Dealing with people you hate during the holidays

[KZoppa]

My sister in law was dating this jerk for 3 years. They were engaged for 6 months before she learned he was cheating on her. My husband and I went to school with this guy. I didn't like him one bit in high school. He was even worse after high school and when he was trying to weasel his way into the family. I made it VERY clear I did not like him (my husband hated him but was nice because he's just that kind of person). The sister in laws idiot was... a wannabe. He was constantly in things he shouldnt have been. Treated the animals like the greatest thing on the planet when my inlaws were around. He made the mistake of kicking Zena one time and I went after him. The inlaws were supposed to visit for Christmas one year and the sister in law invited the idiot. I told my husband to pass on the message that THEY were welcome to come but the idiot was not welcome and would be expected to sit outside on the porch with duct tape over his mouth for the duration of the visit. They thought I was kidding. They were staying at our house. I wouldn't let him in the door. My house, my rules. My husband at least offered him a tent and a sleeping bag to sleep in the backyard. I wouldn't have been so generous, especially after the kicking my dog incident.

My point is, its YOUR decision who comes into your house and who doesn't. Anyone who doesn't like it will have to deal or the celebration can be held elsewhere. I made it very clear I would make it a very miserable experience for everyone involved if that guy set even a toe in my house. I had made it clear he wasn't liked and it was made clear he would not be welcome. They learned to listen a lot better to house wishes after that weekend.

[julie87]

Well today we celebrated Christmas at my parents with relatives I have not seen for a year. My aunt and uncle started talking about dogs and I mentioned that big dogs are expenssive and that I spend more money on the dog than myself and that my dog has insurance...my aunt shook her head in very judgemental way and said "that is not normal, it is no ok at all".( little does she know that I really don't spend money on myself, I don't need much) And then she asked "what about kids, when are you gonna have kids?" and I said "Im ok without kids" And her husband replied "get well soon Julie". I was seriousely offended, I don't see them ever and my aunt always tells me how great I am and then she says that to my face on Christmas while having dinner? I just got up and left the table, there were many things I wanted to say such as what kind of idiot she married and what kind of life she has and trust me nobody wants the life that she has. It was a very dissappointing evening, I realized that starting today I am not gonna be nice to them even though they are my relatives life is to short to waste it on idiots.

[julie87]

[QUOTE=KZoppa;2663945]My sister in law was dating this jerk for 3 years. They were engaged for 6 months before she learned he was cheating on her. My husband and I went to school with this guy. I didn't like him one bit in high school. He was even worse after high school and when he was trying to weasel his way into the family. I made it VERY clear I did not like him (my husband hated him but was nice because he's just that kind of person). The sister in laws idiot was... a wannabe. He was constantly in things he shouldnt have been. Treated the animals like the greatest thing on the planet when my inlaws were around. He made the mistake of kicking Zena one time and I went after him. The inlaws were supposed to visit for Christmas one year and the sister in law invited the idiot. I told my husband to pass on the message that THEY were welcome to come but the idiot was not welcome and would be expected to sit outside on the porch with duct tape over his mouth for the duration of the visit. They thought I was kidding. They were staying at our house. I wouldn't let him in the door. My house, my rules. My husband at least offered him a tent and a sleeping bag to sleep in the backyard. I wouldn't have been so generous, especially after the kicking my dog incident.

Way to go! I played that scenario in my head many times, how if somebody hurts my dog what kind of things I will do to them

[KZoppa]

[quote=julie87;2663949]

Originally Posted by KZoppa

My sister in law was dating this jerk for 3 years. They were engaged for 6 months before she learned he was cheating on her. My husband and I went to school with this guy. I didn't like him one bit in high school. He was even worse after high school and when he was trying to weasel his way into the family. I made it VERY clear I did not like him (my husband hated him but was nice because he's just that kind of person). The sister in laws idiot was... a wannabe. He was constantly in things he shouldnt have been. Treated the animals like the greatest thing on the planet when my inlaws were around. He made the mistake of kicking Zena one time and I went after him. The inlaws were supposed to visit for Christmas one year and the sister in law invited the idiot. I told my husband to pass on the message that THEY were welcome to come but the idiot was not welcome and would be expected to sit outside on the porch with duct tape over his mouth for the duration of the visit. They thought I was kidding. They were staying at our house. I wouldn't let him in the door. My house, my rules. My husband at least offered him a tent and a sleeping bag to sleep in the backyard. I wouldn't have been so generous, especially after the kicking my dog incident.

Originally Posted by KZoppa

Way to go! I played that scenario in my head many times, how if somebody hurts my dog what kind of things I will do to them

Zena is my girl with hip problems and arthritis. He kicked her because she didn't get out of his way immediately (she knows the move command). He didn't just kick her either. My inlaws had left for the commissary and he came upstairs. She didn't move out of the kitchen doorway and he literally pulled his foot back like he was prepping to kick a soccer ball full force and nailed her. Zena is a durable dog and wouldnt have a problem biting someone if she felt it necessary. Family protective girl. Tank with fur but he kicked her hard enough it knocked the wind out of her with a yelp. I was down the hall before he knew what hit him. My husband had to pull me off him. After that, I didn't even pretend to tolerate him. There was no way he would ever be welcome in my house. My husband hated him but my husband is the kind of guy where he'll still give you the benefit of the doubt and still be nice. Me; nope. If I dont like you, thats it. I will make it clear I dont like you lol.

[julie87]

[quote=KZoppa;2663950]

Originally Posted by julie87

Zena is my girl with hip problems and arthritis. He kicked her because she didn't get out of his way immediately (she knows the move command). He didn't just kick her either. My inlaws had left for the commissary and he came upstairs. She didn't move out of the kitchen doorway and he literally pulled his foot back like he was prepping to kick a soccer ball full force and nailed her. Zena is a durable dog and wouldnt have a problem biting someone if she felt it necessary. Family protective girl. Tank with fur but he kicked her hard enough it knocked the wind out of her with a yelp. I was down the hall before he knew what hit him. My husband had to pull me off him. After that, I didn't even pretend to tolerate him. There was no way he would ever be welcome in my house. My husband hated him but my husband is the kind of guy where he'll still give you the benefit of the doubt and still be nice. Me; nope. If I dont like you, thats it. I will make it clear I dont like you lol.

Oh my God I don't even know what I would do if somebody kicked my sick dog so hard... glad you stand up for your dog, I respect people like you. Merry Christmas

[Dainerra]

Clark: Our holidays were always such a mess.
Clark Sr.: Oh, yeah.
Clark: How'd you get through it?
Clark Sr.: I had a lot of help from Jack Daniels.

[lhczth]

dptduke, if you love your sister you deal with the jerk. We used to celebrate Christmas here, but my husband's father hated the fact that we had dogs in the house. I would put them in crates so his parents would be comfortable here and because I loved my husband. Eventually it just became easier to have Christmas at their house and we brought the roast beef with us. When my husband's father would say things about the dogs in his all knowing way I would just smile and move on. Often not raising to the bait is a much stronger insult than reacting.

NOW, if someone had kicked one of my dogs that person would have been physically removed from my house in a not so pleasant way and made VERY aware that they were NOT welcome here again. I wouldn't care if I did love my sibling or child.

I usually can tolerate people, even those I do not like, but IF my sister (whom I really don't care if I ever see again) were to come visit the sperm donor she lives with would not be welcome.

[angelas]

My "sister" and I do not get along. So, while I live in my parents' house I've come to the conclusion that if I cannot leave (go to a dog show/trial or camping) while my sister visits I will just have to lock myself in my room and not give her a chance to let her snotty little comments fly.

Once I move out of my parents' place (only a 1 1/2 years to go) I'll never have to see or speak to the little spoiled brat again.

[Dotty]

Kicked your dog?
OMG
To me that would be not only abuse, but a total insult to my family and my home.


[quote=KZoppa;2663950]

Originally Posted by julie87

Zena is my girl with hip problems and arthritis. He kicked her because she didn't get out of his way immediately (she knows the move command). He didn't just kick her either. My inlaws had left for the commissary and he came upstairs. She didn't move out of the kitchen doorway and he literally pulled his foot back like he was prepping to kick a soccer ball full force and nailed her. Zena is a durable dog and wouldnt have a problem biting someone if she felt it necessary. Family protective girl. Tank with fur but he kicked her hard enough it knocked the wind out of her with a yelp. I was down the hall before he knew what hit him. My husband had to pull me off him. After that, I didn't even pretend to tolerate him. There was no way he would ever be welcome in my house. My husband hated him but my husband is the kind of guy where he'll still give you the benefit of the doubt and still be nice. Me; nope. If I dont like you, thats it. I will make it clear I dont like you lol.

My in-laws think I wrecked their son's life with all the animals, they HATE the pets and threaten to kick or eat them
When they are over, I leave.

[Gharrissc]

If it's that big of a problem I would just talk to my sister about it,or him. I think everyone has people in their family that they don't care for,whether they would admit it or not. I don't really care for several of my husband's family members,but as long as they give me the respect I give them, I can deal.