Confessions Thread

[LukasGSD]

I have major social anxiety issues. People will say "get over it" or "it will get better". But in my case, it's pretty severe that finding work, going out and doing things, even if it is just going shopping is difficult. I will end up backing myself into a corner until I get to leave. We know that it's unreasonable to feel this anxiety, we know people aren't always judging us, but for some reason we can't help but FEEL that way, ALL THE TIME. Nothing is more frustrating in the world. I cut myself off from nearly all of my family (though not necesarily because of this - some of them just need to go die and rot in a ditch - and yes, I really feel that way.) I've always avoided holidays and get togethers. I stayed home on Christmas because being in a group full of people makes me panic inside.


Irronically you wouldn't know it when I take my dogs to training, unless I'm being awkward and quiet. My dogs help that a lot. And I'm sure some people realize it when I get all frustrated and nervous when I screw up. xD But I really do have to thank my dogs for that, because it gets me out among people without feeling like a freak, cause we've all got something in common.

So I can also relate with not going through things all the way or just giving up. Another good reason I have my dogs. They wont let me.

[LukasGSD]

Originally Posted by ladyfreckles

I haven't taken my diet seriously.

You and me both.

[MustLoveGSDs]

Originally Posted by LukasGSD

I have major social anxiety issues. People will say "get over it" or "it will get better". But in my case, it's pretty severe that finding work, going out and doing things, even if it is just going shopping is difficult. I will end up backing myself into a corner until I get to leave. We know that it's unreasonable to feel this anxiety, we know people aren't always judging us, but for some reason we can't help but FEEL that way, ALL THE TIME. Nothing is more frustrating in the world. I cut myself off from nearly all of my family (though not necesarily because of this - some of them just need to go die and rot in a ditch - and yes, I really feel that way.) I've always avoided holidays and get togethers. I stayed home on Christmas because being in a group full of people makes me panic inside.


Irronically you wouldn't know it when I take my dogs to training, unless I'm being awkward and quiet. My dogs help that a lot. And I'm sure some people realize it when I get all frustrated and nervous when I screw up. xD But I really do have to thank my dogs for that, because it gets me out among people without feeling like a freak, cause we've all got something in common.

So I can also relate with not going through things all the way or just giving up. Another good reason I have my dogs. They wont let me.

I get social anxiety a lot!! Sometimes I can't even go into stores or restaurants. When I pull into a parking lot I sometimes scope out the inside of a place to see if anyone is in there, if there is no one and there are employees standing around I get too much anxiety and won't go in. I feel like their eyes are just on me, watching, and I get too nervous...even though I have nothing to be nervous about! I guess I feel like they will just talk about me when I leave or something. There was one time where I went into a chili's to order takeout and had a guy cashier. A few days later I wanted to get something else there and when I pulled my car up I noticed the same guy inside so I avoided and went back home because I figured he would remember me and it would be awkward, like I was only going in there to see him or something, ahh I dont know..crazy huh! Theer are many times with new places that I will pull into the parking lot and watch people go in and out just so I can make sure I know where to go and not look retarded because I hate when I go to a new place and try the wrong door and it's locked because it's the exit or something and I feel everyone is staring. I feel really awkward if I am at a mall by myself and walking around, I'm thinking "should I make eye contact with people or not", half the time I just look at my phone pretending I'm texting someone, I have even put my phone up to my ear and pretended I'm listening to someone talk just to avoid looking at strangers.

I feel really awkward at family gatherings. It's so strange! I've known these people my whole life but it still seems so awkward. I guess when people are awkward then I become awkward. I am so easy going and can strike up conversations with strangers like I've known them my whole life, I can be extremely out going, but the second I encounter an awkward person then I start reacting awkwardly and it's difficult to get through. It took me a long time before I could order food or call a business over the phone. I have never been to any sort of doctor for a diagnosis but I'm sure I've got some kind of anxiety problem going on.

I can chat all day and night with someone about dogs though!

[LukasGSD]

Originally Posted by MustLoveGSDs

I get social anxiety a lot!! Sometimes I can't even go into stores or restaurants. When I pull into a parking lot I sometimes scope out the inside of a place to see if anyone is in there, if there is no one and there are employees standing around I get too much anxiety and won't go in. I feel like their eyes are just on me, watching, and I get too nervous...even though I have nothing to be nervous about! I guess I feel like they will just talk about me when I leave or something. There was one time where I went into a chili's to order takeout and had a guy cashier. A few days later I wanted to get something else there and when I pulled my car up I noticed the same guy inside so I avoided and went back home because I figured he would remember me and it would be awkward, like I was only going in there to see him or something, ahh I dont know..crazy huh! Theer are many times with new places that I will pull into the parking lot and watch people go in and out just so I can make sure I know where to go and not look retarded because I hate when I go to a new place and try the wrong door and it's locked because it's the exit or something and I feel everyone is staring. I feel really awkward if I am at a mall by myself and walking around, I'm thinking "should I make eye contact with people or not", half the time I just look at my phone pretending I'm texting someone, I have even put my phone up to my ear and pretended I'm listening to someone talk just to avoid looking at strangers.

I feel really awkward at family gatherings. It's so strange! I've known these people my whole life but it still seems so awkward. I guess when people are awkward then I become awkward. I am so easy going and can strike up conversations with strangers like I've known them my whole life, I can be extremely out going, but the second I encounter an awkward person then I start reacting awkwardly and it's difficult to get through. It took me a long time before I could order food or call a business over the phone. I have never been to any sort of doctor for a diagnosis but I'm sure I've got some kind of anxiety problem going on.

I can chat all day and night with someone about dogs though!

Glad I'm not the only one that blatantly hates using phones. I hate talking on phones more than I do in person and I'm not really sure why. I've had to have somebody set up a job interview for me by pretending to be me. I went to the interview feeling confident only to freak out during it and totally ruin myself even though I prepped way in advance. I can go into restraunts, but I usually have to be somewhere my back is against the wall...

I have gotten a LOT better at looking peole in the eye when I talk to them, but most of the time I ask myself. Am I staring? Am I holding it too long am I not holding it long enough. Then it turns to a game of shifty eyes and I probably look as paranoid as I am. LOL

I'm also pretty sure one of our pizza delivery guys thinks we're crazy, for we havn't been cooking a lot lately. Lmao

There's a lot of weird quirks pertaining to this but..yeah.

[wyoung2153]

When Titan was 6 mo I adopted 2 Kittens. I have grown up with both and missed my fuzzy little snooty independent felines. I thought that since they would all be babies that they could get along. Titan loved to chase them and "play" with them and after a few months I just couldn't have them anymore. Not to mention at the time I lived in a smaller place so it was a lot to handle. I ended up finding a new home for Raja and Simba (my kitties) and made sure they were in a good place, a friend of mine and her fiance just moved into a house and loved them. I felt HORRIBLE for giving them up. That's just so awful to think about. They didn't do anything, they were so good and cuddly, but were scared to bits of Titan. I call every now and then to see how they are doing.. and the last call I did was last month and she, the friend, said that she gave them away to somebody else. Just didn't want them anymore.. and now I feel so horrible all over again. I wish I hadn't gotten them, and they had gone to ONE loving home, or was able to see in the future to know I would be in a house in the next 2 years and have room for them and maybe Titan and them would have bonded

[Germanshepherdlova]

Originally Posted by LukasGSD

I have gotten a LOT better at looking peole in the eye when I talk to them, but most of the time I ask myself. Am I staring? Am I holding it too long am I not holding it long enough. Then it turns to a game of shifty eyes and I probably look as paranoid as I am. LOL

I get like that sometimes, feel awkward about the look the person in the eye deal. They say if you don't maintain good eye contact then it appears you are hiding something but how the heck do you maintain good eye contact without feeling like some weirdo staring into someone else's eyes?

[Germanshepherdlova]

Feel like a naughty child if I was participating in a thread that got closed down.Whenever I have a debate on a forum I have to remind myself that I don't know from Adam whom I am talking to so why should I care so much about what they say or think.

[NewbieShepherdGirl]

I have had the same best friend for about ten years. To me that's a lot of history with a person. I have loved her dearly and she knows things about me that nobody else knows. Our friendship is quickly disintegrating and I guess my confession is part of me doesn't care. We have always been two people of very strong opinions and while we usually agree, we don't always but it has never been a problem in the past. We would talk about it, debate about it, it was fine. Now it's different. It's like she's become a whole different person. She is totally self absorbed, and while that is annoying I figure it's just a phase. The part that's breaking us is she is so rude! She has recently decided that if I have an opinion on anything and it doesn't align with her opinion that it's not valid and that she needs to beat it to death. I'll tell her I've had enough, that I don't like circular arguments and this is what this is becoming and so I'd like to just agree that we don't agree. This is unacceptable to her. One argument in particular we've been having since I was a senior in high school. That was 3 years ago!!!!!!!!! Ridiculous! It's a stupid argument anyway. It's an argument over our different views on doctrine. I will never agree with her, but I don't have to IT'S NOT MY FAITH! Just like she doesn't have to agree with me because it doesn't affect her. This isn't even something that would be like a deal breaker as far being a Christian goes. It is little. I mean in a way I guess it's big but I've even posed it to her this way, "If you're right I'm still going to heaven, yes?" Her: "Well...yeah." Me: "And if I'm right you're still going to heaven, yes?" Her: "Yeah." Me: "Then freakin' let it go! I would understand if you thought something bad was going to happen to me, but you don't! You're just fighting to be right and I will never ever in a gazillion years believe that you're right! So let it go." I mean seriously. I'm not trying to change her beliefs. I personally just don't care anymore what she believes.

Then yesterday we were talking about the lifestyle a friend of ours has chosen to live. I think that said friend is being irresponsible. She's 21, she's not in school and also doesn't have a full time job. Why? She doesn't want one. WELL WHO DOES?! I certainly don't want to be in school. I certainly would rather stay at home and bake and do such things but guess what? That's not the responsible thing to do. That's what I think. Then my best friend was like, "How could you say that?! You're supposed to be on her side." Me: "I'm supposed to agree with her just because we're friends?" Her: "Well...no...but she gets told all the time how what she's doing isn't responsible or the correct thing to do." Me: "Uh-huh..." Her: "Well maybe you should just support her. She doesn't need to be judged by you." Me: "You know what, I don't have to agree with her. You don't agree with a lot of people yet it's ok as long as it's something you don't believe in? No. I love her. I think she has a lot of potential that she is just squandering away being lazy." Her: "She's not being lazy. She's helping with her family. She's learning the skills it takes to be married. She's focusing on other people rather than herself instead of being so self centered." And this is where I came close to losing it because you know what that whole thing was a load of crap (this was the condensed version, whole conversation took well over an hour.). I'm sorry, I've never been married but I would venture to guess that it takes more to be a good wife than to be able to bake a loaf of bread! She doesn't have to worry about anything. She doesn't have to think about how much money she spends on groceries. She doesn't have to worry about paying bills. She doesn't have to worry about rent. Why? She lives with her parents. I'm sorry but I don't think living with your parents indefinitely prepares you to be a good wife. When I get married my husband will have a partner who has had to do things on her own. Who knows the value of thing. Who has priorities and understands that sometimes you can't do things like go see concerts (something both my best friend and my other friend do frequently) because oh I don't know I may you want to eat this month!

I was also a little ticked at her insinuating that I was self focused because I don't live with my mom. At 19 I took on raising a 17 year old, while my dad was dying of cancer. Very selfish. I took care of my dad while he went crazy and deteriorated right in front of my eyes. Very selfish. I recently drove over an hour home just to be with my Uncle who's mother was dying. Said mother (my grandmother) was a wretched woman who I could not have cared less if I ever saw, let alone look like that. She looked so much like my dad lying there that I thought I was going to vomit, but I held my Uncle while he told me all about how the hardest thing he ever had to do what hold his dad's hand while he died. Guess what? I KNOW because I've done it! Selfish. I spent the entire weekend I should have spent studying for the 3 tests I had this week consoling my family members who had just lost their mother/grandmother. Selfish. What has my best friend done for her family (living at home I might add)? Absolutely nothing. They barely see her because she is so wrapped up in her own life.

Long story short I guess my confession is, the older I get the less tolerance I have for ignorant, and she is not only proving every time I talk to her that she's ignorant but that she's also incredibly selfish and I'm just fed up with it.

[brembo]

I framed John Wayne Gacy.


Wanna see my clown painting?

[Germanshepherdlova]

Very upset today. Was very offended by a preacher at sunday school to the point that I did not attend night service. Then a family member sent a downright mean message home for my 8 yo daughter to relate to me because of me not attending church. The preacher isn't perfect, why am I thought to be the one with the problem for being offended? I am so frustrated. I have half a mind to find a new church to attend but if I do that-my parents will be very upset and it will be a big deal. Not sure if they'd even talk to me again. Very hard decision and not a very good day. Glad I could share this here because there is no one that I can confide to around here. I could tell my DH but he's of a different religion and would just talk badly about my church so I am not even going to go there.