Tell Me It Gets Better

[ladyfreckles]

At all roads in life it seems like there will be phonies who fake their way through everything. In high school there were the honors/AP kids who spent their time after school drinking/partying and got good grades by lots of extra help/cheating off of other people. In college there are the people whose parents were putting them through/who only got in because of a private high school with connections and didn't have any actual desire to study. In your first job there's always the one person who tries to get by with only doing what benefits them and weasels their way out of work they don't want to do.

I could go on, but my point is that there are people everywhere who scrape by on BS. Some of the really talented ones become CEOs or get positions of power, but the majority of ones who aren't working with much talent and only survive by exaggerating what talent they have. Pat has people like that at work. They can code a bit and scraped by with okay grades in college, but they usually don't progress much in work.

I'm getting tired of dealing with people like that. The kind of people who live their lives on handouts. I really hope that eventually I'll reach a point in life where they go away. If not, that really does suck. I try not to be bothered by these people because they don't affect me or change my love for what I do, but sometimes it really just makes me clench my teeth. Does it get better? Do these people get weeded out? Will I ever eventually get over people like that?

I'm so tired of dealing with them.

[Rua]

Unfortunately, in this system we live in, the answer is no. It doesn't get better. These encounters never really go away. Which is probably a very depressing answer and not one you want to hear.

However, on the bright side as time goes on you get better at filtering these people out. And while you will still have to interact and deal with a lot of them, if you are able to surround yourself with positive influences and good people in your life, it tends to help you filter these BS types out a bit better.

I believe that things as they are now will only get better through a higher power myself. But that's a topic for another discussion.

Chin up, girl. It will get better for you on a personal level if you don't let it get to you. xx

[PaddyD]

Human nature doesn't change. There will always be 'those' people. I put up with it during 50 years of my working life. I retired before I wanted to because of 'those' people. Half of 'those' people don't have a clue and the other half don't care. They are carried by the rest of us because we do care, we have the real competence and we need to survive in spite of them.

[jocoyn]

No it does not. But you can let it bother you or try to find what it is that brings you joy and fulfillment regardless.

Life gets a lot better when you only worry about the things you have the power to change.

[ladyfreckles]

Originally Posted by PaddyD

Human nature doesn't change. There will always be 'those' people. I put up with it during 50 years of my working life. I retired before I wanted to because of 'those' people. Half of 'those' people don't have a clue and the other half don't care. They are carried by the rest of us because we do care, we have the real competence and we need to survive in spite of them.

A person who is truly passionate about what they do does not use their career as something to brag about. If you love training dogs, you talk about dogs. If you love training horses, you talk about horses. Yet I see people all the time on forums who, while they claim to love animals, only ever talk about the money they get or how much they're getting some sucker to pay them. They never talk about the actual work itself, or seem to want to talk about it or care about it. It's all about the $$$. The animals don't matter. They're not passionate about their career.

Then the people who work hard, try to learn, love their animals come in and have to compete with these sorts of people (for jobs, I mean). I once did an evaluation lesson with a riding instructor who spent the entire lesson talking about herself and how skilled she was. She didn't pay any attention to me or my riding. Needless to say, I never rode with her again. I was glad I had other options besides her. In the work place you don't get to decide.

Originally Posted by jocoyn

No it does not. But you can let it bother you or try to find what it is that brings you joy and fulfillment regardless.

Life gets a lot better when you only worry about the things you have the power to change.

Any tips for learning how to do that?

[jocoyn]

Originally Posted by ladyfreckles

Any tips for learning how to do that?

Focus and throw your enerngy into those things you can change or improve upon. They will always irritate you but you control how much they get under your skin.

If something bothers you like that get involved in making a positive change whatever way you can - even if it is a hopeless cause..one person at a time, one dog at a time, whatever. YOu can't fix the world.

[Alexandria610]

Life can be trying sometimes. I was one of the honors kids in highschool, but I worked hard to earn the right to be one, as did my friends. I wanted to have amazing grades, I relied on them to help me make it through college on scholarship. There are some out there that work hard but you have to look under the surface to see it.

I, too, am frustrated for those that seemingly get handouts. I work very hard, still, to earn the best grades I can. I do not go out and party every night like some of my peers, and I still am the one that sometimes struggles with grades. I can't understand how they get amazing grades and yet I'm the one busting my butt to get there. When I worked for Disney, I put everything I had into that job. You want to know what really sucks? People that had only been there a week and did nothing but were buddy-buddy with the managers got extra honors and recognition, while I only ever got one thing the entire three years I was there, working hard.

I found that if I dwelled on this, the only person it hurt was me. People are always going to find ways to cheat the system and to raise themselves higher than you in some way. You have to find a way to be content with where you are and how you present yourself. When I started working hard to impress myself, I not only found that the quality of my work was better, but that I was happier. I worked for me. Who cares about everyone else? I can take pride in the fact that although it may not be noticed by others, at least I did my best and that is all that matters. I like it. I impressed myself. I try hard for me and only me - my opinion is the only one that matters. It may be a selfish way to view the world but I've been happier ever since I started to look at it this way and try to ignore all the sad abd miserable people who have to cheat their way through life or have a meaningless existance constantly trying to impress others or be the "popular people." Like others said here - chin up if you ever need someone to vent to or talk to you know where to find me!

[ladyfreckles]

Originally Posted by Alexandria610

Life can be trying sometimes. I was one of the honors kids in highschool, but I worked hard to earn the right to be one, as did my friends. I wanted to have amazing grades, I relied on them to help me make it through college on scholarship. There are some out there that work hard but you have to look under the surface to see it.

I, too, am frustrated for those that seemingly get handouts. I work very hard, still, to earn the best grades I can. I do not go out and party every night like some of my peers, and I still am the one that sometimes struggles with grades. I can't understand how they get amazing grades and yet I'm the one busting my butt to get there. When I worked for Disney, I put everything I had into that job. You want to know what really sucks? People that had only been there a week and did nothing but were buddy-buddy with the managers got extra honors and recognition, while I only ever got one thing the entire three years I was there, working hard.

I found that if I dwelled on this, the only person it hurt was me. People are always going to find ways to cheat the system and to raise themselves higher than you in some way. You have to find a way to be content with where you are and how you present yourself. When I started working hard to impress myself, I not only found that the quality of my work was better, but that I was happier. I worked for me. Who cares about everyone else? I can take pride in the fact that although it may not be noticed by others, at least I did my best and that is all that matters. I like it. I impressed myself. I try hard for me and only me - my opinion is the only one that matters. It may be a selfish way to view the world but I've been happier ever since I started to look at it this way and try to ignore all the sad abd miserable people who have to cheat their way through life or have a meaningless existance constantly trying to impress others or be the "popular people." Like others said here - chin up if you ever need someone to vent to or talk to you know where to find me!

I was one of those honors/gifted kids too. I had a difficult time because I was under-stimulated (mentally) in class. It wasn't the work load, it was the work itself. I struggled a bit in my freshman year of high school which ruled out AP courses for me, but I went on to clean up my act and become an honor's society member. I remember being in 4th grade and reading 1984 during my spare time and being in an advanced lit class (from 2nd-6th grade) reading Shakespeare and other older works with four other students.

That's a really good tip (focusing on yourself instead of other things). I really struggle with that because sometimes I find it difficult to be self-motivated. Thanks for the inspiration! There are things I just love doing and I need to not let the people who want to pretend to love doing it bother me.

Originally Posted by jocoyn

Focus and throw your enerngy into those things you can change or improve upon. They will always irritate you but you control how much they get under your skin.

If something bothers you like that get involved in making a positive change whatever way you can - even if it is a hopeless cause..one person at a time, one dog at a time, whatever. YOu can't fix the world.

That's actually really great advice! Thanks

[Scarlettsmom]

Or...you can sit back and watch Karma in action. Think Bernie Madoff...Do what you can with what you have where you are. What you will never know is how insecure some of those people are. They may be totally terrified that the truth will come out about them.

You have ALL the power in how YOU choose to deal with these people. I would say you have so much going for you, to just let them go. They will reap what they sow.

[Alexandria610]

Originally Posted by ladyfreckles

There are things I just love doing and I need to not let the people who want to pretend to love doing it bother me.

I currently struggle with this and my art and photography. Mostly my photography. I enjoy it so very, very much and of course I would love to share this with others. But it seems one of the only ways to really share it and find better opportunities to delve into it is to sell it as a business.

Now, I like my photography, and I have friends and family who say I would do great with it as a side business! I get excited - then I see a friend who randomly bought an expensive camera and now has a 'photography business' and is already 200+ fans higher than I will ever be. It's disappointing. I start to compare my work with theirs, and feel no matter what I do, how hard I try, or what I'm taking pictures of, it pales in comparison to their beautiful works.

Then I feel depressed and as if I will not only never be where they are, skill and professionalism wise, but really being able to express what I feel for my work.

When this happens, I talk to my sister about it. She's always been a huge support for me (in everything) but BIG time in my photography and artwork. She reminds me that, no matter 'how great everyone else is' or 'how much money or fame they get from selling their work or photo sessions' just be happy in what you do. She always asks 'do you like to take photographs?' and my answer is always 'well yeah, I love to. It's a huge passion of mine. I feel like it takes me to a whole other world, one where I can capture the most beautiful and exciting things happening on film and never let go of that emotion or moment or the feeling I felt when I saw what I photographed.' And with a smile, she always reminds me 'if you love what you do, why compare yourself to others? Just enjoy what you do. Be passionate about it. Your passion is part of what I love about your work. It may not be the most professional with the world's best camera, and it may not be something that people will flock to and want to buy - but why does it matter if YOU enjoy it?'

Her encouragement and support keeps me going. It really is hard sometimes - I struggle when I tell people that I 'take pictures' and they say 'oh, are you a photographer?' and I respond with a 'well...no, not really. Not professionally...I just do it for fun I guess...' It's hard to see others that used to just take pictures of themselves in their mirrors at weird angles, add a filter, then put some tagline on it and make it their profile picture on Myspace or Facebook, and now all of a sudden they are some big time, amazing photographer with a business and people ooing and awwwing over their work. It sucks. I try really hard, I love what I do, so why do I feel so inadequate? It's something I will probably always struggle with - that insecurity and that want to be just as good if not better than everyone that just magically has that talent.

But I'm lucky I have that support to push me back up when I'm feeling low. If you need some extra support, you know we are always here I've found quite a few on this forum, actually, that have been very supportive when I've needed them, and I don't even personally know them!

I'm glad some of our advice has seemed to help you out