What would your ad say?

[Miss Molly May]

This is hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[onyx'girl]

Will be put down if someone doesn't adopt this borderline senior, no health issues known at this time. Good hips and elbows. Not to be used for breeding.
She loves to play but gets distracted easily. We also have two of her offspring available, package deal or can separate.

[Zisso]

forgetful, obsessive, compulsive, easily distracted female to any home that will take her. Will pay you $xx.xx if you come n get her tonight!

(That said, I cannot imagine my two ever giving me up no matter what!)

[Vinnie]

Need to rehome due to a bad habit of shoving black boxes in our faces and digging holes in the yard and burring things in them. Somewhat aggressive if you try to help or relieve yourself on these special holes. Can learn new things but is a little slow. Still needs some basic training. Likes to hide and make you find her so a fenced yard would be a plus. Walks well with a leash in hand and likes it when you chase a ball for her. Picky eater but gets along well with most dogs and other animals. Would be best as an only human. Very loyal and caring. To good home only. All potential adopters will be screened.

[BowWowMeow]

This is a good one!

Middle aged, bossy, high-maintenance female in need of an active home. Needs to be the top human in the household. She is on special food and does not tolerate grocery store brands. If she is not fed on time and does not get regular, daily exercise she gets very cranky. Has extensive allergies and requires expensive herbs. Easy to pill. Prefers off leash walking. Loves medium to large dogs and cats but is very picky about human companions. Children are ok in small doses but has been known to snap, especially when she doesn't get enough sleep. Comes with a an 18 yo grey cat with numerous and time-consuming health problems who likes to snuggle and is very bossy.

Serious inquiries only please.

[Good_Karma]

Free to a good home two humans, prefer they go to same home as they are quite bonded. One male and one female, both from middle class working lines, unaltered and in good health, UTD on shots.

Both fall within breed standard and are untitled but have gone through several obedience classes. Both are registered and come with papers.

The male has an excellent throwing arm, the female is better suited to jolly ball soccer.

Both require daily grooming and baths, but are otherwise low maintenance. Neither are fluent in our language but respond well to visual cues. Simple phrases like "Throw the ball right NOW" and "Put my food bowl on the floor" seem to be understood.

[JeanKBBMMMAAN]

These are thoroughly enjoyable.

What our dogs have to put up with!

[VomBlack]

Young, stubborn female to good home. Appears to be in good health but unable to throw tennis balls for hours on end.. so I must make room for one that can. Seemingly resistant to hypnosis. Impossible to keep off the furniture. Willing to part with in exchange for a large pepperoni pizza, offer is non negotiable.

[Mary Jane]

Almost senior female free to the right home. Veeery soft: if I approach her she immediately sinks to the floor and requests a pet. high requirement for attention with some signs of separation anxiety. great human for the right dog.

[Lilie]

Alpha bitch in need of good home. Must not have another female in the household. High prey drive, will not focus on task at hand when other animals are present. High food drive. Not very vocal. Loyal. Has some of the greats on her papers, not line bred. Not a couch potato. Previous owner stated she bites, but I haven't seen it. MRI certified hips and elbows. Would recommend a good OB class.

Still working on house breaking, but coming along fine. Re-homing fee applies.