So we talked about setting a date in Fall of 2014. Everyone seems shocked that we are waiting so long, and both of our parents are encouraging us to get married next year, but unless the sky starts raining $100s, there is NO way that will happen (and even 2014 seems iffy). The GOOD news is that my parents want to help. It may not be much, and I don't want to put them in a tough financial position, but I will definitely accept a little bit
My dad seems to be pushing a beach wedding (since I live here and out of town guests would love the area) but while it isn't out of the running completely, I am more inclined to a fall wedding in the mountains. Budget may dictate something closer to home though.
So, a few new questions
1- HOW in the world do you narrow down your venue choices? We love the idea of some place unique (maybe a bed and breakfast with super interesting interiors, a castle--aka private estate, or even a vineyard). We have emailed 4 or 5 places, and I do like them all, but I'm having trouble figuring out what direction I want to go in. All he says is "some place unique" lol. He says he won't really know what he likes until he actually sees it. At any rate, some are mostly-inclusive while others are simply venue-only. Our budget is dependent upon the venue and what is, or isn't, included...and the venues themselves vary GREATLY in price. We haven't even looked at anything here at the beach yet. So again...how the heck do you narrow down already great options?
2- I have to have surgery on my shoulder in January, and ONE of us has to move sometime before the wedding (one of his stipulations was that we are living together, or at least have those details worked out, prior to saying "I Do"). I really want him to come here to the beach, but jobs are NOT easy to find. He said he will wait years if he has to, to find a job out here if that's what I want, but I know he would be miserable being apart. On the flip side, my moving is a huge deal. I would be leaving everything...the beach, close proximity to everything (food, gas, movies, shopping), fishing/hunting, just a laid back beautiful lifestyle, my super awesome trainer...for, well, just for him. My job would more or less be the same (though I would be much closer to the evil OFFICE that we all try to stay away from, and therefore subject to more call-outs and oversight), but I would be in a small community that is pretty much the opposite of what I am living in now. Dollar for dollar the cost of living would be better, but I would have to drive probably 30 minutes to get to a grocery store (that likely would not have the quality of food I prefer) and over an hour to get to a large city with real shopping, dog trainers, and food. Now, I promised my fiance that I would look at houses if he could find some that fit my ever narrowing parameters. I did take it upon myself to look online, and I actually found a really cute house with more or less what I'm looking for (including a fenced yard, albeit a small one) and I told him about it. He was beside himself with excitement. We are going to look at it this Sunday. I know its not the end of the world if I move, I just don't want to regret it and end up miserable...because that will only affect our relationship. I WILL move for him, and I will make whatever work that I have to, but at the same time I'm honestly scared to make that kind of change. Please tell me this feeling is normal and that I might actually LOVE the house and get used to the idea of living a completely different life! I mean, part of why I love the beach is because I can do dog things so close to home (dog park is 2 minutes, beach is 2 minutes, trainer is 15). Realistically though, it could be years before my fiance could get a job out here. I suppose I'm just looking for support here
3- How do you deal with inviting SOME friends and not others? We originally estimated 70 people with the hopes that we would end up with 50 (that seems to be the magic number with price estimates). Most of my numbers are family/extended family. He counts 26 total--family, friends, and a single plus-1. I have like 25 family members, not including a few I forgot to count I think. I dont mind a small wedding, but this whole having to exclude people thing is very new to me. I'm super social, but I only have a few close friends. I have a lot of friends who love to hang out with me, and are super excited for me, but due our distance apart we aren't as close as we could be. The rest are people who would totally show up to help celebrate, but might be upset if they aren't invited. I know its about what WE want, and that in the end it doesn't really matter whose feelings we hurt because its about what we can afford (and if they are pissed, were they really that close to being with?), but still...
4- In light of question #3, would it be acceptable to have a party (engagement? after wedding?) to be with everyone that wasn't invited?
Whew...thats it for now