Battery of pregnant woman leads to probation

[LaRen616]

Sometimes leaving the situation can end up with them being killed by the abuser.

Stay and get beat or leave and he might kill you.

They are trapped and scared, it is not their fault, you haven't been through it so you dont really know what you would do or how you would feel.

I think any man that beats a woman is a pig but any man that beats a pregnant woman should rot in jail for the rest of his life.

[LoveEcho]

Originally Posted by crackem

we can berate teh judge and the moron doing the punching and kicking that also has a record of domestic violence in the past, but it should also be noted his record comes as a result from an argument with this same woman.

I think the guy is a pig, but come on people, most things in life don't happen to you by accident or by luck. If you chose to stay with an abuser, expect to get abused. If you want better for yourself, make better decisions.

Coming from someone who has survived a multi-year abusive relationship, and who considers herself reasonably self-assured and intelligent, I'm pretty insulted by this. You have NO idea the control a person with the mentality of an abuser can exert over the most intelligent of people. It really is like brainwashing... because it happens slowly. That guy didn't start that relationship kicking the crap out of her, he chipped away at her independence a little at a time until she was convinced that she could not/should not leave. That leaving would make HER a horrible person, because he loved her and she couldn't give up on him.

With that statement, and your statement about her "drama", do you intend to say that those who get hit deserve it? That, by staying with him and arguing, she deserved it? With people who respond with such violence, an "argument" could have been something as small as an innocent "where were you?" question, or nothing at all. The worst situations I was in were usually over the smallest things.

[GregK]

Originally Posted by LaRen616

I think any man that beats a woman is a pig but any man that beats a pregnant woman should rot in jail for the rest of his life.

No, apparently you just get a slap on the wrist and freedom for the opportunity to do it again and again.

[Syaoransbear]

Originally Posted by LoveEcho

Coming from someone who has survived a multi-year abusive relationship, and who considers herself reasonably self-assured and intelligent, I'm pretty insulted by this. You have NO idea the control a person with the mentality of an abuser can exert over the most intelligent of people. It really is like brainwashing... because it happens slowly. That guy didn't start that relationship kicking the crap out of her, he chipped away at her independence a little at a time until she was convinced that she could not/should not leave. That leaving would make HER a horrible person, because he loved her and she couldn't give up on him.

With that statement, and your statement about her "drama", do you intend to say that those who get hit deserve it? That, by staying with him and arguing, she deserved it? With people who respond with such violence, an "argument" could have been something as small as an innocent "where were you?" question, or nothing at all. The worst situations I was in were usually over the smallest things.

This is so true. I had been attacked on some occasions just for wearing the wrong t-shirt. Another time it was because I got whooping cough and my coughing was too disruptive. Trying your hardest not to cough when you have whooping cough so you don't 'get in trouble' was torture.

[Courtney]

Originally Posted by LoveEcho

Coming from someone who has survived a multi-year abusive relationship, and who considers herself reasonably self-assured and intelligent, I'm pretty insulted by this. You have NO idea the control a person with the mentality of an abuser can exert over the most intelligent of people. It really is like brainwashing... because it happens slowly. That guy didn't start that relationship kicking the crap out of her, he chipped away at her independence a little at a time until she was convinced that she could not/should not leave. That leaving would make HER a horrible person, because he loved her and she couldn't give up on him.

With that statement, and your statement about her "drama", do you intend to say that those who get hit deserve it? That, by staying with him and arguing, she deserved it? With people who respond with such violence, an "argument" could have been something as small as an innocent "where were you?" question, or nothing at all. The worst situations I was in were usually over the smallest things.

Your post gave me chills because you just spoke raw truth. Thank you for putting yourself out there like that.

[gagsd]

Here is a pretty informative link:
Why She Stays - Why She Leaves

I have heard a judge tell a victim of domestic violence, in court, "Well you know what makes him mad, just don't do it."
A pastor told a young lady I know to "just go home and have sex." Because not putting out MUST have been the reason she had her face broken.

Domestic Violence is not about anger, or getting into a fight. It is a pattern of power and control. The batterer does not get angry at work and throw his boss down a flight of stairs. The batterer is capable of controlling his (or her) anger.

Here locally, strangulation is a misdemeanor, simple assault. (Unless of course the victim gets strangled and dies).

There is so much involved in understanding the dynamics of domestic violence. I hope that some may take the opportunity to learn.

I deal with victims of DV every day. Yes, I get frustrated at times by what I view is a poor decision. But understanding the dynamics reminds me that you cannot judge someone in that situation with the "normal" mental measuring stick.

[GregK]

Originally Posted by gagsd

I have heard a judge tell a victim of domestic violence, in court, "Well you know what makes him mad, just don't do it."

A pastor told a young lady I know to "just go home and have sex." Because not putting out MUST have been the reason she had her face broken.

I don't even know what to say about this...........