Anyone wish their inlaws didn't ALWAYS have to

[KohleePiper]

Anyone wish their inlaws didn't ALWAYS have to stay at your home during the holidays?? OMG the holidays are my favorite time of year and I have to endure the drama that DH's family brings.

I come from an Italian family that is very social-- we're always having parties. We have a small family (which is odd for being Italian) but we are very tight and have a LOT of friends we consider our family. DH has an enormous family and is completely disfunctional (his parent's divorced after 27 years of marriage and let's just say there was a bit of a battle). His father has remarried. Our families are like night and day. It's been so hard to get used to this.

For holidays, DH family NEVER steps up to the plate. All they do is let us do all the work while they bring the drama. I have a monster in law for a MIL too which makes me look forward to dealing with her

Even though I don't have the biggest house in the family I still am the one to host all of the holidays because my house is in the middle for everyone's commute. The part that makes me mad is that we already have 4 large dogs. DH's family always brings their viscious ankle biters and big slobbery dogs that have dominance issues but NEVER ask if they can bring their dogs. It drives me nuts. So now, on top of having 15 people in my house there's 7 dogs that don't get along. That's problem #1.

Problem #2 is the drama. In addition to everything else, Monster makes a big ordeal about my family always including DH's father and step mother in our holiday plans. She is upset to have to see the man she's still in love with sporting his new wife. To me and my family, that's her problem. No matter what happened, that is still DH's father and she needs to put her feelings aside for her kids. We have told both his father and mother to do this for their kids or don't come! Simple as that and each time they deal with each other it will make it that much easier so that when grandbabies come the tension in the room won't make ice cubes.

I keep my house sparkling clean all the time but I go into overdrive when DH's family is coming. Even though they live 45 mins away they feel the need to have to spend the night at our house too...as if I wanted them around for more than 10 mins!!

Anyone else wish they could pick their family or tell certain family members to get lost??????????? /rant

[Dainerra]

tell her if she doesn't like your rules, she is welcome to take a flying leap.

actually, have your husband tell her. otherwise, you are the sneaking DIL from Hades. and oh the "poor me" stories she will weave into her drama.

[Shandril2]

I would love to have my inlaws stay over for a couple days.
They won't because our house is so small & they only live an hour away.

[VectorSketcher]

Oh man, that sounds like a movie I saw sometime ago, I can't remember the name of it now though. But I do not envy you, I am sorry you have so much trouble during the holidays that definitely doesn't make for a Merry Christmas! But I have to say, your a total trooper for dealing with it all year after year, I am not sure I would allow it to happen again, ha ha! But most of my family is estranged, see them rarely, we are all happy with it, and as for my DH's family they show up once a year at Thanksgiving, but they do not bring the issues you get to endure. Good Luck to you, and I hope you manage to have some enjoyment.

[longhairshepmom]

jeez, guess it should make me feel better not to be the only one.
But for some reason, it doesn't
Gosh, I dread those get togethers..

[amcipar]

My MIL won't come to my house because she is scared of Sig. Any chance you could teach your pack to bark on command to scare the bejesus outta her =) j/k

[Daisy1986]

I am sorry I could not help but read this with a smile on my face. I really would welcome all of this! I know then I would have it and go crazy. Minus the drama.

Just the people the doggies the activity. It sounds wonderful. My mom, dad and brother are passed away. DH's family is in South Africa. His Mom came once for Christmas. It was terrible, of course. But I miss her still. I wish I had a house full this Christmas. Tons of people to shop for...etc.

I know I am a nut. But you do miss it when it is gone.

Sorry you have to go through all this, think positive, hopefully this year will be better. Just look at them and think I'm gonna miss you when your gone.

[SunCzarina]

Originally Posted By: Daisy1986I know I am a nut. But you do miss it when it is gone.

yes. My family never minded the dogs - we always had GSDs growing up so mine clowning around in the presents was just laughed at. Then my oldest sister moved to florida, closer to my folks and my other sister drags her children there for a warm vacation. Warm xmas seems freakish to me and since I also celebrate the pagan holiday, I'm the one who stays home.

The first christmas without going to my sister's for presents and dinner, xmas eve at my house, that seemed empty with just my husband and kids. We did the usual of visiting his family later in the afternoon on xmas day.

The following year, my husband was no longer with us. The pain was too fresh for his family and I. I didn't take the children to see his family that year. By the following year, the matriarch was in a nursing home and his family scattered. She passed in january of last year.

So use your dog to scatter the inlaws to the hotels. Enjoy the fights and the stress.

Blessed be the full holidays. Lessed be the empty ones.

[GSDolch]

I feel your pain. Only thing I dont agree with is that people think his mom should put aside her feelings for her adult children. If they were kids I could see.

But then again, if it were me I just wouldnt go and try to plan something with my kids for another time.

Sounds like she may like the drama around it and you may need to put your foot down on the rules. DH and you should try and do it together. I was there once, and I lost it on my MIL and said some pretty nasty things...that I actually meant, but could have handled better if I wasnt under so much stress from holding it all in.

[allieg]

You do miss it a little when it is gone.I would like to have one more good holiday with everyone, but that won't happen.It's just me, the kids and Hubby.I have a bro that is not interested in getting together with me unless Mom is home from Fla and Hubby's family has a hair across there (bleep) for no reason.We get to see them Xmas Eve,it's our once a year visit.I hope they don't want us this year but I'm sure Hubby will bend over backwards to make sure it happens.They live in NH still the rest of my family is in Fla or ME.

So to anyone w/o family for the holidays,I'll still be here to keep you company.We can have our own Holiday Party right here......