I have discovered that my new car has provided a endless source of entertainment at work. To Whit: Juan Diaz. Now Juan is a very nice, very soft spoken guy. When he first started working here he drove an old pickup that he adored. I don't know if the PU died or if he and his wife decided to downsize when she got pregnant but the beloved PU vanished. The end result being that he started driving in her vw bug.....a vw bug his wife had painted pink. Not any pink mind you.... PINK. The car looked like some poor soul had puked bepto bismol on it. Repeatedly. And Juan hated that car. He never came right and said he hated it, and he never actually drove it off a cliff, but plainly, he wasn't happy.
So has joyful day arrives when Baby is old enough to go to daycare, mum goes back to work and they can get a new car. Juan Drives in 'THE CAR" A solid black dodge challenger....a modern muscle car. He adores this car; he loves this car. The tires are always shiny; the exterior is always sparking. There have been romance books written about less passionate men love. Juan parks it on the far side of the parking lot away from all the lesser cars so he won't get dings, and several times a day I see him rush out to wipe off a bird dropping or a bit of dust.
Now I have a new car, too and I don't want it dinged by lesser co-workers with non-new cars anymore than Juan wants his car damaged, so I'd been arriving early enough to park it on the far side, next to a wall beside Zondra, who always parks way over to the opposite side of the parking slot. Then my burst of early morning energy departs and I arrive just in time to lose my usual parking spot, so I look around until I see Juan's car flexing it's muscles in the second slot from the last, where no one else ever parks. I'm no dummy. I park in the slot next to him between his challenger and the light post. I'm utterly safe. Even if Juan hated my guts I'm safe since he's not about to risk dinging his car by hitting my car with his door. That was Thursday.
Today I pull into the lot and see Juan in his usual space....except he has pulled slightly over the white painted line. Now if there is one thing a passive aggressive recognizes, it's a hint from another passive aggressive. Naturally, I couldn't resist. I parked next to him. Juan walks past me about an hour later and I can just SEE him grinding his teeth. I went out at lunch.....and he's moved his car. Not just a slot over, he's moved it all the way across the frickin' parking lot and is parked diagonally over 2 parking spaces. I considered following him but decided that would be just mean.
Now the thing I can't figure out is if Juan is:
A-that paranoid that I'll hit his car with my car
B- miffed because my car is in HIS car's personal space or
C- is just afraid the Juke will give his big bad muscle car girly cooties.
Maybe I'll park next to him again after all....just to find out.