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post #1 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-30-2012, 05:59 PM Thread Starter
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Funny Blog, Dog Owner Take?

10 non-mom faux pas - Raising Kids - Family-Parenting - MSN Living

Since we enjoy facebook virals, thought I'd post this.

Interesting, maybe something most people will not admit, but when your children are born, how does your perception of your pet change?

I'll admit it does get under my skin, especially when I was potty training dd at just over a year (we started) and was getting advice from folks with non-human children (furbabies) whose 1 year old pups were not completely trained

I've got the receipts in emerg vets to prove I do not let an issue fester with the dogs, but at the end of the day, they are just dogs to me now. Maybe this goes with the poll regarding viewing dogs as children for those who are childless, but I know I am not the first mom who put the dogs first and foremeost and then had a child and sorta thought, well they are just an animal.

I'll also be honest and say, I adore STFU Parents and have often wished for the same type of blog for pet owners. I think laughing at oneself is good, hence why I love the STFU Parents blog, I am as guilty of oversharing as the next parent, I'm glad there is something that calls us out LOL.

So how did your perception of your pet and your childless friends with pets change when you became a parent.
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post #2 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-30-2012, 06:05 PM
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You linked to #3 which says in the sidebar (which took me forever to find!)

They compare their basset hound to your baby

A funny thing happens when you become a mom, even if you were the biggest animal lover on the planet: You realize that your cat/dog/hamster/tarantula really is just a pet. But your non-mom pals haven't gotten the memo yet. Try not to get offended when they liken the affection they feel for Fido to the soul-bursting love you have for baby. To them, it really is the same -- at least for now.
It must be a faux pas. My friends get pissed, absolutely pissed, when I make analogies to dogs or dog training in reference to their kids. I don't get it. Yeah- it really is the same to me. (No, I do not have kids.)

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post #3 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-30-2012, 06:19 PM Thread Starter
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Maybe it's because you start to view dog training as easier than child training? I mean there are enough examples of badly trained dogs to know this is a slippery analogy, but when I think back on training the dogs it seems simpler, although it just might have been quicker because they mature faster. I guess because I have a 2yr old who pronounces "clock" without the "L" for 2 months now and a dog who graduated off a prong in one year of me owning him, I see it as not the same battle LOL. If my dog at 2 has leash problems, I would consult a professional trainer, if my 2yr old kid lets go of my hand and I have a leash back-up, well it is what it is... I re-grab her hand and walk on, a 2 year old dog - big issue. Maybe that is it, reference to metabolic timing.
Maybe us parents are po'd because our dogs grasped it faster than our kids LOL.
It irritates me, but at the same time it is what it is and while I would never say to a childless person, wait until you have a kid, because been there, still paining from the infertile experience although in my case self-inflicted, because what we know is what our experience is.
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post #4 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-30-2012, 06:20 PM
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I don't have kids yet but I don't view my dogs as kids. It's not that I think one is more important than the other but it's apples and oranges. My dog is an "adult" and there are certain expectations I have of him, and him of me. We have a mutual trust and respect that has developed based on years of "working" together. I expect him to put himself between me and danger if it came to that but hypothetically speaking as a mother I'd probably get myself killed before letting harm come to my children. I guess to compare him to a child feels....almost demeaning? to me. But at the same time, I'm not saying my dog is better/more important to me than a child, not at all. My friend just had a baby and I went to see her last night. Not even my baby or a relative of mine and if you made up some crazy scenario while I was holding the baby and said something like would I sacrifice my dog to save this baby, in that moment absolutely I would have.

Ironically my mom who obviously has kids (I have siblings) and has always worked with kids (she now works in a daycare) is the one that always compares my dog ownership to having kids. She doesn't even like dogs but she always tells me I'm over prepared, based on some of the messes, sickness, and craziness we've dealt with having dogs. She keeps telling me kids will be a piece of cake. Granted I do have quite a bit of experience with kids/babies since I used to nanny and I've taken care of kids from 3 weeks on up, and granted my mom probably just wants me to start giving her grandbabies.
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post #5 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-30-2012, 06:29 PM
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I don't know that I ever referred to as/considered my dogs my "kids" but I did pamper them a lot more, spend ridiculous amounts of time with them catering entire days around dog activities, etc.

When we got pregnant with #1, honestly, I really didn't think this would change. A few months before having him, I started having quite a bit of anxiety about the shedding and general dirt and muck dogs bring into the house. It was driving me nuts. It calmed down somewhat, but still two years later it stresses me out sometimes when my son is playing on the floor and I haven't vaccumed recently, or swept yet and he's crawling around under the kitchen table. He's over 2 now, so he doesn't have to crawl, he walks and runs everywhere, but if you have kids you understand...ha.

My dogs definitely turned into just dogs when we had our son. I really can't stand when people compare dog training to child "training." It's not the same, there is no comparison and it's pretty rude frankly IMHO to compare the two to a parent of a young child. It just smacks of disrespect to the fact that the human child is a human, and the dog is just a mere dog.

I have owned dogs (multiples) my entire life. No amount of dog ownership prepares you to have a child. Honestly, nothing prepares you for having children until you have them, LOL.
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post #6 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-30-2012, 06:48 PM
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I always viewed my dogs and cats as animals, but loved them very much and gave them the best of care. I never would have even thought to equate them to human children, even before I had any.

Nothing could have prepared me for the depth of love you have for your children, nor the constant worry over them. Behind the love, there is always fear that something might happen to them, and angst because there is no way you can completely protect them, except to guide them to the best of your ability, and hope that when they are away from you, they will make wise decisions.

Dogs are a breeze to take care of and train.
Children are just the opposite, so I can understand why some would get their feathers ruffled when childless friends think they understand.

They don't.

You don't raise a dog with the knowledge that someday he will have to be an upstanding, law abiding, independent citizen.
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post #7 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-30-2012, 06:51 PM
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I have dogs and have kids (12 and 17) and I'd take the dog training over the kid training ANY day.

my dogs aren't just "dogs" to me but they aren't children either. In some ways, they are better - they don't talk back, they do as they're told (mostly) and they will always be my babies who need their Mommy.

Dog hair? Please. My kids track in 1000X the dirt that my dogs do. And cleaning the dogs is a quick brush off or, worse case scenario, spraying with the hose. Kids? Run water in the bath. Complain it's too hot. 5 minutes of them playing around and doing everything BUT bathing and now they are whining that the water is too cold. They come out of the bathroom not even wet and still covered in dirt. Send them back into the bathroom. They come out covered in wet dirt

the list is endless. Am I insulted when people compare dogs to kids? Nope. Having done both I can tell you that in most cases there ARE a lot of similarities. At least in the basic theories.
Like potty training - set a schedule. Eat then 20-30 minutes later, put them on the potty. Get up from a nap? straight to the potty. running and playing? Make sure to put them on the potty.

ETA: lest someone think that my children don't bathe, they are FINALLY able to be trusted alone in the bathroom. It only took about 10 years each lol

Last edited by Dainerra; 11-30-2012 at 06:53 PM.
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post #8 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-30-2012, 07:05 PM
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I will say, though, that I'm the oldest of 5 kids so I've been raising babies for years. When I was 16, my mom and dad went on vacation for 2 weeks and left me in charge of 3 kids, the two youngest were 4 months old and 1 1/2.
I do think it is something that changes from the first baby you take care of to the second. By the time I was 17, I was over that "sterilize everything for the baby" that new parents have. I knew that a quick dip in water would have the pacifier dropped on the floor clean enough to go straight into the babies mouth. That baby would be just fine if he was munching on kibble he found in the dog dish (one of me brothers would run straight to the dog dish to see if there was food when we went to my grandmother's house).
Most of the things in the blog are no big deal to me. I wouldn't consider them faux pas, just minor annoyances.
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post #9 of 13 (permalink) Old 12-01-2012, 01:18 AM
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I know a couple who were completely devoted to their dog before they had children. After they had children, the dog was kicked outside and tied up to her doghouse. She became borderline neglected. Now I take care of her.

It's really sad. When they didn't have children, their dog was hit by a car and without hesitation they paid the money for the surgery she needed. Now when she runs away, they don't even look for her. They just assume she'll come back after a while. They even say that if the dog catcher gets her they won't pay the money to get her back. But they have all the money in the world to buy their daughter princess outfits. It's infuriating.

I'm a bit bitter towards people who decrease the level of care they give to their animals after they have children. I get that people obviously love their children more than their pets, but that doesn't mean your love for your pets should decrease.

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post #10 of 13 (permalink) Old 12-01-2012, 10:37 AM
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I'm glad you brought this up. I was thinking last night about posting along the lines of the same thing.

I'll be turning 41 in 8 days. I don't have biological children. DH and I tried fertility treatments when I was 35 - 36. Lots of money down the drain. Heartache, headache and constant hormonal imbalances. People always wondering if it worked that month or not. I finally gave up. Let it go about a year or so ago, saying - well I have my dogs! I'm going to change my entire life now and start living as a 40 year old couple and have some fun! I went back to school, and really started concentrating on our business's again. It was an emotional breakthrough for me, and us. The dogs were still our dogs, we loved them and played with them.

In May, my great niece was born. Long story short - my niece, the baby's mother - has severe mental illness along with a few other labels. CPS stepped in immediately and said the baby isn't going home with her. (I was thanking the powers that be, I was terrified this baby was going to be abused by her and alleged father before CPS stepped in) I was so glad that this little girl baby wasn't going to be abused by anyone! I had previously resigned myself, and my other family members that live here had resigned themselves to not taking the baby. We wanted this cycle to end. It was now 3 generations of neglect and abuse and having to deal with mental issues.

Then I sat back while I was holding the baby in the room, she was one day old. I looked at her and it hit me hard, how do I know this baby isn't going to be neglect or abused by someone? How do I know that? Just because she isn't going home with her mother, doesn't mean that it can't happen.

My husband and I have been raising her since she was a day old. She is now going to be 7 months old in 5 days. Parental rights have been severed - and she is free for adoption. In January we will be turned over to the adoption agency to start the process.

She is joy, a blessing and we are so very much in love with her. She is our daughter, through and through.

The dogs got kicked out. LOL. They aren't at the pound, they don't suffer from lack of food or water. But they don't get the attention they once did. Is that wrong? Probably. But when you go through a life changing event, things happen. I never ever thought I'd become a parent that sort of shoved their dogs to the side when a baby came along. But I am one, for now.

It's just different. I was thinking last night when I was kicking the ball for them, I really need to find a routine to get them involved again. I'm not going to "neglect" them for the rest of their lives, but when you have a baby under the age of 1, I understand now.

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