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Zeusismydog 01-04-2014 01:23 PM

RIP James Robert Adams
 
On Jan 2 2014 I found out my son, James Robert Adams, died. He was only 22 y.o. I thought my life was hard enough, dealing with depression and other health issues, but I found out that that is nothing when your kid dies. I keep asking WHY? My ex is being spiteful and nasty. Oh I know he is hurting but so am I. I keep thinking it isn't real. That it is a bad nightmare and I will wake up. It has to be a mistake. Then I remember the officer coming to the door. I just keep thinking that I will hear James voice or see a post by him on facebook or something. I keep thinking please don't let this be real. People keep asking me what they can do. People say they are keeping me in their prayers. I am trying not to be hateful and say God didn't keep James safe. I am trying to understand what I did so wrong that I am being punished this way. He was so young. He had his whole life ahead of him. I am trying to remember that there is a reason to go on. I can't forget that I was just wondering how his life was going to be in 5, 10 years. I was hoping for a girlfriend for him. A good job. It can't be real. It just can't.

I am just sitting here not knowing what to do. I missed the medical examiners call so I have to wait till monday to find out why he died. I don't even have the money to bury him. I can't get in touch with his dad so I don't know what he has planned. James and I talked about that I wanted to be cremated and he said he wanted that to. I don't know if he really meant it or he was just agreeing with me. Craig's (his father) mother won't give me Craigs phone number so I can't even call him.

I am sorry for going on and on. I am just shocked and hurting beyond what I thought was possible. I am trying not to let anyone who knew him fall through the cracks. Everyone who meet him loved him. At this point I don't even know if there will be a funeral. I will try and keep everyone posted. If you need to get hold of me my email is akaangela@hotmail.com.

I know some of you knew James and loved him and I am sorry not to contact you each indivudually. I am just not thinking straight right now and am trying to cover all of our friends. If there is a funeral (and if I am invited) I will post it here so those of you who want to come can. If there isn't I plan on having a get to geather to memorize him and all he meant to all of us. Thank you for all your support.

LaRen616 01-04-2014 01:31 PM

I am so incredibly sorry for the loss of your son. I absolutely cannot imagine. My heart is broken for you.

My sister passed away when she was 15 years old, what really helped my mom with her loss was staying close with my sister's friends, she watched them grow up and start their own families and it really helped my mom.

I am just so very, very sorry. :cry:

Talk about him, share stories and memories, don't keep it in, surround yourself with the people that you love, lean on them. Celebrate his life.

Jax08 01-04-2014 01:36 PM

I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost a brother when he was 18. All those years ahead of him and he was the best of us. After many years it's still unfathomable that he's gone. No words can appropriately express my sorrow for you.

Lauren said it best
"Talk about him, share stories and memories, don't keep it in, surround yourself with the people that you love, lean on them. Celebrate his life."

Zeusismydog 01-04-2014 02:08 PM

Thank you
 
The one thing I am very greatful for is that I let him convince me to go down to my dads and my grandmas for Christmas. I didn't really want to go but he asked and I couldn't turn him down. We spent the 23rd and christmas eve with family and then I took him over to his dads mothers house. His dad got to spend his birthday and a few days after Christmas with him.

<sigh> I get to this point and my mind just blanks out. Thank you for your good thoughts. It means a lot to me. Maybe in time I can write some more. I just keep thinking it can't be real.

BellaLuna 01-04-2014 02:18 PM

I am so incredibly sorry for the loss of your son. I have three young children and the very thought of ever losing one of them is just unimaginable to me. My heart breaks for you and your family at this horrible time.

May you remember him and all the good memories you shared.

Once again my deepest condolences :(

Loneforce 01-04-2014 02:23 PM

I am sorry for the loss of your son :( I could not even imagine what you are going through. Very, very sad to say the least.


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