My heart is so torn...

[jang]

I live with my 88 year old father--He is in basic good health--As some of you may or may not know, my family is against my having Sib because they feel she will ultimately cause harm to my dad--mostly through falling over her not by aggression.. Well this has happened,, last week Sib wouldn't come to him so he threw the newspaper up in the air to entice
her--looked up too fast and (because of a recent bout with vertigo) fell down--luckily the neighbor was there to help him up--He was not hurt badly--just some bruises and stuff but oh my God the family is ready to kill Sib--But today, today is bad --Dad fell over Sib in the kitchen , hit his head, a cut over his eye and is now at the ER getting cat scans etc..WE (dad and I) lied to the family and told them he fell over the rug--I told daddy I will re-home Sib and he says no it wasn't her fault--I think he loves her too..But in my heart I think I have reached the point where I seemingly love the dog more than taking care of my dad..This is not true but I sure do love the dog--I fear the reactions to this situation from ya'll cause I'm pretty sure re-homing her is the only solution..PLEASE HELP ME SORT THIS OUT.. Jan

[LaRen616]

Can you keep them separated somehow?

Can you keep her confined to the kitchen until your dad is sleeping or something?

Keep her crated when you are not home. When you are home keep a close eye on her. Heck get a walkie talkie and have your dad tell you when he is up and moving around.

There has to be a way to keep them away from each other.

[mysweetkaos]

Is there anyway that you could confine her to certain areas of the house when your dad is up and around?

[Wolfiesmom]

I'm not in the exact situation, but I do have an 80 year old uncle that lives with us in the summer up at the beach house. He loves Wolfie, but he is losing his sight, and has tripped on Wolfie a couple of times. Now when someone can't be with Wolfie and uncle in the same room, we gate Wolfie in an area, or bring Wolfie with us. I don't know how that would work for you, since you live with your dad full time, but it's a thought. Good luck with whatever you need to do. This is a heartbreaking situation for all of you.

[Mrs.K]

It's not the dogs fault, your Dad is right.

And the family ready to kill the dog? Why? The dog did not do anything.

I would gate off an area for the dog where your dad doesn't go and leave the dog there.

[Lilie]

Only you know what goes on in your home, and how much danger your dog presents with regards to your Dad. However, (I feel) you have to consider how much good a well behaved dog does for our elderly as well. If you dad loves your dog, and enjoys her companionship and the only threat your dog holds for your dad is knocking your dad down, perhaps you can provide something (a cane/walker etc.) that will help stablize your dad.

You could teach Sib a command that your dad can use that will provide space for your dad. Something like 'back!' Provide additional tools for your dad to control Sib.

Just for fun, I've taught Hondo to stand and brace to help me off the floor. If I'm on the floor (brushing him etc.) and I say, "Help!" he'll come to my side and I'll brace on his shoulder area to help me get up. I don't really put a lot of pressure on him, but he loves to do it. But what I have noticed, is that when I'm on the floor (for what ever reason) he'll come to my side and not stand in my way. Could be something to teach Sib when you're dad is sitting in a chair etc.

Before you guilt yourself into re-homing your dog, think of what she means to your dad. You might have to reach deep down in your tool chest to help the two live together safely.

[jang]

I have told daddy to leave her in the crate while I am at work but he thinks this is no life for a dog--I continually move Sib out of the kitchen when I am in there but dad won't follow through with this--He is quite cantankerous! I have to go to Ohio right after Valentines day for surgery for my daughter and dad wants me to leave the dog with him- but my best friend is going to be keeping her for me--At least I know he will be safe then..Daddy I mean

[mysweetkaos]

Me again....
I would really look at options for keeping them seperate unless you were right there to assist. Kaos has a command "move it" which even if I'm 20 feet away he gets up and goes to a different spot. We used it when the babies were little if I had to come through a doorway or a room where he was blocking the path.
I agree your dad seems to like Sib, and animals bring a comfort to the aging that no one else can. I also know from being my Grandpa's primary nurse/caregiver before he passed....my dog at the time was a great companion to me in a very emotional, physical, and time consuming job.

[jang]

Oh another thing-when dad fell, he fell onto Sib--She released a very foul runny substance out of her anus--Do you think the pressure popped her anal glands? She has never had a problem there before--I was only home for a few minutes to pick daddy up and check on Sib (cause he is worried he may have hurt her) and found that smelly mess in the kitchen--She seems ok-dad however quite the mess..bloddy and stuff..Oh Lord I am sick to death over this...

[arycrest]

If it's either get rid of her or keep her separated, I agree with those who suggested separating Sib from the areas your Dad's in. Are the family members who are insisting you get rid of your dog living with him too or just putting their .02cents worth of opinion into the debate?