So Upset (non GSD & long)

[chelle]

Originally Posted by CMeredith

Wow...I'm a little speechless. If you can't trust your boyfriend with such a simple task as feeding, then why is he your boyfriend? Contrary to popular opinion, all us guys aren't clueless sods. Those that are, shouldn't be rewarded for it by being absolved of all responsibility. If your dogs are important to you, then they should be important to him.

In the OP's case, we don't have any indication that he should be lumped into the same category though.

Buahaa, I have absolutely no idea. (in reference to bolded)

I'm something of a control freak as well and need things done exactly so. Dog #1 needs half a pill added to each feeding, plus green beans and 1/2 pill probiotic @ second feeding. Dog #2 needs no meds, easy. Dog #3 is finally swtiched over to new food, so easier, but needs 1.5 cups per feeding, with one feeding also getting a probioitic, rice and pumpkin & every other day or so, a frozen carrot........ They're fed at 5:50 AM and 6:00 PM, or very close to. All kibble is measured with a measuring cup and all dogs are on different kibbles.

Do I trust him to remember all this? No.

BUT going back to OP -- if your bf is a spacecase and you're worried he'll forget/not do it right, etc/ whatever, just don't let him do it anymore. Not the best answer, I know, but maybe the best and safest for the critters!

[squeak]

Thanks for the replies and get well wishes for Elke. This really sucks & we both (the boyfriend and I) feel terrible that this happened. I wish I could go back in time and get up when he did instead of sleeping in.

Porter seems like such a laid back guy. The girls dogs both have more...forceful personalities but we haven't had any problems between the dogs or dogs and cats before. Maybe we have just been lucky?

Our older cats just do their own thing and show zero interest in the dogs. Elke, being a kitten, is more energetic and interested in the day to day goings on the older cats find mundane.

May be he was just extra crabby yesterday or maybe he was thinking 'Okay I am not on top when it comes to the other dogs but by god I will not have a kitten taking my food'...I don't really know. I wish I had been there to see what happened.

I am grateful she wasn't killed. I'm not trying to minimize her injury, but it is interesting that she wasn't more seriously injured considering the size difference. I wonder if this was the equivalent of a 'kiss off' snap that may not have caused this much damage had it been on a larger animal...and not right in the face.

I am upset with him but I don't think I'll remove all responsibility from him....yet We have talked about this and I think it's a case of us looking at things differently. I make sure everyone can enjoy their meal in peace because I want to avoid a problem where he felt like there were no problems so they didn't need to be supervised. Not sure if that makes sense-it does in my head

[CMeredith]

Makes perfect sense to me. Maybe it's a guy thing My wife was always about removing temptation and avoiding problems (with both kids and animals), whereas I always preferred to approach everything as a teaching opportunity. For example, she'd remove food from the counter to prevent counter surfing - I'd leave food out but then watch for a dog to put front paws up on the counter (whereby they were told no and sent to another room). She created good behavior by never allowing an opportunity for bad behavior. I preferred to try and teach right from wrong. Each approach has its place I guess. He probably figured that they were good based on their history together.

What's more important is how each of you reacts NOW. He should be properly apologetic and accepting of fault. You should be properly forgiving (if he's earned it). It's things like this that define the kind of relationship you're going to have.

Besides, if nothing else, you've got a great big one to hold over his head the next time he doesn't want to listen to you ("Rememeber the kitten?")

[chelle]

Originally Posted by squeak

Thanks for the replies and get well wishes for Elke. This really sucks & we both (the boyfriend and I) feel terrible that this happened. I wish I could go back in time and get up when he did instead of sleeping in.

Porter seems like such a laid back guy. The girls dogs both have more...forceful personalities but we haven't had any problems between the dogs or dogs and cats before. Maybe we have just been lucky?

Our older cats just do their own thing and show zero interest in the dogs. Elke, being a kitten, is more energetic and interested in the day to day goings on the older cats find mundane.

May be he was just extra crabby yesterday or maybe he was thinking 'Okay I am not on top when it comes to the other dogs but by god I will not have a kitten taking my food'...I don't really know. I wish I had been there to see what happened.

I am grateful she wasn't killed. I'm not trying to minimize her injury, but it is interesting that she wasn't more seriously injured considering the size difference. I wonder if this was the equivalent of a 'kiss off' snap that may not have caused this much damage had it been on a larger animal...and not right in the face.

I am upset with him but I don't think I'll remove all responsibility from him....yet We have talked about this and I think it's a case of us looking at things differently. I make sure everyone can enjoy their meal in peace because I want to avoid a problem where he felt like there were no problems so they didn't need to be supervised. Not sure if that makes sense-it does in my head

Well, sounds like your bf was just not on top of things, not aware of what could transpire, etc... So now you both have the opportunity to discuss how things should be done, who will feed, maybe you take the morning feed, he takes the other, etc and so on. I mean, now it is out there what the ramifications are. BUT I also want to say, it is about training and dealing with the guarding issue. My cat is the patriarch of the family. NO DOG in this house is allowed to "cross" the cat. If puddy tat wants a drink out of the dog bowl, puddy tat gets that drink. And I'm right there making sure of it. I've had kitty longer than any of them and he's in his twilight years and deserves a life of no strife from this set of hooligans. Not the same as your situation, for sure, but cat vs dog? Nah. So kitty gets a higher post. Mess with kitty? Mess with mom.!

Originally Posted by CMeredith

Makes perfect sense to me. Maybe it's a guy thing My wife was always about removing temptation and avoiding problems (with both kids and animals), whereas I always preferred to approach everything as a teaching opportunity. For example, she'd remove food from the counter to prevent counter surfing - I'd leave food out but then watch for a dog to put front paws up on the counter (whereby they were told no and sent to another room). She created good behavior by never allowing an opportunity for bad behavior. I preferred to try and teach right from wrong. Each approach has its place I guess. He probably figured that they were good based on their history together.

What's more important is how each of you reacts NOW. He should be properly apologetic and accepting of fault. You should be properly forgiving (if he's earned it). It's things like this that define the kind of relationship you're going to have.

Besides, if nothing else, you've got a great big one to hold over his head the next time he doesn't want to listen to you ("Rememeber the kitten?")

I'm a mix of both your wife and yourself... I've been known to set things close to the edge of the counter, just so I can bust the dog. But, other times, I just make sure they're not within doggy reach. So I understand both. Sounds like you and your wife are a good balance.!