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Old 02-10-2013, 06:10 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Considering a big move..

I moved to KW about 10 years ago when I started University. I left my whole family behind and in the last 10 years A LOT has changed... but... the feeling of wanting to be a part of that community (the one I despised as a teenager...lol) grows stronger and stronger as I get older.

I have always felt like I was the country girl living in the city, never truly part of the culture here. I have met some amazing people (especially my best friend (Wild Wolf and her family) and have learned a lot.. but I almost feel like it's time to go back "home".

With that said, I am totally at a lost as to what I want to do.. I have a great education, job and friends here and feel like the opportunities in this city are far greater than anything back home (small farming town).

I know that if I return home, I will be taking a loss in income as well as position in my career just because there are not as many opportunities in the small towns/city that present themselves in this area.

Yes, I went to school, received a great education but I do not love what I went to school for and do not have the drive to make those degrees work for me in the way that I need too. I prefer to work a steady job, with good pay and come home and enjoy doing things that I love.

If I stay out here in the job I am in, I will continue working 80+ hours at a job that requires a lot of work and energy (I am in a management role and responsible for others). The pay is great but I do not have time or energy to enjoy the paychecks or my down time because I am exhausted at the end of the week. Even my days off are not truly days off since I usually have to run into work or answer phone calls on my off hours or do paperwork that I wasn't able to get too during my "working hours".

My family is small now; just my father, my two sisters and my step mother.. I do have cousins out where I live now but we do not see one another often (maybe a few times per year due to work and school). I miss them and I miss being a part of their lives. My father has a back injury and is unable to travel to see us regularly and with my work schedule we usually only see one another once or twice per year. I miss that relationship.

I also miss the feeling of community and my small town life and worries. I use to hate the small town way of life but as I get older and older I miss it more than I thought. When I visit, I feel "home" and when I am in the city, I feel as though I am still 'visiting'.

I am very torn... I guess I am looking to see if anyone has been in the same position as me in the past, what you did to finally make a decision one way or the other?

I know I am the only one who can make this choice but I am really not sure what to do... or how to make that decision yet.

Sorry for the vent.. lol.
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Old 02-10-2013, 06:17 PM   #2 (permalink)
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big decision - maybe the two sisters are dying to leave small town and join you in Kitchener Waterloo area. If you leave the job , and things don't work out back home what is the chance of you recovering the type of job and that type of income. Maybe more time should be spent to forge strong friendships where you are ?
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Old 02-10-2013, 06:24 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I think it really depends on the lifestyle you want. I thought I loved the fast pace world until I matured some and found the simpler slower life is better. I'd rather work 40 hours with less income and actually live than 80 hours with higher $ and no time for anything(unless it was a time-frame goal setting situation)

I would look at where the best dog clubs are, LOL and go from there!
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Old 02-10-2013, 06:28 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I have one sister living with me here in KW - she is working and attending school. Plans to return home when her degree is finished.

My other sister is thriving in the city just outside of my home town (Windsor).

As for my current career.. I have proven myself enough and am enough of an asset to the company that I may return at my same rate of pay and place in the company should things not work out back home.

I am definitely not a 'do and think' type person. I like to plan out everything before hand and have an answer for all questions/doubts before I make the leap.

I would not leave or move until I have something lined up... so definitely just in the "thinking things through" arena right now.

As for the friendships.. I believe I have a very strong community behind me here. Very supportive and feel as though I have family here for sure. It's just different than your blood family, you know?

Ideally I would pack everyone up and move back to my home town... lol.

I think THAT is the biggest thing keeping me here, is my relationships with those around me.. and maybe if I am honest... the only thing keeping me here at times....
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Old 02-10-2013, 06:30 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by onyx'girl View Post
I think it really depends on the lifestyle you want. I thought I loved the fast pace world until I matured some and found the simpler slower life is better. I'd rather work 40 hours with less income and actually live than 80 hours with higher $ and no time for anything(unless it was a time-frame goal setting situation)

I would look at where the best dog clubs are, LOL and go from there!
That is kinda sorta exactly my feelings... LOL

I thought the big paychecks would make me happy - and they did - in a way - but they also made me very lonely... no time for others or what I enjoy doing.. yes, I had the money but I didn't have the time.. even my 1 week vacation was had on the phone with work and drowning in paperwork...

And LOL at the dog club thing... lol.
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Old 02-10-2013, 07:12 PM   #6 (permalink)
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i would go home and be happy, but i am a small town person.
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Old 02-10-2013, 08:02 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I had kind of the opposite happen to me (but still very similar)

I grew up in the suburbs right by a large city. I hated it growing up. I spent as much time as I could away from it by spending all my time hiking, kayaking, and at the barn with the horses. I was "weird" to all my fellow classmates, and felt like an outcast.

When college started, I moved to the northern part of the state. Other then the school... it was all farm land, and forests. A very quiet, clean, and a traditional southern town. I fell in love. I was surrounded by the horse world.... western, trail, eventing, jumpers, hunters, fox hunting at huge estates, racing, etc. I mean, literally everything you could think of. I was at an awesome university there, had a great job at the best equestrian center I've ever been to... working with imported warmbloods, wild mustangs for the Mustang Makeover, learning about the breeding world of horses, also helping with sales horses. In return, I had one of the best mentors and trainers here in the US. I felt like I was in the right place... I fit in. People were actually like me. A fun time for them was a bonfire out in the woods with a few good friends... or a trail ride down at the national forest. Not shopping at the mall, or going to get drunk at the clubs downtown. I was living life very comfortable and felt accomplished.

Well.... a few years later... I got hit with the "home" bug. Felt I needed to move back. I missed my family, friends, my boyfriend at the time was back home, I had my dogs at home.... and I felt like I missed the town. I spent 18 years there. No doubt it was "home". My yearning to be "home" again made this city seem WAY more then it really was to me. I remembered all the good (magnified them), and forgot the bad.

So I packed my stuff and moved back in a hurry... leaving everything I had worked so hard for behind. It was great for about a year. After that, I would have given anything to go back to my college town. I visited every few months, and literally would break down watching the town pass me as I traveled back home. I felt like part of me was still there, and every time I left it was being ripped away from me again. I hate this city, I don't like the people, the traffic, the crime (even though we live in a great area... there are still people who cause trouble), and the "go go go!" lifestyle makes me miserable. I can't stop to enjoy life, or a car ride... there's barely any land here for trails or farms, owning horses is nearly impossible here... and yet again, I'm the "outcast" at work and with friends. However, between the house here that we own, and my SO's career.... we are stuck here. So I'm trying to just learn to live with it.

With your situation, I would definitely say make sure it's not just the "home" bug getting you, and that you truly want to be there for your happiness. From what it sounds though, you're like me..... I know I am happier in a small town out in the country.... even if it would mean I would lose some money and take a cut in my job, I would. In a heartbeat! If I was in your situation, I would move back and leave the city life behind. Happiness is the most important IMO.

Good luck with your decision!
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Old 02-10-2013, 08:13 PM   #8 (permalink)
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I don't know what your field of work is but could you possibly find a comparable position in London? That would get you a lot closer to your family but still give you the challenges and the salary that are appropriate for someone with your education. You worked very hard for those degrees and it would be great to leverage them into a career you enjoy but that still gives you a life of your own. My son and his wife did all their degrees in London, have a home there and both work for the university in different capacities. The housing prices are much more reasonable and the lifestyle is more laid back than KW or Toronto, where my son grew up. It sounds more like the job is sucking the life out of you and a change there would make you happier all around.
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Old 02-10-2013, 10:07 PM   #9 (permalink)
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I've never made a huge move because we decided against it. I'm a "work to live" person not a "live to work" person. My job is just a job. Other than the fact I've done it for ten years and thus feel some loyalty and friendship towards my co-workers, my job doesn't mean much to me other than a way to pay my bills, meet our needs, and give me the means to do what I enjoy with dogs. I definitely appreciate that I work from 8-5 and go home at 5 without taking work with me. I have a normal schedule with weekends to myself for dog training and events. My husband and I originally wanted to do a huge move just for a change, but decided against it because all of the other places that interested us were too remote and/or had a much higher cost of living so we'd basically be house-poor. We stayed where we are with a low cost of living and live in a city. I like being inside the city but not a huge expensive metropolis like NYC. We both love Chicago and my husband's parents are there so we go there a lot for a day or weekend. With my experience and credentials I could easily make twice what I do but in some of those places the cost to buy a home would also be double or triple.
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Old 02-10-2013, 10:33 PM   #10 (permalink)
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I've never made a move like you're considering. There's an old saying, YOU CAN'T GO HOME AGAIN, I don't know if it's true or not, but have heard it from many people who tried to go home!!!

Would your employer give you a leave of absence, maybe 6 months to a year, for you to go home and see how you like it? If you're happy you could turn in your resignation, if you find it's not like it used to be, you could return to your current life.

Best wishes with whatever you decide to do and PLEASE keep us updated as to your decision and how you're doing with it!!!
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