscle that he is, it will just be me and the Bubs.

Haven't been on in a while, and I apologize for dumping this on everyone. Don't worry, I'm fine, just a bit sad.

It's funny, though, out of all of this, I'm most sad about splitting the boys up and losing the little annoying furball of a schnoodle.
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Old 04-08-2014, 01:43 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I'm very sorry to hear this.
Is she close to the dog? Who does the dog mainly look up to? I think the "master" of this dog should take custody. Just my personal opinion.
I hope everything works out!

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Old 04-08-2014, 01:47 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HarleyTheGSD View Post
I'm very sorry to hear this.
Is she close to the dog? Who does the dog mainly look up to? I think the "master" of this dog should take custody. Just my personal opinion.
I hope everything works out!

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i totally agree. the dog bonds to us equally and in different ways, but at the end of the day, he knows he can get away with bloody murder with her and not with me. he's not a GSD, and it took me a while to warm to him, but i love the little stinker and would keep him in a heartbeat.
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Old 04-08-2014, 01:50 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Any kind of breakup like this, even though you were probably expecting it is stressful.
From my perspective it seems like keeping the dog may hinder your ex-girlfriend from accepting new and challenging opportunities that may be available for her.

I've known two couples that broke up and then had to decide who gets custody of the dog. With one couple, the lady kept the dog, she had the more flexible job and family support. The other couple, the one with the more stable and better paying job kept the dog, that was the girlfriend. She works at our college and has the summer off and all the other holidays. She was very kind and generous like you and would let her ex have the dog when he wasn't working on the weekends and then when he moved to L.A., she would let him stay at her place when he was able to travel and get away to visit the dog.
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Old 04-08-2014, 01:55 PM   #5 (permalink)
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That's too bad, breakups are always hard. Sorry to hear that. I'm wondering who did all the agility with Jackson? If it was you, then you should definitely get to keep him with you.
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Old 04-08-2014, 02:06 PM   #6 (permalink)
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So sorry......

Been there, been through it too, it hurts and figuring out the dogs and who gets to keep whom....

All I can say is keep the communication lines open. Your EX may end up letting you keep the little guy or giving him back.....
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Old 04-08-2014, 02:09 PM   #7 (permalink)
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So sorry to hear about the break up. Life has a way of throwing us a wrench every now and then, doesn't it?

If Kristen goes back home and finds it difficult to keep Jackson, would she let you know? Provide you first opportunity to bring him back to Austin?
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Old 04-08-2014, 02:13 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Sorry to hear this. "They" say things work out for the best. Hopefully that's true.
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Old 04-08-2014, 02:39 PM   #9 (permalink)
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thanks for the support, everybody!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilie View Post
So sorry to hear about the break up. Life has a way of throwing us a wrench every now and then, doesn't it?

If Kristen goes back home and finds it difficult to keep Jackson, would she let you know? Provide you first opportunity to bring him back to Austin?
nancy, i know i'd get first option to take him if she can't afford/take care of him. i'd fly up to NY and bring him back with me in a heartbeat. and we've agreed to keep it civil for the dogs- she's losing a german shepherd that she fell in love with and Buggi got her to fall in love with dogs in the first place. so we will send pictures, snapchats, videos, etc. of the dogs to each other.

kristen did the agility work with him- she is his primary handler.

the biggest problem is that kristen shuts down when she gets over stressed. when she realized she wanted "space" from me, she just left me with both of the dogs, and i just handled it. she struggles with "handling it." life doesn't give you vacations or space, or time to sort things out. you just gotta keep on truckin'. i don't know how that will translate to her future with jackson. i don't doubt her ability to care for him at all. in fact, she has been exemplary in that department these past couple years.
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Old 04-08-2014, 02:50 PM   #10 (permalink)
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i appreciate y'all being there for me. i don't really have a huge support group here in Austin because my life revolves around the dogs and work, and don't have a close bond with my family to feel comfortable talking to them about this.
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