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SummerGSDLover 01-17-2014 05:20 AM

Friends.
 
I need some. How do you go about making new friends? And once you have acquaintances how do you form a deep friendship? I seem to have a problem with this. I really am a nice person and would do anything for the people in my life. What am I doing wrong?

*-*Summer*-*

Sp00ks 01-17-2014 06:01 AM

Friend are overrated. I'm kidding. No I'm not stalking you either. Yours are the only threads showing as unread at this ungodly hour of the morning.

Deep Friendship has to come with time, but not always. School, work, people that share a common interest. Don't force it. Do what you do and put yourself out there. Don't be a recluse and I can't imagine you not making friends.

wyoung2153 01-17-2014 09:18 AM

Something that I have read recently about this exact subject was to treat Friendships like you would an actual relationship with your significant other (obviously without the physical need, lol) But you go about it the same way. Meet, talk, exchange numbers, do something in a big group, etc.

Another thing that I had to remind myself when I moved to Florida by myself was that friends weren't going to come to me. And I kept meeting people but they were all into things I wasn't, but then it dawned on me. If I want to have a friend who enjoys what I enjoy, I actually have to do those things. So I was going out, thinking if I'm out, I will meet people, vs the thought that well I'm going to go to the dog park more because those people like dogs too and there's a common ground. Or I want someone who is going to be able to keep up with me physically.. hiking, kayaking, running, etc.. so I should probably not put my "b*tch" face on at the gym anymore. Those kinds of things. It was really hard for me here for some reason, but just doing things I liked really really helped me meet people that are into the same things as me and it wasn't a constant struggle to find common ground. Also, I don't know if you go to church or not, but that was a huge avenue for me when I finally found one over here.

Are you more introverted or extroverted?

Galathiel 01-17-2014 09:32 AM

Find activities you enjoy and join a group. Like to walk? Join a walking/hiking club? Biking club. Book club. Dog training club (like an obedience club .. dog-oriented people and reduced prices on classes!). Volunteer. Not sure of age but a good church that has many activities for each age group is another way.

You're probably not doing anything wrong, but sometimes it's hard to connect with someone that you would actually befriend. You need to have things in common to build on. I never worry about friends (I'm friendly with people at work but only want to do things with my husband and my family).

kiya 01-17-2014 09:47 AM

Your not alone, I have a hard time making friends. That's ok sometimes friends can cause heart ache. I remember when I was young hearing my mom complain that so and so was too wrapped up in their own world with no time for anyone. I hate to say I am wrapped up in my own world with no time. Between working full time, taking care of the house, critters and hubby finding time for me is tuff so when do I squeeze in friends? Maybe that's how I justify it in my own mind.

Lilie 01-17-2014 10:03 AM

Listen. Everybody needs someone who'll listen to them.

My husband is the type of person who knows no strangers. It doesn't matter where he is at, he is the person in the center of the group. All he does is ask a simple question. Even something simple like "have you ordered that before?" or "how do you like that truck?" and I know I need to sit back down....this is going to take a while.

LaRen616 01-17-2014 10:13 AM

I have 4 best friends that I have been friends with for 10-18 years, I met them when I was in preschool/high school and stayed friends with them.

I have met some good friends since I started working at a hospital (7 years now! :wild:)

I don't really care to make new friends but I wish that I lived closer to some of the members on this forum like Lilie, DJEtzel, Bianca and this girl that owns a sibling of my Draco, they all seem like people I would want to hang out with. :)

LaRen616 01-17-2014 10:15 AM

You need to meet people that have similar interests as you.

Why don't you make a thread asking if there is anyone on the forum close to you that would like to hang out or have a doggy play date?

kiya 01-17-2014 10:24 AM

Lillie my husband is the exact same way, strike up a conversation with any one about any thing. He makes enough friends for both of us.

Shade 01-17-2014 10:33 AM

I agree with joining groups of similar interests. It's a great place to start, friendship is about balancing your needs and the needs of the friend so finding a good fit can be hard. I have lots of "friends" but my circle of actual true friends is very small but tight knit, we're family

Start small and work your way up, it can be hard to open yourself to new people but it does pay off most of the time :)


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