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Old 12-30-2012, 08:29 AM   #31 (permalink)
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I really hope there are other issues going on that would cause this. I'm not military, but coming from the police side of things, not everyone is cut out to be a SGT. I think it's great that he made it through the process to even get the promotion in the first place, and losing the position does not make him a bad person. Of course, this all depends on exactly what was occuring to lose the position. But it is a small percentage of people that can take that on, it's not just a matter of "well if you have X years on you should be able to do it."

I am sorry things are so rough, but I think it's really harsh to put your dogs above your husband and consider leaving him and the country just to keep them. He is a human, he is your family. I don't understand considering them family, but not him, at all. I love my dogs dearly, but I would adopt every last one of them out if there was a financial situation where we couldn't afford to make ends meet and the dogs were the deal breaker budget wise. That said, we have one son and another on the way, so perhaps my priorities are different at this point in my life. We just spent a ton of $$ on them yesterday for food for the month and other supplies. They are expensive, even on normal dog food and shopping around for the best prices on supplies. I understand rehoming them in your situation. I do not understand being so resentful of the situation that you'd leave your husband over it. A lot of people, unmarried or in unhappy/unhealthy relationships may SAY they would leave their spouse over rehoming a dog, but I just don't believe those are truely happy, healthy realtionships if one is willing to put an animal over a human. Which is why I'm assuming there must be more to this story??

As far as working vs staying at home, it is certainly no ones business but I am not sure I've ever understood why you stay at home and don't work since you two don't have kids? I think it's time to pick up at least a parttime job, they definitely don't all require schooling/training, but yes you'll have to figure out transportation. Do you have public transportation in your area? I'd look into that. With all your dog experience, I wouldn't count on a specialized line of work but at the very least you could look into the local kennels, doggie daycares, etc. Generally, they just want manual labor and some dog experience.

Does the military offer any kind of in house therapy? Couples, individual, etc? Our dept contracts through an agency that offers it. It is not reported back to the department, so you can speak freely about issues you may be having, department related or otherwise. Couples can attend as well, even when the spouse isn't on the department. Surely the military has something similar?

Oh, regarding child support - if he's had a major adjustment in pay, then you two need to go back to court to readjust the child support that he is paying. The amount is based on what he makes. It's unfortunate for the child, so hopefully the childs mother can step up and cover what she is going to lose in child support, but if it means the difference between paying the mortgage for you two or not, then it's worth looking into.

Last edited by Rerun; 12-30-2012 at 08:34 AM.
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Old 12-30-2012, 09:01 AM   #32 (permalink)
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In my area there are always jobs available at the county schools and homes for the mentally and physically handicapped. These are tough jobs but have insurance benefits through the state for fulltime employees. The other option that is usually hiring is housekeeping or kitchens at local hospitals. These may not be the best paying jobs but they are stable long term jobs.
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Old 12-30-2012, 11:00 AM   #33 (permalink)
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check craigslist there are LOTS of jobs for watertown NY listed,

Now adays, one can't depend on their husbands/wives to pay the bills by themselves tho it's nice if they can.

I'm one of those that pays for everything for my animals, once in awhile my husband will throw in a few bucks, but I work to pay for my animals.

It would be a cold day in he double hockey sticks, before I'd get rid of my animals because my husband did something stupid (I don't have kids so I don't have to worry about another human being ,,I'd be out there doing what I had to do to survive .

Good luck to you, maybe returning to Germany would be the best thing since your family lives there and you'd hopefully have a good support system.
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Old 12-30-2012, 11:09 AM   #34 (permalink)
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Is moving an option? I'm not familiar with your area but I think some of the lowest costs of living are west Michigan, North Carolina, and areas of Texas. I definitely live where I live because of cost of living. It's something middle class people have to deal with and does limit our options (I'd rather not live here all my life) but at the same time I like a certain lifestyle so living in cheaper areas means I'm not house-poor or car-poor all the time.

For the moment I would halt going to training to save money but not give up dogs. I frequently take several weeks or even months off of training. I have to travel 2.5-3 hours one way. It costs me almost $100 just to go to SchH training once a month and if I want to attend our weekend events I have to get a hotel, and this is in the same state I live in. This is why I've joined flyball. It would not have been my first or even third choice of dog sport but it is cheap and local, and when I do travel I often carpool and share the hotel room.

Right now I would try to tackle one thing at a time and focus on one day at a time. The big picture certainly looks bleak and daunting but a lot of people are in this situation every day. If your husband is throwing his career and marriage away and not willing to help then you'll have to decide whether to move on without him. I'm not saying divorce but if you want to keep your dogs and your house, take on any work. I work 8am-5pm M-F and then I do side jobs on nights and evenings. My husband doesn't mind my dogs but it's up to me to make sure I can afford them. I go through cycles of taking on extra projects to pay for things I need for training or trial entries, or taking time off training when I don't have the disposable income.
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Old 12-30-2012, 11:15 AM   #35 (permalink)
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Here is an ad from a kennel in Cuyler for a breeding facility. Looks legit looked up number and it is a rottweiler breeder. House including. Need kennel help. and your training background may help. Now it is Dec 4 so possibly filled but maybe not and you never know. Other folks you have trained with may have contacts. It may not be much money but a place to live....probably where you could keep your own dogs....and it looks like they compete.

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Old 12-30-2012, 11:56 AM   #36 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs.K View Post
However, my sister wants to ship them all back to Germany, except for MaDeuce, and foster them until I can leave the country (Greencard Process).

.
If your family is willing to do this, would they be willing to borrow you money to get into your own place? I understand exactly where you are. I have lost everything because of a man(years ago)...I lost my job, my home, and my dogs. I vowed that would NEVER happen again and it only made me stronger. Sometimes I didn't know how things would ever get better, but they did. It comes from YOU...you will find strength and knowledge in order to survive. Good Luck to you.
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Old 12-30-2012, 11:57 AM   #37 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jocoyn View Post
Here is an ad from a kennel in Cuyler for a breeding facility. Looks legit looked up number and it is a rottweiler breeder. House including. Need kennel help. and your training background may help. Now it is Dec 4 so possibly filled but maybe not and you never know. Other folks you have trained with may have contacts. It may not be much money but a place to live....probably where you could keep your own dogs....and it looks like they compete.

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Old 12-30-2012, 12:18 PM   #38 (permalink)
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I am sorry you're going through this! I'm glad you stopped and thought before rehoming more than one dog.

I agree with Lies- cheapest living is in west Michigan! Move over here!
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Old 12-30-2012, 12:42 PM   #39 (permalink)
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Watertown is a pretty darn cheap city to live in...
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Old 12-30-2012, 07:02 PM   #40 (permalink)
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You don't have to go from a sgt income to a spc income. You have two incomes and don't pay child support in Euros. You did not have a totaled car and make back payments on top of the child support to the German Child support center because he was in Korea during the child birth. With the exchange as it is you have no idea how much that actually hurts but he is his child and he deserves to be taken care about. So don't give me "Watertown is pretty darn cheap to live in."
For us it is NOT cheap. People do take advantage of the military and if they can, they will suck every cent you have, out of you!

IF he can stay in we may have to move on post and rent out the house and we cannot move on post with four dogs.

She will have a job, she will be a working dog and do what she loves. I love this dog, I brought her up and trained her but I have to do what I have to do. It broke my heart to leave her. in the end, it was the right decision.
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