Goodbye Sasha Bear
I had to say goodbye to my best friend last night. I walked through the front door today and expected her to greet me and she's not there. My house is lonely, and the fur I've come to find as an annoyance is going to be all that's left of my baby girl.
She was with me through many phases of my life, from the start when I was a punk kid with a bad attitude, to the man I am today. I turned 28 yesterday. Sasha was the first dog I had that was my own, wasn't a parent's dog that we shared but raised solely and completely by me, and while I've lost pets before this is just so damned painful. I can't focus at work, and it feels like I'm walking around with a giant hole in my chest.
She was so healthy and full of life, everybody thought she was still a puppy and she was eight years old. Then in the blink of an eye she's taken away from me. The vet said that she had a tumor on her spleen that had burst and she was bleeding internally so even if I paid for the surgery (which I would have in a heartbeat had it meant a healthy life) she'd only live a few months longer due to the spread and it's likely she'd be in pain for the rest of the time so I had to put her down.
I just wish I'd had a little more time. I wanted to take her to the beach so she could run and play on a real beach, not the man made park we have here in Arizona.
I'm rambling here, but I don't know. Maybe I just have to get this off my chest. She made me a better person in every way possible, and I'm going to miss her so much.
"Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in."
Sasha 6/6/2006 - 7/1/2014