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What do you tell people?

102K views 155 replies 104 participants last post by  car2ner 
#1 ·
When you have an aggressive/fearful dog, or one that you don't want pet/doesn't want or like to be pet and people are interested in interacting?

Reading a few threads recently I realized that there are a lot more nippy/aggressive/fearful dogs owned here than I thought with great owners managing them.

So when you're out in public with your dog that you don't want pet for whatever reason, what do you tell people? Do you not care and just sound rude? Do you try to explain it? Lie?

As most of you know, Frag has had weird aggression issues in the past, none involving lunging/snapping/biting, and only growling, but still not something I would ever let get to the point, so when we're out in public I do not let strangers pet him. I'm finding it more difficult to convey my reasoning to them, and it's getting on my last nerve. If I don't reason, they don't listen. I don't want to come off as a complete witch before they do anything wrong, but they will do something wrong if I don't have a great reason and I don't want that happening. Just don't want to put Frag in the situation, even if he appears absolutely fantastic with strange people now.

Usually conversations in public go something like this...

Them: "Oh, pretty dog, what's his name?"
Me: "Frag" (apparently this is permission for them to pet my dog..)
Them: *reaches to pet*
Me: Please don't pet my dog. *body blocking/moving*
Them: "Why not?"

Then I either say he doesn't like to be pet and they freak out saying he's aggressive (which I don't want people to think), or I'll say that he has allergies and can't be pet and they condescendingly question it while I want to punch them in their face.

I don't put myself in the position to be approached by many, usually I walk away when I see their interest, but when I do it's so annoying and frustrating. I'd prefer not to be a witch about it, but it's hard to find the right way not to.

So what's everyone else's line?
 
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#122 ·
Lanee, my GSD, is very similar to a lot of these stories. She is not a people person by any means, but once she gets to know you, she'll demand ample butt scratching and ball playing.

But for the most part, she's aloof around strangers and will generally be indifferent to me stopping and talking to people or whatever I need to do.

But when folks ask me if they can pet her or try to pet her, I let them know that she doesn't like being petted by folks she doesn't know and would prefer not to be petted. Surprisingly, most people understand and I haven't had anyone really disregard that yet.
 
#123 ·
I just posted in Agression forum about some aggressioi that happened this weekend, so this topic is near and dear for me right now. Went to the pet store to get him a muzzle, with my GSD on short leash, right next to my leg. I am at the cash register and an employee comes over to sqat down and start petting him.

Me: He's not as friendly as he looks, pet him at your own risk.

Her--walked away immediately

That worked pretty well..........
 
#124 ·
When I get in that situation I just say "no pet". Or "sorry no pet". They generally understand and it's a none rude way to tell them no. It's worked well for me. Of course you always run into the "expert" that knows how to approach an "aggressive" dog. Then I face them directly and just say no in a stern voice. Sometimes you just have to be that way with some people.

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#125 ·
I completely agree with the attitude that the dogs comfort comes above a strangers desire to pet. Nikolai does not like strangers on his property. He will warn and avoid until I tell him enough. When out in public people ask to pet or is he friendly. After 2 years of the excuse game, I simply say "no". I was worried that people would think he was aggressive and dangerous etc. But eventually it dawned on me that this is only a problem for them not me. So my attitude has changed. No he isn't stranger friendly. No he isn't a rabbid killer either. He is protecting and guarding his pack and his den. That's his job period. If people don't understand too bad! I have had the debate discussion to the point of anger and hurt feelings with my own family. Mother and mother in law both said they had never known a dog they couldn't pet. Well guess what? Now you have. If I approached you or brought him into your home then its on me if he isn't friendly and cuddly. But I don't. We keep our distance for good reasons. Yes he's gorgeous. No he can't be touched. Simple
 
#126 · (Edited)
Usually conversations in public go something like this...

Them: "Oh, pretty dog, what's his name?"
Me: "Frag" (apparently this is permission for them to pet my dog..)
Them: *reaches to pet*
Me: Please don't pet my dog. *body blocking/moving*
Them: "Why not?"

Then I either say he doesn't like to be pet and they freak out saying he's aggressive (which I don't want people to think), or I'll say that he has allergies and can't be pet and they condescendingly question it while I want to punch them in their face.

I don't put myself in the position to be approached by many, usually I walk away when I see their interest, but when I do it's so annoying and frustrating. I'd prefer not to be a witch about it, but it's hard to find the right way not to.

So what's everyone else's line?
Lol. That conversation reminds me of some of my own interactions with other people while walking my dog!

My dog isn't necessarily people aggressive; he has never gone out of his way to attack or chase a person. But if he feels like someone is acting in a threatening manner or he is unsure of their intentions (especially at the house), he will try to take charge and deal with the threat (real or perceived) on his own...obviously my training with him is still a work in progress.

I actually try to find people who want to meet and interact with my dog, simply to give him more exposure and get him more socialized. The introductions and meetings, however, happen on my terms, meaning I'll tell people that they need to stand back at first and follow my instructions as I lead my guy through the process. And yes, I state very clearly that they can't simply pet him right off the bat; my guy doesn't like getting pet by strangers, plain and simple. However once he has met that person and feels comfortable with them being close to him, he is more than willing to accept all kinds of pets and body rubs.

I think you're reactions to random strangers trying to pet your dog are perfectly acceptable. The GSD is not a breed that opens up to random strangers (that's actually stated in the breed's description in the AKC and other places). Some people just don't know any better and think that because they pet the random lab they met down the street, they can approach a GSD in the same way...WRONG!

My only bit of feedback would be to try to incorporate more introductions and meet-and-greets with other people on your walks (if its feasible at least). The more your dog gets used to meeting other people, the better off everyone will be.
 
#127 ·
Holy thread revival Batman!

I have a "Do Not Pet" patch on Amina's collar, and when she's in her Harness both sides have "Do Not Pet" and "In Training". When people ask about the signs, I just say she was a rescue and is timid and that's usually the end of it. When people ask what she's in training for, I tell them, "the zombie outbreak."


This patch is also on her harness.



 
#128 ·
I have a beautiful 5 month old dark sable pup that everyone wants to touch. However, my beautiful pup is very reactive to strangers touching her or even focusing on her up close. I just tell others that she is in training and touching her isn't a good idea right now due to her being insecure. Although she's never showed any sign of aggression, biting, etc. It's very hard when you have a reactive pup because a lot of people are careless. I have had kids literally try walking right up behind her to touch her with parents watching. Almost everyone walks right towards her staring her down. Too many people have no idea how to approach a strange dog.
 
#129 ·
It is really to bad to read that young dogs are not able to have people approach them without reacting. Onyx was very reactive after her spay at 6 months, she hated women.
Then she became sketchy with toddler age, so management was key.
Because Onyx is this way, I tend to try to keep my dogs bubbles big, and manage who or what is approaching them....not so much in fear of what my dogs may do, but because idiots are everywhere.

Recently, I took my 7 month old pup to a car show and he was fine with everyone, even a doodle dog rushing him, had him staying neutral which diffused what could have been a bad experience.
Then the teenage 'queen' of the town we were at, (decked out in her tiara, glitter sash and other bling) asked if she could pet him...she approached hunched over with her hand out and very odd posturing. My super social puppy became instantly aloof, barely tolerated her and I did have his back, and kept it short, moved along. Since then, my pup has shown more aloof behaviors toward people he doesn't know, but isn't reactive at all.
 
#131 ·
When I had Brutus, people would want to touch him and get in his face. What has worked for me is that i tell them to keep away from me (who is on the other end of the leash)..because he is very protective of me. Its sort of gives a shock and awe factor and it usually is the trick for people to stay away.

I didnt mind people interacting with my dog, but sometimes i didnt i wanted to pass on all the niceties and explanation..

My Renzo is still a pup and i have him in as many positive interactive experiences as i can show him. As he gets older, and he understands his surroundings, i will be be more protective of him.
 
#132 ·
If a child approaches, I just hold my hand up and say "STOP", and then tell them "You should not talk to strangers, especially with pets. Where's your parents?" If the parents were standing there, after the "STOP" command I'd ask the child "Didn't your parents teach you not to talk to strangers?" and walk on by. I found if I initially said anything more than "Stop", it gave them bargaining chips. Making 100% certain they don't get bit is far more important than being kind.

I started giving adults treats to give Sammy and I'd just tell them I'm trying to socialize her to greet people, and ask them to just give her the treat then ignore her. It's easier for other people to look away from her, if I looked away from her. Try to keep the person's eye contact. Point at a street sign, a bush, a plane, their shirt, anything and ask a question, which takes the focus off your dog.

By six months later, around 14 months of age, Sammy gained confidence and stopped lunging at dogs or acting worried about approaching joggers or skate boards. She has learned to great people where they reach out and she rubs against their leg and lets them pet her briefly as we move on by. She is never going to like it, but she knows what is expected of her to do and is trustworthy now. I don't know if it's her age and maturing or the thousand trips out with the treat bag???

My best advice is to get a face halter so the dog cannot lunge, is under complete physical control. It intimidates people from approaching with the muzzle look, and knowing you can hold the 80 pound beast with little effort will make you more secure. When you are more secure, the dog is more secure. If you think its not safe to greet, then just hold your hand up like a traffic cop and say the universally understood human command "Stop", as you pass add "We don't talk to strangers" and keep on walking.
 
#133 ·
when walking down the path with the dog on my left, I often move over the other side so that I position myself between the dog and the person coming the other way just to avoid any accidents. Frankonian Germans being the obtuse people that they are, are usually irritated at this but I politely explain that i am simply putting myself between the dog's canine teeth (which are considerable) and their femoral artery. That usually ends the discussion quickly.
 
#134 ·
My Abby is aggressive towards everyone except 4 (maybe 5 if you include my exhusband) people on the planet if they walk into my house. She is aggressive towards other dogs as well so she plays with me in the backyard. My bf has a 45lb half lab/half beagle named Lily who she gives kisses to, but we minimize interaction for the most part because Abby can get overly excited and try to put a paw up on her, & being that shes 80lbs she could easily hurt Lily. She also can sometimes become hyper focused on Lily and this is when, in the past, she has tried to bite her. It has been some time now without any issues, but we (because of the possible terrible consequences of doing so) do not trust them to be alone in the house together. Abby is crate trained and if we leave Lily home will crate Abby. Lily goes to work with my bf to his company everyday so Abby has plenty alone time with me as well as if either of us are home they are out together. But, I digress- Abby is a sweet loving dog, but only to those 4 or 5 people, if in her house. She once got out of the yard because we had done some yard work and left a gate open. I started frantically calling for her and then I look up to see a male neighbor walking her up to the back, holding her by the collar. She (obviously) didnt maul him, nor became aggressive, so it's mostly to do with our home and when she walks with me on a leash. But, I mean except that I would love to enrich her life by being able to talk her places other than hiking in the woods (although I love that she is scary because Im a petite woman and feel much much safer with her), I do not mind that she is protective. When I take her to the vet I have her wear a cage style muzzle as she doesnt really mind it much and can still drink water but just cant bite anyone. I'd say the aggression at the vet is the highest priority of concern because I want them to be able to treat her if she is ill or in pain. My vet is awesome and is very patient/understanding about her so I am very thankful for that. & background info on Abby, when my ex and I got her as a puppy (not from a breeder/puppy store mind you because shes actually on 3/4 GSD and 1/4 Black Lab, just looks full GSD) we lived in a gigantic retirement community in Central FL and most of the dogs at the dog park were either old or too small for her to play with hense why she wasnt socialized enough.
 
#135 ·
Although Ranger doesnt have aggression issues he is still an animal with sharp teeth. He has his likes and dislikes of people that are his. Im not afraid to tell people dont touch him. Sometimes if somebody asks "Can I pet him?" and I dont want them to I just tell them God gave him teeth and he knows how to use them. I dont care if they like me or not. Its his job to protect me and my job to protect him.
 
#136 ·
I have a 10month old male GSD, he's obnoxiously friendly. I will not let anyone pet him on walks, mostly because his enthusiasm gets the best of him and that would freak out a stranger. He'd climb up one side of them and back down the other if given the opportunity. We work on that behaviour with friends who know him, know when to cut off contact and take away his reward of "OMG a new person", they reward his good behaviour - sitting or standing calmly to greet them.

1 - I walk in populated areas in town, there are people and dogs around us. I frequently am asked questions about him from friendly and likely some knowledgeable dog owners. We stop and he sits by my side while I talk.

2 - My answer when they ask to pet him is always the same "No, sorry you can't", when they are insistent and want to know why "He's learning to ignore distractions and you're helping his training doing just this, thank you"

Thankfully we've managed to avoid the people who reach a hand out before asking, I take a wide berth around kids running amok with parents who aren't paying attention. If anyone did get around my watchful eye, he's not aggressive so my stakes are lower. This response has worked well for me though without getting much flack from people or even many questions.
 
#138 ·
I say, "I am sorry. My pup is a very high spirited German Shepherd. It is important to me that his manners are impeccable before he gets to meet strangers."

It is not foolproof but it usually allows Ole to relax by sitting or lying down while I engage with the people for 10-15 seconds before we move on.
 
#140 ·
"Why not?" is a question you do not need to answer. Just repeat "Do not pet my dog" - leave off the "please" and maybe a little more forceful. You do not have to explain why you do not want them to pet your dog.

On the other hand, I've had good experiences with letting people pet my dog - Including one young man who said that dogs didn't like it when he petted them. I suggested he try holding out his hand for the dog to inspect and then petting the side of their neck/face under their ears. It went well and I think he was impressed with himself.
 
#142 ·
When they ask, it depends on how I am feeling and how much a young dog might have been through, which dog I have with me, and how the surroundings and person/people are. Trust your gut. If you see a harassed woman with a troop of brats that are not paying attention to her, then it's a no-brainer. "No." And if you want to soften it, "No, he is in training."

It does not hurt us or the dog for strangers to pet them, as long as the dog is not reactive and the person isn't a jerk. It is easy to come to the place where you just don't allow anyone to pet your dog. I have even heard folks praise the "Get your own dog!" idealogy. Certainly we are not required to let folks pet our dogs. But what do we tell high school and college kids when they come on wanting a puppy? We tell them it would be better to wait. Why? Because not everyone has the time to devote to owning a dog and giving it the training and attention it needs. So if we hold the "Get your own dog!" idea, then we are doing a disservice to dogs. Not everyone should own a dog. We have a dog, and the best thing for our dogs is for them to have plenty of positive experiences with strangers who are not threats. This way, when there is a real threat, our dogs may do what they should do, whereas where someone might be out of bounds, but not a threat, our dog will not get us both in trouble. Like when the five-year-old child dashes up while we are paying and throw her arms around our dog and hug it. If our dog has zero-stranger-experience, in that situation, the dog might do something regrettable. So I don't encourage folks to just say no to everyone. We have a lovely breed of dog that, when he is well groomed and well behaved, is a pleasure to folks that love our breed and to folks who love dogs in general.

It's a balance for me. But, if you feel selfish or mean or embarrassed to say no, so you give a whimpy no, or a no that means yes, or a yes when it should be no, than practice. Find a concise phrase that means exactly what you want and practice saying it in the mirror. "No, he is in training." or "No, he is not socialized." or "No." You want to come across in a way that this is not debatable. Because there are people who say, "All dogs love me." And you do not want that conversation to take place. "No, he bites."
 
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#144 ·
If our dog has zero-stranger-experience, in that situation, the dog might do something regrettable. So I don't encourage folks to just say no to everyone. We have a lovely breed of dog that, when he is well groomed and well behaved, is a pleasure to folks that love our breed and to folks who love dogs in general.
I agree completely. I figure that every time Ole and I are outside, we are acting as a breed ambassador for German Shepherds. People see a high spirited dog with an insatiable curiosity about the world around him.

I hope people see me as a breed owner working patiently and compassionately to help pup become a valued member of our neighborhood.
 
#143 ·
My dog wears a harness with Do Not Pet.

If that fails to register with them, then I'm more than happy to tell them no.

I will allow children to pet her only when they ask politley, I can at least instruct them on how to calmly approach a dog and pet her correctly.

Kids that yell 'Hey, Mister can I pet your dog', get the same answer as any adult that asks.

Sent from my LYA-L09 using Tapatalk
 
#146 ·
Max is VERY friendly with people, and we have socialized him extensively. Much like a lot of people posting here, he’s distractable during training (especially since he’s only four months old AND very friendly!). while training, usually at the class or when out walking, I will let others know that he’s training right now but we can come by when training is done to visit and introduce him to the (usually) child that wants to pet him if they will be around for a bit. Usually both the kiddo and Max get along famously after training is done.

He is still iffy with strange dogs, though, and I refrain from introducing him to them unless it’s a very controlled situation. Sometimes he’s good with them, and sometimes his hackles stand up and he growls. I don’t know why the difference in reactions, unless he’s getting some sense of something. It usually happens when the strange dog is a more aggressive breed that moves towards me. I have noticed that it’s usually pit bulls, mastiffs, and bulldogs that he does not seem to agree with.
569506
 
#147 ·
Since Max will be my service dog, I have already gotten him a vest with service dog patches that say “Do Not Pet, Service Dog”. He wears it out and about, and has begun to realize now that when I get it out, it means he is going somewhere.

Since he’s still young and a very friendly dog, I am working on training him to not approach strangers and to stay with me. It’s sometimes hard when he approaches first and I am trying to maintain his focus to avoid the pets, even when he’s wearing the vest. It’s a WIP.

But I ask those who approach to please not pet him until after I have managed him into a sitting position. Often if I am working Max, I’ll refrain from contact and just say “We are training. If you’re still around here in about 15 minutes, I’ll bring him by to say hello okay?”

Most of the time it’s kids. He loves kids and they see that and are drawn to him. The parents usually take one look at my nearly 80 lbs. boy and pull the kids away until I say that to them.
 
#148 ·
aww such a sweet story about MAX. Im kinda lucky, here, peeps fear the GSD and often run to the other side of the road when they see us coming. They fear more my St. Bernard, which is just terrifying to most Nepalese. But I do what u do with max, but Im not polite at all. If some silly kid with his wild pet on a rope approaches us, I bark as loud as Bernie, back off. I try to do it with a smile, in case Bernie is watching my face. But folks that approach big dogs like they were cartoon characters, need to rethink their behavior. well, maybe Bernie will teach them... he's awfully imposing for being such a sweetie...
 

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