Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: California's Central Coast
Adult Step-son issue - need advice and to vent (non-gsd)
My husband has a son from a previous marriage who is in his late 30's and single. Owns his own home and bought a second for an investment, but I don't know if he still has the 2nd home. The income he states he makes is greater than ours. Two Christmases ago my husband gave him a car, a Toyota Coupe worth about $8000-$9000. The son is an outside sales rep, drives a lot and the Honda my husband gave him a few years back was starting to have issues, it was a bit junky, but ran well and got good mileage. Whenever my husband would see his son ( a few times a year) he would always ask, "how is the car running?". After learning about the Honda, my husband thought this Toyota we owned would be good for his son's job, it got good gas mileage, had low miles, and my daughter and I did not like to drive it. Before the son got the car, we also paid to have some body work done to fix a hit and run dent.
At first I did not really care about giving him the car (of course getting money for it would have been better) but my husband works hard and if it pleased him to give a gift like this, I should respect this request.
Last year I learned that the son had another car he never mentioned to us, a nice BMW worth $18,000. I found out by accident. A friend was throwing a surprise party for my husband and wanted his son's phone number to invite him, I realized I didn't have it, it was programmed on my husband's cell phone and I could not ask for it without giving away the surprise. So I did a quick online search and found the son's phone number in an online add to sell the BMW. I'm not sure if my husband would have given the Toyota to his son knowing he had a luxury car available for use. I did not tell my husband about the BMW until recently when I heard the son was looking to borrow money from a relative, my husband seemed a little hurt by this.
Do you think the son was deceptive in not mentioning he had the BMW? When I give things, I like to give with no strings attached. But because of the value of this gift I am feeling resentful that the son was given something he really did not need, but was obviously nice to have. I'm trying to get over my resentment and hoping some of your perspectives on this situation may help.