I had to say goodbye to my best friend last night. I walked through the front door today and expected her to greet me and she's not there. My house is lonely, and the fur I've come to find as an annoyance is going to be all that's left of my baby girl.
She was with me through many phases of my life, from the start when I was a punk kid with a bad attitude, to the man I am today. I turned 28 yesterday. Sasha was the first dog I had that was my own, wasn't a parent's dog that we shared but raised solely and completely by me, and while I've lost pets before this is just so damned painful. I can't focus at work, and it feels like I'm walking around with a giant hole in my chest.
She was so healthy and full of life, everybody thought she was still a puppy and she was eight years old. Then in the blink of an eye she's taken away from me. The vet said that she had a tumor on her spleen that had burst and she was bleeding internally so even if I paid for the surgery (which I would have in a heartbeat had it meant a healthy life) she'd only live a few months longer due to the spread and it's likely she'd be in pain for the rest of the time so I had to put her down.
I just wish I'd had a little more time. I wanted to take her to the beach so she could run and play on a real beach, not the man made park we have here in Arizona.
I'm rambling here, but I don't know. Maybe I just have to get this off my chest. She made me a better person in every way possible, and I'm going to miss her so much.
:rip:so very sorry ...... unfortunately, many of us have had the same experience...losing one to hemangiosarcoma...so very very sad to lose one so young to it though...
Letting her go was the ultimate expression of your love and devotion....to take on the pain of loss to spare her any more pain.....so very very few last very long after surgery for this....so personally, I totally agree with your choice not to put her through the pain of the surgery and recovery for a few days or weeks more of uncertainty...
I'm so sorry for your loss and I know there aren't enough words in the world to take away that ache in your heart. You were good to pick not making her suffer any longer. Eventually you will have that hurt tucked away in a forever spot in your heart where your love for her will never stop. One day at the end of the Rainbow Bridge you will meet again. Until then remember and cherish the memories.
I'm so sorry, our previous dog had something similar happen at 8 yrs old too.
Your home must be so terribly quiet right now, and I'm sad you have to go through this painful time.
I'm sorry for your loss...you've been MIA on this board, I wish you had returned with happier news. She was involved in the most important growing period of your life. You were blessed to have her loyally by your side. Sorry that your birthday is marked with her leaving you with only memories, not fair at all
Run Free Sasha-Bear
:halogsd:
I had a bunch of growing up to do, had to rethink my life and where I was going. I'm all settled now, so I should be lurking some more. Now I just have to break the news to my dad. I don't think I can cry anymore it's been practically nonstop for 12 hours now and I'm running on about two hours of sleep.
To think if i ever have to go through this with mine almost make me want to cry...must be really tough for you
I hope you feel better soon. I think she is in a good hand now. No more tumor no more pain.
Sorry to hear your loss of your beautiful Sasha. I know the feeling of a
sudden quiet empty house because the loss of a companion. We are better people for having shared our life's with these wonderful animals. I'm sure Sasha loved the wonderful life she had and you will remember her forever. RIP sweet Sasha Bear.
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