I just need to get this off my chest-death of a friend - Page 2 - German Shepherd Dog Forums

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Old 08-23-2011, 09:11 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by onyx'girl View Post
There was a dd incident in my area on Sunday...a person pulled out at a high rate of speed and hit a motorcyclist. The person on the bike died instantly with her husband watching the whole time...a group of bikes, they were the last ones in the line.
The dd was leaving an end of season party fought with his wife over the keys, took off with other people in the van.
It just takes a second to be in the wrong place at the wrong time...Rest in Peace to your friend and Deanna.
It's all so sad and unnecessary...

Rest in Peace to Kyle and Deanna.

Last edited by Castlemaid; 08-25-2011 at 05:06 PM. Reason: Edited quoted text as above.
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Old 08-23-2011, 09:32 PM   #12 (permalink)
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I"m so sorry for your loss. It's always hard to lose someone close but especially so when it's unexpected and without reason. May you find peace past your grief. RIP Kyle.
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Old 08-23-2011, 09:33 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Losing someone special so quickly and unexpectedly can leave you numb. Then, over time, the feelings of grief come tumbling out. Cherish the memories and allow the feelings and thoughts to come out. It takes a long time to heal such a loss.
You have my deepest sympathy.
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Old 08-25-2011, 12:17 AM   #14 (permalink)
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I'm sorry you lost your dear friend. Take it easy and take the time to grieve in your own way. Again, I'm sorry to hear of your loss.
Yvette
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Old 08-25-2011, 12:32 AM   #15 (permalink)
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We'll never understand why bad things happen to good people. It isnt your fault. You had no way to know how the night would go. Its a sad and tragic loss. Grieve and remember him. If it might help, write to him. Write a letter to him. When i lost my friend Derrick, i was so angry. I was mad at everyone. I kept the text messages between us on my phone for over a year. I finally sad down one night and wrote a letter to him. I took the letter to where he was buried, spoke to him and burned the letter. For me, burning the letter helped. I did the same thing when i lost my cat. You'll find what works for you to help your through. Know that he doesnt blame you. Nobody could have known what the future held and its not your fault for what happened that night. He's forever in your heart and you'll see him again some day. Its okay to be angry and its okay to cry. The pain will always be there but it was ease with time.
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Old 08-25-2011, 12:41 AM   #16 (permalink)
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There is a message in this song. I hope it helps you remember that it is okay to cry and be hurt. Again, i'm sorry for your loss.




Through the back window of a '59 wagon
I watched my best friend Jamie slippin' further away
I kept on waving 'till I couldn't see her
And through my tears, I asked again why we couldn't stay
Mama whispered softly, Time will ease your pain
Life's about changing, nothing ever stays the same

And she said, How can I help you to say goodbye?
It's OK to hurt, and it's OK to cry
Come, let me hold you and I will try
How can I help you to say goodbye?

I sat on our bed, he packed his suitcase
I held a picture of our wedding day
His hands were trembling, we both were crying
He kissed me gently and then he quickly walked away
I called up Mama, she said, Time will ease your pain
Life's about changing, nothing ever stays the same

And she said, How can I help you to say goodbye?
It's OK to hurt, and it's OK to cry
Come, let me hold you and I will try
How can I help you to say goodbye?

Sitting with Mama alone in her bedroom
She opened her eyes, and then squeezed my hand
She said, I have to go now, my time here is over
And with her final word, she tried to help me understand
Mama whispered softly, Time will ease your pain
Life's about changing, nothing ever stays the same

And she said, How can I help you to say goodbye?
It's OK to hurt, and it's OK to cry
Come, let me hold you and I will try
How can I help you to say goodbye?

How can I help you to say goodbye?
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Old 08-25-2011, 10:58 AM   #17 (permalink)
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I am so sorry about your friend. There is no "right way" to grieve, no time table for how long it will take. No one person experiences it the same. Just know that when you need to cry- cry. When you need to be angry- be angry. And it IS okay to be angry- at the person who hit him, at God, at yourself, even at him (for leaving you). You may experience some of that, you may not. WHATEVER you feel, it is okay.

I lost a really good friend 3 years ago (this month) to cancer. She was 35, was misdiagnosed, told BY A GI DOCTOR, that she had a better chance of winning the lottery then she did of having colon cancer, despite the fact she had every classical symptom in the book. He told her she was "just too young" and "she was drug seeking" for the pain. When one of the docs we worked with finally examined her, he found a soft ball sized tumor in her rectum. Tests found another further up her rectum and metastasies to her liver, lungs, spine, and one kidney. 7 weeks from her diagnosis we were at her funeral. She died a horrible, painful death. She was 35 and had a 2 year old daughter. It took me forever to not be angry, not to cry and to start to heal. I kept her number in my phone for almost 2 years, I couldn't bring myself to erase it. We used to park next to each other on the parking deck at work and walk in together, I had to stop parking on that entire level and park somewhere else, I couldn't stand walking in without her. To this day, other than my animals, the only pictures I have framed in my house are of her.

Take your time grieving, and in time, it DOES get better. Soon you will smile when you remember him. You will think of the good times and laugh not cry. I can do that with Alison now. But is has taken a long time to get there. Someone set up a FaceBook page for her. I know that helped a lot for me. Seeing all the people that loved her and being able to post on it as well.

I wish you the best. You are in my thoughts.
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Old 08-25-2011, 01:00 PM   #18 (permalink)
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*many hugs and healing*

I am very sorry for the loss of your friend. I know all to well that feeling of guilt. Everyone deals with this differently, I believe you will find your way. Give yourself time, remember him as he was alive, not as he was in the casket. This was recently told to me at a friends funeral. Oddly enough it helps some.

*lots of hugs again*
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Old 08-25-2011, 01:08 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Sorry for your loss. Even though you know, I just want to repeat this to you-It's not your fault. You must let the guilt go, place the guilt where it belongs-on the person who chose to drink and drive.
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Old 08-25-2011, 01:14 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by DharmasMom View Post

I lost a really good friend 3 years ago (this month) to cancer. She was 35, was misdiagnosed, told BY A GI DOCTOR, that she had a better chance of winning the lottery then she did of having colon cancer, despite the fact she had every classical symptom in the book. He told her she was "just too young" and "she was drug seeking" for the pain. When one of the docs we worked with finally examined her, he found a soft ball sized tumor in her rectum. Tests found another further up her rectum and metastasies to her liver, lungs, spine, and one kidney. 7 weeks from her diagnosis we were at her funeral. She died a horrible, painful death. She was 35 and had a 2 year old daughter. It took me forever to not be angry, not to cry and to start to heal. I kept her number in my phone for almost 2 years, I couldn't bring myself to erase it. We used to park next to each other on the parking deck at work and walk in together, I had to stop parking on that entire level and park somewhere else, I couldn't stand walking in without her. To this day, other than my animals, the only pictures I have framed in my house are of her.

Take your time grieving, and in time, it DOES get better. Soon you will smile when you remember him. You will think of the good times and laugh not cry. I can do that with Alison now. But is has taken a long time to get there. Someone set up a FaceBook page for her. I know that helped a lot for me. Seeing all the people that loved her and being able to post on it as well.

I wish you the best. You are in my thoughts.
I'm so sorry for you friend Alison, it must have been so hard on her daughter.

His Facebook is still up and people have been posting on there rest in peace, etc. My friend and I were reading through them and laughing at how he didn't even know some of them or he didn't even like them. It was strange, because we knew exactly what he would have said to them if he was still here.

As an update, Salamanca, the man who hit them has officially been charged.

For anyone who is interested- here is the story (an update released today).

Witnesses: SUV speed reached 80-100 mph
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