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What do you tell people?

102K views 155 replies 104 participants last post by  car2ner 
#1 ·
When you have an aggressive/fearful dog, or one that you don't want pet/doesn't want or like to be pet and people are interested in interacting?

Reading a few threads recently I realized that there are a lot more nippy/aggressive/fearful dogs owned here than I thought with great owners managing them.

So when you're out in public with your dog that you don't want pet for whatever reason, what do you tell people? Do you not care and just sound rude? Do you try to explain it? Lie?

As most of you know, Frag has had weird aggression issues in the past, none involving lunging/snapping/biting, and only growling, but still not something I would ever let get to the point, so when we're out in public I do not let strangers pet him. I'm finding it more difficult to convey my reasoning to them, and it's getting on my last nerve. If I don't reason, they don't listen. I don't want to come off as a complete witch before they do anything wrong, but they will do something wrong if I don't have a great reason and I don't want that happening. Just don't want to put Frag in the situation, even if he appears absolutely fantastic with strange people now.

Usually conversations in public go something like this...

Them: "Oh, pretty dog, what's his name?"
Me: "Frag" (apparently this is permission for them to pet my dog..)
Them: *reaches to pet*
Me: Please don't pet my dog. *body blocking/moving*
Them: "Why not?"

Then I either say he doesn't like to be pet and they freak out saying he's aggressive (which I don't want people to think), or I'll say that he has allergies and can't be pet and they condescendingly question it while I want to punch them in their face.

I don't put myself in the position to be approached by many, usually I walk away when I see their interest, but when I do it's so annoying and frustrating. I'd prefer not to be a witch about it, but it's hard to find the right way not to.

So what's everyone else's line?
 
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#64 ·
Its not an opinion, its a FACT. Its not only Jerry Lee that needs changing:headbang: It starts with the owner, that is suppose to guide him and protect him. You are going to end up getting him in big trouble...I feel bad for the dog and whoever comes into contact with him:(
 
#67 ·
*waves* Hi Danielle!
It's ok to tell people "She/He's not friendly" Personally, I get kinda gushy with the person and slightly/subtly block them and talk to THEM. This reduces their excitement at meeting my dog long enough for her to relax and sniff them.
She's not a gregarious "pet me" dog but she's not aggressive. Alice doesn't have the best nerves and working on my own confidence as a handler has really improved her. Does that make sense? It goes back to that old "the leash is a telegraph" line of thinking.

I take her out a lot expose her to many different situations as much as possible. Gar does too.
The best experience of my life when my behaviorist boss was leaving one day; made it a point to walk back inside the building to tell me how "good she was" at my friend's military funeral. Lots of police officers, soldiers, and other GSDs (K9s from local cities) and the harleys of the Patriot Guard.
I work hard for those moments.

*popping into the OFF TOPIC THREAD JACK* for a moment. That poor dog sounds like a dog that was dumped at my job this week. An eight year old fear aggressive dog traded for a girlfriend and someone elses kid.
And, she's very sweet. Just a fearful biter.
 
#68 ·
OKGSD- have you read the laws in your state for having a 'dangerous dog'? It doesn't sound like your dog is being protective, but rather it's fearful. PLEASE get some help with training. The consequences of your dog biting someone are severe in your state... and you could lose your dog.
 
#72 ·
Do you really think that these are negative opinions and people are useless on here(some have owned GSD's longer then you are alive)? I DARE you to go talk to a behaviorist or a REAL trainer to see what there thoughts are. Then while you are at it, read the standard for a GSD. Your dog is fearful and fearful dogs bite. Take your dog to go get evaluated for schutzhund....see what they think. But thats okay, because that is what YOU want.

Here is some of the breed standard for your reading pleasure:)
The breed has a distinct personality marked by direct and fearless, but not hostile, expression, self-confidence and a certain aloofness that does not lend itself to immediate and indiscriminate friendships. The dog must be approachable, quietly standing its ground and showing confidence and willingness to meet overtures without itself making them.
 
#74 ·
My how negative we all are here! Person has a GSD who goes bonkers when a friendly person approaches him - why should anyone who loves the breed get the least bit upset about that?

We should forget the standard that says a GSD should be fearless "AND APPROACHABLE!".

He seems to like having such a poor temperamented dog who is seemingly (as much as we can tell from the OP description) an extreme FEAR Agression dog!

Let us hope that at least he is not breeding this dog! and thus perpetuating such an obvious (from his own description!) example of a FA GSD.
 
#75 ·
@ OKGSD....I truly hope that if you are ever out in public with your dog, that nothing happens to you in which may ever be in need for medical attention, or in need of any help from the police or possible bystander. Thats what happend to this gentleman. He needed emergency attention and no one could approach because of the his dog "was just trying to protect him". Just food for thought........
NY Cop Shoots Lunging Pitbull In East Village - YouTube
 
#78 ·
Going back to the original question. I had a variety of answers . I actually always was on the lookout for the out of the blue grab the GSD guy. As a result I was apt to say to people 50ft away. "She's not really feeling well today" or" She's a little hyper today so we need to keep moving." My least favorite but often used was "Daisy is not around children much and gets very excited so petting is a bad idea."
I usually took Daisy to parks ,fields ,farm roads all when no body else was there.I really spent alot of time managing but learned how to do it .
W/ Lucky who has some shoulder and hip problems I watch that carefully if we are out and I also let people know up front if they can or cant. While on vacation an older gentleman was slowly walking toward us and he kept giving us looks and gesturing w/ jhis hands. I explained Luck wouldnt charge him and we would wait to cross the bridge till he and his friend were over it. I explained that Lucky was ok but nervous too. He ignored his friend who was saying OH go pet him it will be good, Thank god the guy had better sense then his friend and did as I requested.BTW Lucky has some fear issues which have gotten better. It was a fluke we were the only rented cabin at the time and I swear it was 7:30am on a wedensday . Lucky for the most part tolerates petting but I'm very paranoid about having people touch my dog.
 
#79 ·
i have a dog like this, although with alot of training and conditioning and going to tons of places with him, he still does not like strange people appraoching him. even with a vest on as Diane had showed people still want to come see him, especially kids. when i seeing the kids approaching i am thankful they ask if they can pat my dog, and i just tell them sorry guys he's not used to kids, and i simply turn and walk away. with adults if they want to stop and chat i do that and keep some distance, just tell them he is in training and is supposed to be paying attention to me and i put him in an obedience command give him an occasional treat, talk to the stranger in a happy friendly voice. after a few minutes if i see he is comfortable and he makes the decision to go sniff, i will say just ignore him and let him sniff. i can't pass up the opportunity if he decides he wants to sniff someone, that means he's curious and the sniff without anyone forcing themselves on him will help his confidence. however, i am good at reading people to, and if some says "oh dogs like me" and still approach i say sorry we need to head home, and simply turn and walk away calmly. definitely, avoiding putting him in situation that he's not comfortable in with stupid people that force themselves on him.

i do not hide him away and avoid public places, never have, he's always been involved from day one with classes, agility, Ob training, tracking, always around people. in Club training we always set him up in different senarios with people. and it works well. its never ending. he has come a long way, and its all in how i handle things with him, learning how to read your dog, how you act, and alot Of obedience and focus.
 
#80 ·
I haven't read all the posts but gather there has been some disagreement.

My last girl Miki was a fear biter, very highly strung, hated other dogs and could be snappy around other people. We didn't take her out in public, it was too stressful for her and us. Not saying this is the right thing to do but it worked for us. She loved us to bits but it took me a long time to trust her. We did eventually in her last year make it possible for her to meet people in our home. Outside while she sees us interacting with them and give her time to calm down. Under our supervision visitors would give her favourite food, roast chicken. We got to know when she was calm enough to accept this and like all dogs she still wanted to be with people.

It really is hard to live with a dog like that but I loved her to bits all the same. You still have to think of others safety though, a fearful dog is unpredictable. Miki was never allowed around children no matter the circumstances she had a strange fear of them as well.

There are alot of very experienced people on this forum with all sorts of dogs. I was protective of Miki and still am even though she has gone now. But I do accept that not everyone felt the same way about her but they didn't get the opportunity to know her like I do.
 
#81 ·
it takes ALOT of hard work and conditioning with FA dogs. some people just don't have the time to work with them and are fearful themselves of someone getting bitten. the key is to learn the dogs threshold and slowly carefully work with it. thankfully through some great group training and proper exposure i can read Sam and control things so he is at ease. not saying he is 100% most FA dogs can not be 100% especially if its a genetic trait. but, i am proud and happy that with work and determination Sam has come further than i ever thought. somehow, i think they pick up on owners being fearful of situations and it makes them more nervous. they are all individuals and have different triggers, takes a good trainer to observe the owner and dog and alot of hard work which is followed through for the lifetime of the dog.
 
#82 ·
I agree totally Debbie

I went from a dream girl to one who was not quite as she should be. I didn't expect it and I was not up to the task. Home training wih a professional helped heaps but if I had known more at the start she might have been very different. And could have been so very different with someone more experienced.

She has gone over the rainbow bridge now and I still miss and love her. The only thing that helps is that if she had gone to another owner they might not have had the patience and she would have ended up being just tossed away.

My current puppy is so different initially but she is also benifitting from everything I learned from the last.
 
#83 ·
i don't think most general people are equipt to take on an FA dog. its a learning experience and something that can be very frustrating and time consuming. there just aren't alot of homes that would be willing to do what it takes to get them to a better place. the biggest part is finding a good experienced trainer that has total insight on whats going on, and up to the owner to follow through with the conditioning and taking all the advice and rolling with it. none of us seek out a pup like this, they are out there, and thank god there are people who want to keep them, love them, and do whats best for them with proper training and work, work, work.
 
#84 ·
Even with the professional it didn't all work for us.

We did the home and work stuff then the trainer recommended a group thing. Total disaster ofr all of us. Miki barked for an hour staight she was so stressed about the other dogs.

Home she was OK out a nightmare.

We didn't start the training till she was about 7 months old though and that was the biggest problem. Far too late.
 
#85 ·
My girl is very insecure with strangers. I manage her carefully when out in public.

That starts with using the right tools for our situation. For Nadia, I use the Halti head collar, (and a back up collar) so that I have total control of what her mouth does. She is a nipper. Then out on a walk through town, I am hyper aware of our surroundings; what side people walk on, people approaching from behind, other dogs off leash and all of the endless unexpected possibilities. People walking out of shops. Bicycles, skate boards, Kids!

Because she is a nipper in many situations, I am very careful. She is, in a sense, a liability. It is my responsibility to protect her and the public at the same time. I do not see her as hard to manage. Her OB is sweet and she is a love. I just take every precaution to prevent troublesome issues.
 
#86 ·
Really good book about a GSD who was raised from a small pup who had fear issues. The book is Dont Give up on that Dog. I read it on vacation and am reading Calming Signals right now. The first book was great for strategies and ways to introduce new situations and with calming signals its a great way to help me know when my dog is becoming anxious.
 
#87 ·
I have a problem that seems to be getting worse lately. We have two German Shepherds both three years old. Bear is the male and Sasha is. The female. I have absolutely no issues with Sasha. She is a loving dog and a pleasure to be around, very affectionate. Bear has recently become aggressive to family members, namely my 28 year old stepson who lives with us, as well as people who have been in the house a number of times. He doesn't mind them coming in the house but for no reason if they are moving he will start barking, has jumped and nipped family members. I am at a total loss!! He has never done this before. He is not provoked in any way! Imam fearful because we have small grandchildren, but he has never bothered them at all! I am at my wits end! Can someone help?
 
#88 ·
I think the first thing to do is have a vet give Bear a check up to rule out any physical reasons for the behavior change.

Have you had Bear since he was a pup and is this behavior a sudden change?Has there been changes in his living situations?

Is there a pattern to Bears barking and nipping; something in the way people behave around him that seems to cause it.
Sorry for having more questions than answers.

Benny has had these type of reactions in certain situations, ( mostly with men) since he was pup and it is just part of his temperament, but with training and the maturity that came now that he is three he has gotten better.

If a vet rules out physical causes, maybe a good trainer/ behaviorist can help.
 
#89 ·
Apology in advance -- normally I read every single post before responding, but I'm tired and lazy tonight so have not.

To answer to the original question without knowing 98% of the responses...

I weigh things. Bailey just does not like some people, especially those who reach over his head. Since that is what the vast majority of youngish kids tend to do, (try to pat atop the head,) I just cut to the chase and tell them my dog bites. My dog has never bit anyone but that's beside the point. I don't want him to have any kind of bite record, so I tell them that.

Adults and older kids are fine because they listen. If they don't try to reach over him or get too "in-his-face" right off the bat, he is fine. He just doesn't like to be overwhelmed by strangers too much too fast.

So, basically, if I have any doubts, I just tell people that he bites.
 
#91 ·
We've only had our Trooper a week but already i can tell he is very aloof with strangers,he gets a lot of attention ,as where we live in PA you dont really see GSDs in the
Petsmart or walking in the getgo parking lot..mostly the ones you see are working K9s. I know by just watching his body he is not fond of people just coming up to grab and pet him ( i wouldnt either) .So far we haven't had that problem since he is already so big (68 lb) most people ask. We have a yellow ribbon on his leash in public which usually instigates people to ask why.." because hes in training" which isnt a lie ;they usually understand this ,just tell me he is pretty and move on. He isnt used to small children so if they ask to pet him i tell their parents no they may not and politely walk away..i dont want to push him to fast with kids as they can be much more obtrusive than 'some' adults. Those adults who do ask to pet him ..some that is; I tell them " let him sniff you first,and please dont go straight for his head" he may sniff them once but only three strangers has he let pet him.One was a very nice police officer .Iv also noticed when asking him to "sitz" ( we decided on tradition with training him) when in public people tend to steer away...i guess a dog whos being trained in german is incentive not to run up and pet him. I want him aloof to strangers but not scared or aggressive to them. Just my two cents :) .


Sent from Troopers Human
 
#92 ·
true that weak nerved dogs are the ones who have issues with strangers and things in public. this is why focus and training are so important. you need to be on the ball with the surroundings. gaining your dogs trust and redirecting things through fucus etc help. with Sam, i usually will make the decision to approach people taking the lead. then he knows i am in control of the situation. when i get to someone i will make him sit and have a conversation with them in a happy calm voice. i do tell them he doesn't like to be petted by strangers, but if he wants to smell them i let him, but just because a dog wants to smell someone doesn't mean they want to be petted. although it is good that they are curious to smell and it means they are not in fearful mode.
 
#93 ·
My male is gigantic so very few people want to pet him unless they know him well. He goes off leash everywhere and people are very intimidated by him. He's an aloof dog who's never acted aggressive in a public social situation but I still ask anyone who wants to pet him to pet his back not his head.
 
#94 ·
How does he react if some stranger does try to pet him on top of his head?

Reason i ask is that my male GSD reacts differently to different people - most he doesn't mind at all and doesn't even seem to notice it as he is being friendly.

With a few people he will move his head so as to keep his nose near their hand - not aggressivelly or shying away as his body doesn't move. He just throws his head back as if to keep an eye on their hand.
 
#95 ·
I actively approach people on the street to pet my 6 month old GSD. I want him to be balanced and socialized with both dogs and people. I completely understand if someone has a dog that has fear issues with new situations/people/dogs, but as I have read on previous posts - if you have a mentally healthy, well balanced dog, why wouldn't you want them to meet and greet and have all kinds of different experiences? I believe this helps to create a well adjusted individual. A well balanced (non-fearful) dog is a happy dog and that's all I want for my dog. So, yes - I will go out of my way to interact with various people, dogs and situations and I think this is helping my boy to reach his great potential (which is the moon). :D
 
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