oh bill, well...first let me say i'm so sorry all this is happening.
then i need to say the following. first clue was when the vet who neutered him asked if you knew he was aggressive. this should have alerted you to the fact that if you still wanted to adopt him, he would require ALOT of management of his environment. then you had several more warnings that you could not trust him and you still didn't manage his environment well enough and he harmed your wife's dog. one thing you really must do from this instant on is COMPLETELY manage his environment. i have a boy who requires that, and it's not easy. you sort of do have a situation where it might be possible for you (no kids, in particular), to keep him. it is clear tho, from your description of events, that the bottom line is that you will never be able to completely trust him and he will require a lifetime of managing his environment (never letting him in a situation where he could get himself into trouble with his aggression). that means no playing with other dogs, protect the bird from him, no exposing him to other people without a muzzle on. i know you already know where you made some mistakes, but regardless...dogs like this guy are very hard to manage, it sounds like he's had a really hard time of it. perhaps in time (lots of time), things will get better and that's surely worth a try since you do have a situation condusive to giving it a bit more time, and he is already attached and bonding to you. but ultimately, i think you have to be ready to make the decision nobody wants to make, if that becomes necessary (because, for instance, you find you are not willing to take on the responsibility of completely managing his environment for his entire life), but now that you have brought him into your life, it's not fair to him to either return him to the shelter, where he will surely not meet a good end, and alone at that...or to rehome him somewhere else where he will not meet a good end. of course, it goes without saying that you could involve a behaviorist and/or a good, positive motivation trainer. you've exposed him to a little bit too much too soon, he's shown you what he's capable of, you just MUST manage that environment COMPLETELY. it can be done, but it requires a certain kind of lifestyle (some would say a certain kind of no-lifestyle, lol), and a huge commitment and love for the dog. if you find that you cannot commit to that, please be there for him when it's time for him to go. i say all this with the utmost respect for what you've done for this boy and alot of sadness for what he's already endured in his lifetime. whatever you decide, i wish you strength. take care.
mom to seraphina blue & the cashman
miss jeni-take-a-ride, rescued 7/07
shangri la's great white caesar, rescued 4/09
hearthside's cinderfella (RIP 4/20/09)
shep von bellefontaine (RIP 6/9/10)
voodoo lily (dsh) & cricket (african grey~RIP 7/13)
Last edited by katieliz; 08-16-2014 at 11:12 PM.