Considering a big move..

[elisabeth_00117]

Originally Posted by TrickyShepherd

I had kind of the opposite happen to me (but still very similar)

I grew up in the suburbs right by a large city. I hated it growing up. I spent as much time as I could away from it by spending all my time hiking, kayaking, and at the barn with the horses. I was "weird" to all my fellow classmates, and felt like an outcast.

When college started, I moved to the northern part of the state. Other then the school... it was all farm land, and forests. A very quiet, clean, and a traditional southern town. I fell in love. I was surrounded by the horse world.... western, trail, eventing, jumpers, hunters, fox hunting at huge estates, racing, etc. I mean, literally everything you could think of. I was at an awesome university there, had a great job at the best equestrian center I've ever been to... working with imported warmbloods, wild mustangs for the Mustang Makeover, learning about the breeding world of horses, also helping with sales horses. In return, I had one of the best mentors and trainers here in the US. I felt like I was in the right place... I fit in. People were actually like me. A fun time for them was a bonfire out in the woods with a few good friends... or a trail ride down at the national forest. Not shopping at the mall, or going to get drunk at the clubs downtown. I was living life very comfortable and felt accomplished.

Well.... a few years later... I got hit with the "home" bug. Felt I needed to move back. I missed my family, friends, my boyfriend at the time was back home, I had my dogs at home.... and I felt like I missed the town. I spent 18 years there. No doubt it was "home". My yearning to be "home" again made this city seem WAY more then it really was to me. I remembered all the good (magnified them), and forgot the bad.

So I packed my stuff and moved back in a hurry... leaving everything I had worked so hard for behind. It was great for about a year. After that, I would have given anything to go back to my college town. I visited every few months, and literally would break down watching the town pass me as I traveled back home. I felt like part of me was still there, and every time I left it was being ripped away from me again. I hate this city, I don't like the people, the traffic, the crime (even though we live in a great area... there are still people who cause trouble), and the "go go go!" lifestyle makes me miserable. I can't stop to enjoy life, or a car ride... there's barely any land here for trails or farms, owning horses is nearly impossible here... and yet again, I'm the "outcast" at work and with friends. However, between the house here that we own, and my SO's career.... we are stuck here. So I'm trying to just learn to live with it.

With your situation, I would definitely say make sure it's not just the "home" bug getting you, and that you truly want to be there for your happiness. From what it sounds though, you're like me..... I know I am happier in a small town out in the country.... even if it would mean I would lose some money and take a cut in my job, I would. In a heartbeat! If I was in your situation, I would move back and leave the city life behind. Happiness is the most important IMO.

Good luck with your decision!

Thank you for that... definitely what I was looking for...

[elisabeth_00117]

Originally Posted by Quinnsmom

I don't know what your field of work is but could you possibly find a comparable position in London? That would get you a lot closer to your family but still give you the challenges and the salary that are appropriate for someone with your education. You worked very hard for those degrees and it would be great to leverage them into a career you enjoy but that still gives you a life of your own. My son and his wife did all their degrees in London, have a home there and both work for the university in different capacities. The housing prices are much more reasonable and the lifestyle is more laid back than KW or Toronto, where my son grew up. It sounds more like the job is sucking the life out of you and a change there would make you happier all around.

If I were to move to London, I would still be in the same position I am now.. I would still be 2 hours away (without traffic) from my home town.. It's only about an hour or less closer than I am now.

My job is not bad, it's a lot of responsibility and definitely eats up my time but it's a good job and the pay is good as well.

I have been to London (did a 3 month stay there for a job in University) and to me it still feels like I am in the city.. same feel as KW.. yes, a bit cheaper but not much.

[elisabeth_00117]

Originally Posted by Liesje

I've never made a huge move because we decided against it. I'm a "work to live" person not a "live to work" person. My job is just a job. Other than the fact I've done it for ten years and thus feel some loyalty and friendship towards my co-workers, my job doesn't mean much to me other than a way to pay my bills, meet our needs, and give me the means to do what I enjoy with dogs. I definitely appreciate that I work from 8-5 and go home at 5 without taking work with me. I have a normal schedule with weekends to myself for dog training and events. My husband and I originally wanted to do a huge move just for a change, but decided against it because all of the other places that interested us were too remote and/or had a much higher cost of living so we'd basically be house-poor. We stayed where we are with a low cost of living and live in a city. I like being inside the city but not a huge expensive metropolis like NYC. We both love Chicago and my husband's parents are there so we go there a lot for a day or weekend. With my experience and credentials I could easily make twice what I do but in some of those places the cost to buy a home would also be double or triple.

This is kinda what I want... a good job... work my hours, go home and enjoy doing what I want to do.. probably 99.9% of the time with the dogs.. lol.

I want to be able to purchase a house and property without taking on a HUGE mortgage (a small house with property in KW goes for almost 3x's the amount that more property would get me in my home town). I want to be able to live comfortably, pay my bills, and just enjoy my down time.

Living in KW, with the job that I have... that will not happen.

[elisabeth_00117]

Originally Posted by arycrest

I've never made a move like you're considering. There's an old saying, YOU CAN'T GO HOME AGAIN, I don't know if it's true or not, but have heard it from many people who tried to go home!!!

Would your employer give you a leave of absence, maybe 6 months to a year, for you to go home and see how you like it? If you're happy you could turn in your resignation, if you find it's not like it used to be, you could return to your current life.

Best wishes with whatever you decide to do and PLEASE keep us updated as to your decision and how you're doing with it!!!

Yes, there is the possibility of that and I am not sure if my position would be available but I do know that I would have a job after that.. possibly not at the current location but I know they would take me back.

Definitely something to think about..

I just feel that at my age (27) I need to finally do what I want and settle down... I am tired of doing "what I should" and not "what I want". I know that is a bit selfish, but I am single and don't have any other obligations other than helping my youngest sister so I feel like at this point in my life, I can be selfish a bit.

[Cheyanna]

You can be selfish. No one else is going to put you first. About moving back home, it has changed and so have you, so your fondness may simply be the grass is greener. I know that the money is good, but no one ever says on their deathbed, I wish I had earned more money. I have traded in making lots of money for a comfortable lifestyle. Sometimes more money would be nice, but I have got it pretty good with free time to do the things I want instead of have to do. I guess what I am trying to say is that money isn't everything. If God, fate, destiny or whatever you believe wants you to go home, it will be easy. Easy finding a job, easy finding a good place to live, etc.


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[Lucy Dog]

The best advice I can give you is... do what makes YOU happy. People waste their lives doing what's "expected" of them and they're just not happy or really content. Is what you're doing now really what makes you happy?

Ever see the movie trainspotting? The final scene where the main character lists off all of the things in life that's expected of him to do by society. How he's going to change and do all those things, but really it's not who he is at all. Not comparing you to any of the characters in that movie!! Just that last scene kind of reminds me of this thread and what you're saying.

Find what makes you happy and do it.

[elisabeth_00117]

Thanks everyone - very much appreciated.

I think the first step is to see what career opportunities are out that way... start putting my name out there to see what comes around..

I don't mind taking a pay cut, or even going to a lower position but I definitely need to make a certain amount of money in order to be able to live comfortably... especially with those darn student loans to pay back!

So, anyone know of any sites to look up jobs?

Workopolis
Monster
Kijiji
Indeed
Service Canada/Ontario

Any other suggestions? I have always gotten my jobs by the old method - grab a handful of resumes and start walking and talking!

[JakodaCD OA]

I also say do what makes you happy.

Being from a small town myself, I think of it this way, I don't make a ton of money, I probably could elsewhere, but my family is all here, and when they are gone they are gone for good..

[elisabeth_00117]

Originally Posted by JakodaCD OA

I also say do what makes you happy.

Being from a small town myself, I think of it this way, I don't make a ton of money, I probably could elsewhere, but my family is all here, and when they are gone they are gone for good..

True, so true.

My father (and stepmother whom I love) is all I have left besides my two younger sisters.. my grandpa who raised us passed almost 2 years ago and so only being able to see my one sister and father once a year or twice a year..... it's starting to take it's toll on me... as much as they both get on my nerves...LOL... I love them and feel like at this point in my life, I want them in my life more again.

[Kaity]

"home is home, even if it's dirt"

I live 20-30 minute drive from my regular city, a hub close to everything.. grew up in the citys 'ghetto' - moved to a highrise full of dealers and escorts, people getting stabbed in the parkade but you know what? I still feel more at ease, even thinking about overlooking certain views of the city being surrounded by people with problems, than I do living in a place where I'm probably 90% safe going out at night with or without my dogs.

You belong where you belong. Sometimes we just don't adapt to certain things. I grew up going to a popular steakhouse restaurant, more on the expensive side. I like finer things, wines, different dining.. My boyfriend doesn't feel comfortable at these places because he feels as though he doesn't have enough class to be there. He's lived here with me for almost two years, moving back and forth from the city and the boonies over the past 7 years.

Although there is more opportunity here, I think we'd both rather be in the boonies..