Through the Years, Letting Something Out.

[RileyMay]

Through the Years

Through the years I have said and done so many wrong things that I really regret. Words I have said and things I've done that I can’t take back. I know I really hurt people and destroyed their confidence in some way. Why did I do that? I am not 100% sure myself, and all that I know is that I got sucked into the wrong crowd. I fallowed them and figured “hey, if I can’t beat them. I’ll join them.” That’s exactly what I did, and I still don’t know.


Fallowing the wrong crowd of people showed me somebody who I don’t want to be like, and end up as. I noticed the lives I was hurting, destroying, and ruining. That made my heart hurt; for them. I asked myself almost everyday why? Why was I so ugly, rude, and hurtful? I didn't figure this out for a long time. Then one day I was laying in my bed, asking those questions again.


Then I came to the realization that I just wanted to fit in. I wanted and very much needed friends, but the “friends” I was “friends” with did nothing but cause me to destroy and hurt the people I love and care about the most. That’s when I deleted them and cut them all out of my life. Since then I changed my life, my words, and my actions. I sent apology letters and emails to everybody I hurt, and I hope that they will forgive me, and that I didn't damage them for life. If they don’t I completely understand because I am accountable of what I have said, and done. Although this year is a new year.

My goal is to do nothing but lift and encourage others up, no matter what they have done or have said to me. Also, if I ever snapped or got ugly, or anything to anybody on here...I am truly 100% extremely sorry!!!

[Mooch]

I have no idea how old you are (guessing about 16?) but it's time to grow up. Don't let other people influence who you want to be.
"Fitting in" is not important, chances are that in a couple of years time you will have nothing to do with the people you are "friends" with atm.
Be yourself, that takes more strength than being a bully!
Stand up for what you believe in, even small things like for example you don't like a movie all your friends like - that's fine, they may give you crap for it but most people will respect the fact that you don't just agree to be "the same". (and you often find if you're the one that says she didn't like it all of a sudden other people will speak up too.

Treat people the way you want them to treat you and they will help you become a mature, happy person!
Life is to short to hang out with people that make you feel like trash!!!

[RileyMay]

Originally Posted by Mooch

I have no idea how old you are (guessing about 16?) but it's time to grow up. Don't let other people influence who you want to be.
"Fitting in" is not important, chances are that in a couple of years time you will have nothing to do with the people you are "friends" with atm.
Be yourself, that takes more strength than being a bully!
Stand up for what you believe in, even small things like for example you don't like a movie all your friends like - that's fine, they may give you crap for it but most people will respect the fact that you don't just agree to be "the same". (and you often find if you're the one that says she didn't like it all of a sudden other people will speak up too.

Treat people the way you want them to treat you and they will help you become a mature, happy person!
Life is to short to hang out with people that make you feel like trash!!!

I agree with you and that is the necessary changes I am going to make.

[Mooch]

Good Be strong, you can do it!!

[RileyMay]

Originally Posted by Mooch

Good Be strong, you can do it!!

Thank you!!

[wolfy dog]

That is great insight. Have you apologized to the people you have hurt? That will help you move forward. And you have a shepherd!!

[Gretchen]

These kinds of self realizations and self truths are difficult to acknowledge, but you need to do it if you ever want to mature and be at peace with yourself. It is very thoughtful and brave of you to send out cards apologizing.

Many people avoid this process by a lot of distractions; TV, music, always keeping busy with something. I'm glad you are moving in a positive direction. Now please forgive yourself and don't dwell on it too much. Try to forgive others who have hurt you in the past and you will start to experience freedom. Glad you have your shepherd to love unconditionally.

[Freestep]

Whatever you've said and done, remember that you were just a kid... we all do stupid, irresponsible, and hurtful things when we're too young to know better, it's part of growing up. Now that you've reached the point where you realize you've done wrong, and are taking responsibility and making amends, you've crossed the threshold into adulthood.

And you'll probably make more mistakes as you learn and grow... again, that's part of living, but the fact that you can recognize and amend your mistakes is key. You're human and you're going to screw up just like the rest of us, but as you live and learn, you're less likely the make the same mistakes.

[RileyMay]

Thank you everybody and I truly do feel better for apologizing and such. I have gotten responses back and they all seemed to have forgiven me. Which makes me of course feel tons better!

[wolfy dog]

Originally Posted by RileyMay

Thank you everybody and I truly do feel better for apologizing and such. I have gotten responses back and they all seemed to have forgiven me. Which makes me of course feel tons better!

Hats off to you . People are generally forgiving.