Having an issue with the husband, advice?

[GSDolch]

Ok, first...I do NOT want this to turn into a gun debate..because that is NOT what it is about. I am trying to find a solution to a problem my husband and I are having at the moment and to be honest I actually don't see a compromise this time. (why I am bringing it here, maybe someone has dealt with this before)


Ok. I am not big on guns. I am NOT against them. I just don't care for them, and im not to comfortable with them. Ive gone shooting..don't like it, don't want to do it. Not to mention past experiences with my ex and guns.

My husband likes shooting, I do go to the range with him, usually just to watch. He has two shotguns and a rifle. Former marine, son of a cop, family is full of cops, former cops, former military, etc.

He wants to go and get his CCW. He has talked about it in the past, but its never really gone anywhere. He knows, or thought he knew, how I felt about guns. I am NOT going to tell him no..don't go get it. This is not my choice to make, it is his.

Well, it was brought up again..his work is offering the classes for free. My feelings came up again, but this time it blew up into a fight. When it comes down to it, I am just not comfy with it. But that's me. I'm actually not mad about anything, but now he is mad at ME, because of how I feel about it. It puts him in a position he doesn't want to be in..and I DO understand that, but its not something I can just keep to myself and let go. It does effect me to.

I mentioned him just not carrying when he is with me...he doesn't want to do that either.

Ok, I need to correct something. I am mad, because now, according to him I live in a bubble because of how I feel about it. That does make me mad, and it hurts.

I don't see a compromise, I'm not sure how to even come close to having some sort of compromise. Has anyone dealt with this before or have any ideas?

[msvette2u]

Yeah. I have a CCW and I heartily advise it.
You don't want to be the one sitting there beside a dead husband because you refused to let him get a CCW. He doesn't want a dead wife because he didn't.
Sorry. You asked.
*PS. Hubby has his too and I am so glad because I wear a dress sometimes and can't figure out, well, where to put my gun, and so he's now my backup on those days.

PPS. http://www.nssf.org/FirstShots/ <find one and go there!

[GSDolch]

Actually I was asking for advice on a compromise. I have no idea where what you wrote came from. I'm not making anyone do anything.

[BR870]

Whats there to compromise over? He's not making you carry. He doesn't tell you what to carry in your purse. If he wants to legal exercise his right, and is not forcing you to participate, what is the problem?

FWIW, I have my CCW but do not carry as often as I should...

[Pattycakes]

I don't have any advice since I'm not married. I just wanted you to know that I hope you can find an answer or a compromise.

[Emoore]

I am going to try to respect your wishes not to turn this into a gun debate, because I CCW myself and am all for it.

For me, I can't imagine being in the situation your husband is in. I don't go into places that won't allow me to CCW. My friends don't know I carry, but if a friend asked me not to carry into their home, I wouldn't go to their home anymore. If a friend asked me not to carry in their presence. . . . well, concealed means concealed and my friends don't see me naked.

I guess the big thing is that it is a concealed weapon, which means nobody knows you're carrying. It doesn't affect you if he's wearing, say, a cross or star of David on a chain under his shirt. It doesn't affect you if he carries a lucky penny in his pocket since you can't see them and don't know they're there. If you're in public and you're not frisking/groping him, how does his carry of a weapon affect you?

[Rerun]

It would help if you would explain your reasoning before a real response can be made that will actually help.

Guns don't shoot themselves. So if he's not a complete idiot, and has taken classes, has the common sense to not shoot himself, you, or an innocent person, and isn't trigger happy; let him get the gun, carry it safely and legally, and put it in a safe next to his side of the bed at night that's finger activated (we use the gun vault). Gun Safes - Home Gun Safe - Handgun Safes | GunVault | GunVault

[Jax08]

I"m on your side GSDolch. There are guns in our house but having a gun doesn't protect you and can escalate things. I once talked to a retired cop about having a gun and his response was "if you can't shoot to kill, then you shouldn't have one"

So, can he shoot to kill? You can't shoot to maim because they'll kill you if given a chance. What if you shoot an innocent person?

I think you guys are going to have to reach a compromise. If it makes you uncomfortable to have it on him when he is with you then he should respect that if you are willing to respect his desire to get one.

[Rerun]

You really can't compromise on this. Sometimes in life, there just isn't a compromise. Let him get the gun.

[Emoore]

You're right, I don't really see a compromise. People like me, your husband, and MsVette see the bad things that can and sometimes do happen and we feel that being armed is the best and wisest way to defend against those things. You do not. Nothing wrong with either viewpoint, but from your husband's viewpoint, you are trying to make him defenseless in a hostile world. From your viewpoint, he is going directly against your wishes and carrying an object that makes you uncomfortable. There really isn't a compromise between carrying and not carrying.