Communication Gap

[JanaeUlva]

Pat McConnell has written a few books that are very good, IMO, in that they really made me think about the human-dog relationship from a different perspective. It can be difficult to understand our dogs due to the simple fact that we are two different species so we don't think alike. I know, this sounds pretty obvious, even duh, but many of the problems people have with their dogs are often based in this simple reality. All in all, in our humanness, we can have a hard time truly understanding our dogs simply because we cannot get beyond our own human mind, popular human based myths, and our tendency to believe what we want to believe. We have a communication gap!

Albert Einstein's theory of insanity says "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." I see humans do this all the time! But a dog learns very quickly what is successful and does not repeat behavior over and over if the outcome is not favorable.

Pat McConnell talks in her book that "if we are in fact the "smart ones" then we have to meet our dogs more than halfway. The fact of the matter is often dogs don't want what we want and forgetting this can cause a lot of pain and suffering."

These are the two books Pat has written that I particularly liked - "The Other End of the Leash" and "For the Love of a Dog: Understanding Emotion in You and Your Best Friend"

For example, here is a iink to her website and this particular article talks about how hugging is so primate She mentions in her book that even bringing up the topic of how hugging and even petting is primate, can cause people to get very angry. Hugging is such a big way for humans to express affection that even hinting that dogs might not like it as much as we think they like it, well it upsets people. Pat McConnell article - hugging

Humans are known taxonomically as Homo sapiens (Latin: "wise man" or "knowing man") . . . I have to wonder if our dogs always think so

[onyx'girl]

My dogs love hugging, I don't randomly hug them, but when I do they enjoy it...Karlo comes to me and leans in for hugs, will stay there until I make him move away.
I think our own dogs are fine with it, when it is a stranger or child doing it, then the dog may not feel comfortable.
If my dogs didn't want a hug, I'd respect it.
Pats on heads are something they don't appreciate...

[Cassidy's Mom]

Those are both excellent books! I have dogs that like being hugged, but I wouldn't try it with a strange dog, because many don't.

Keefer especially loves close physical contact, including hugs, and he's not that particular where it comes from, including total strangers, lol!

[msvette2u]

What gets me is when people attribute human expectations onto these animals.
For instance...thinking a dog shouldn't do A or B because they "ought to know better".
Usually with regards to kids or other animals.
My Dachshunds shouldn't kill a cat (for instance) because Fluffy is a part of my family, just like they are.
But dogs do not think like that - at all - to them, cats are prey.
And dogs get put to sleep over this kind of thing on a daily basis.

(FTR we only have an outdoor cat, because my dogs would kill an indoor one. I know this and I don't set them up to fail by introducing cats to the house and expecting them to not act like the dogs they are).

[JanaeUlva]

Yep Minka likes to be hugged too

If we play fetch and I try to hug her it is annoying to her. She doesn't seem to hate it but is truly happier when I just throw the ball and skip the hugging.

After reading those books I also have to think wonder just a little, how much we have trained our dogs to enjoy our primate ways of affection and to be aware of when they might not enjoy it as much as other times.

[onyx'girl]

I don't want my DH hugging me when he's working either! PU! Time and a place for hugs, it isn't a reward like a ball or tug for sure where dogs are concerned.
If I tried to hug my dog while he was in drive, I know he'd wrench free. Communication is what it is all about...people who have 'gaps' in it are the ones that seem to have so much trouble.

[JanaeUlva]

Originally Posted by onyx'girl

I don't want my DH hugging me when he's working either! PU! Time and a place for hugs, it isn't a reward like a ball or tug for sure where dogs are concerned.
If I tried to hug my dog while he was in drive, I know he'd wrench free. Communication is what it is all about...people who have 'gaps' in it are the ones that seem to have so much trouble.

Exactly!! I really didn't want this thread to be about hugging and your comment that gaps in communication cause people and dogs problems is what I was trying to get at. Hugging was simply a small example.

FYI: I don't normally hug Minka while playing fetch. It was a test where I made a point of watching her reaction.

During training, how many people miss the small signs of stress in their dog? Instead they go merrily on their way without a clue that their dog isn't having the fun they think it is.

[onyx'girl]

Or keep on training to get the best performance when they should have quit when the dog gave them a great ending that they didn't recognize? Always best to end a session on a good note, than a fail.

I got your fetch point! Just expanding on it some