Dealing with people you hate during the holidays

[cptduke]

So... at the risk of sounding like a huge jerk.. I HATE my sisters fiance. I have the bigger house so family get-togethers happen here and I don't want him in my house anymore!! I know I can't say he is uninvited but every time he comes over I just want to punch him in the face.. with a chair.

A few months ago he caused a huge ridiculous fight in our family because he's a manipulative sob.. but ever since has been polite and kind.

Yesterday they came over for a couple minutes, he was playing with the pups, told them both to sit, my dog sat instantly and the foster pup did nothing. Then he tells them to speak, my dog listened and the foster pup did nothing. Then he tells them to shake and they both did. Then he goes off about how my dog is not very well behaved and the foster dog is a better dog.

I'm on the verge of a major 'tell him what I really think using mostly the F word' moment... and he's going to be in my house again tomorrow. With the whole family. Bah!

[qbchottu]

Drink a nice tall glass of eggnog (or your favorite relaxing spirit) and relax with your family/pets. Life is too short to get upset over knuckle draggers like this. Limit your interaction with him and it'll all be over before you know it. Don't allow him to dampen your holidays - you are giving him too much power/credit when you allow him to interfere with your happiness and holidays.

[msvette2u]

I had a bro. in law I loathed. "Had" being the operative word...she finally saw the light!!!
Anyway- I remember the one year he walked up to me and flat out says "Hey, why don't you like me???"
I said "Why, whatever makes you think I don't like you?" with a smile on my face, and walked away.

Just try. That's all you can do, for the sake of family

[Gretchen]

No you are not a jerk, I was thinking about posting something like this myself. It seems ironic on the few days of the year when you should get a break and be the happiest are sometimes the times of the most frustration.

Every Christmas my husband's son from a previous marriage come over, he is almost 40. He seldom communicates with my husband during the year, no cards or phone calls. He is not a jerk, he is nice overall, but materialistic and greedy and not fully honest. These are traits are opposite of me. Two years ago my husband gave him our used car, it still had a $10,000 value, because his son said he needed a more reliable car with good gas mileage for work. I know when you give something you should not except anything in return and we did not. Recently I found out the son had a BMW car worth $17,000 at that time and never told my husband.

So all we can do is repeat a little mantra in our head that we will be nice and say only pleasant things today, and to forgive is divine. I wish you a happy holiday and hope there is peace at your home.

[DTS]

We have many problems with both sides of our family. We try and be polite as possible and if we just can't take it anymore we have a code word lol.. "Mistletoe"... Then we just say were going to go ahead and go. Now we don't normally have people over because we live in an apartment and even if we didn't people barely come over anyways..
Have you ever seen the movie four Christmases?

[holland]

Originally Posted by cptduke

So... at the risk of sounding like a huge jerk.. I HATE my sisters fiance. I have the bigger house so family get-togethers happen here and I don't want him in my house anymore!! I know I can't say he is uninvited but every time he comes over I just want to punch him in the face.. with a chair.

A few months ago he caused a huge ridiculous fight in our family because he's a manipulative sob.. but ever since has been polite and kind.

Yesterday they came over for a couple minutes, he was playing with the pups, told them both to sit, my dog sat instantly and the foster pup did nothing. Then he tells them to speak, my dog listened and the foster pup did nothing. Then he tells them to shake and they both did. Then he goes off about how my dog is not very well behaved and the foster dog is a better dog.

I'm on the verge of a major 'tell him what I really think using mostly the F word' moment... and he's going to be in my house again tomorrow. With the whole family. Bah!

Been there done that at a family reunion 3 years ago when my uncle who has not owned a dog in my lifetime-ok 1 for a short period of time and they may have given him away to a good home-decided to give me unsolicitated dog training advice and then I offered him my opinion on his advice-never used the f word though-its been 3 years and we haven't spoken since...they may have had another family reunion but I wasn't invited and the dog certainly wasn't Hope it all works out better for you...

[wolfy dog]

Treating him with dignity will save yours and allows your sisiter to see who he really is. if you meet him head on she will defend him

[cptduke]

Originally Posted by DTS

Have you ever seen the movie four Christmases?

Haha! I just watched part of that the other day! The part I saw was super funny!

Originally Posted by qbchottu

Don't allow him to dampen your holidays - you are giving him too much power/credit when you allow him to interfere with your happiness and holidays.

Originally Posted by wolfy dog

Treating him with dignity will save yours

True words from both of you. Thank you.

I'm glad I'm not the only one that struggles with this!

[Syaoransbear]

I suppose you could always make out with him under the mistletoe, then he won't be her fiance anymore .

[butch33611]

My sister married a jackass many years ago. They have since divorced. Anyway, I told her he was a jerk before they got married. I told her, that dude is not welcome in my house. She says, What will you do if we come over? I said you are more then welcome and he can sit on the porch in the snow until your ready to leave.

You wouldnt she says, Oh but I would!! And you know I would. They never visited together.

Point is, its your house and your call who you invite in and dont invite in. I figured if hes going to be a part of the family he should know right up front where he can visit and where he cant. No way I was going to put up with this jerk sittin on my sofa. Not a chance. My sister was mad for a while but she got over it.

I asked one time after they got married and she came over, Does he ever want to come with you? He did until I told him what you said. What did he say I asked. He says your a #@@#%$%^!!! Perfect I said. Thats right where I want him to be...lol

Now he knows where I stand and I wont have to put up with him any time soon..lol

We all have to put with a lot of things in the world while we'er out there in it. Rules to follow and people we have to tolerate depending on the situation we'er in. Once we get home, we make the rules there. If you dont what him in your home....Tell him to sit on the porch. Anybody that dont like it can join him on the porch.