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Old 02-22-2013, 04:12 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Any idea how to work in my "tone"

I notice I do this with coworkers a lot when I start to get annoyed, the tone in my voice visibly gets pissed off. I mean, I am getting PO'd, but - I want to be able to control it externally better.

Anyone else face the same?
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Old 02-22-2013, 04:17 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I have the same issue, and recognize it but the harder I try to control it the more angry I get. If you find a "cure" let me know.
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Old 02-22-2013, 04:40 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Not meaning to sound New Agy but meditation twice a day calms you down. Try it, it works and people are kinder to you.
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Old 02-22-2013, 04:43 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Hmmm....OP - may I ask how old (ish) are you?
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Old 02-22-2013, 06:27 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Lilie View Post
Hmmm....OP - may I ask how old (ish) are you?
Almost 31

I get more frustrated when people who should know what is being discussed don't
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Old 02-22-2013, 06:56 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Smith3 View Post
Almost 31

I get more frustrated when people who should know what is being discussed don't
Just wanted to make sure you weren't going through some changes in your life..getting 'older'..

I find it helps me, to actually repeat what the other person said in a quiet tone before I respond. I force a quiet tone, repeating what the other person said gives me a chance to gather my thoughts and not poke them in the eye.

If you are discussing a specific process - (for this example, I'll make it easy) changing the sheets. The person you are speaking to hasn't been changing the sheets because they 'say' they weren't aware there was a process in place.

I'll say, "The sheets haven't been changed because you weren't aware there was a process in place for changing the sheets?"

They'll respond, either with a simple answer or an attempt to justify why they haven't been following the process. This gives you a chance to NOT poke them in the eye and control your tone.

Sometimes, it really helps to have a few extra moments to gather your thoughts to get control of your emotions.
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Old 02-22-2013, 08:50 PM   #7 (permalink)
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This is so interesting! Really good of you to notice it.

Practice is one way - like muscle memory your body will respond better when it's had practice.

Love the repeating back to them (though I had a boss who would say "I hear you saying..." all the time to everyone - I thought it was a good idea but people went nuts about it).

Anyone you can practice with in a role play? I know how popular that is, but it works, I swear!
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Old 02-22-2013, 09:59 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Any idea how to work in my "tone"

Try talking with a funny voice. It makes us both laugh and decharges the situation.


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Old 02-22-2013, 11:43 PM   #9 (permalink)
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This is so interesting! Really good of you to notice it.

Practice is one way - like muscle memory your body will respond better when it's had practice.

Love the repeating back to them (though I had a boss who would say "I hear you saying..." all the time to everyone - I thought it was a good idea but people went nuts about it).

Anyone you can practice with in a role play? I know how popular that is, but it works, I swear!
I am very cognizant of it, and sometimes it happens with my wife (I am not mean, i just get annoyed at times). It is something I do want to work on, because I am getting annoyed for what I find isn't a valid reason.

I know it mostly revolves around stress. I started the gym again today, hopefully that helps me get the stress part under control.
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Old 02-22-2013, 11:44 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilie View Post
Just wanted to make sure you weren't going through some changes in your life..getting 'older'..

I find it helps me, to actually repeat what the other person said in a quiet tone before I respond. I force a quiet tone, repeating what the other person said gives me a chance to gather my thoughts and not poke them in the eye.

If you are discussing a specific process - (for this example, I'll make it easy) changing the sheets. The person you are speaking to hasn't been changing the sheets because they 'say' they weren't aware there was a process in place.

I'll say, "The sheets haven't been changed because you weren't aware there was a process in place for changing the sheets?"

They'll respond, either with a simple answer or an attempt to justify why they haven't been following the process. This gives you a chance to NOT poke them in the eye and control your tone.

Sometimes, it really helps to have a few extra moments to gather your thoughts to get control of your emotions.
oh plenty of changes! full time job and a side business that is beginning to take off, managing time is getting difficult for me.

but good feedback!
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