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post #1 of (permalink) Old 05-11-2014, 06:41 PM Thread Starter
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Allie, the most annoying dog in the world.

I have a female GSD named Allie. She is small framed, big eared and in possession of a truly powerful canine mind. Intuitive and outgoing with a sparkling friendly nature, she is a joy to behold. She snuggles as though medals were being given out for the most snuggly of the snugglers. She does not bark much and isn't mouthy at all unless I provoke a wrestling match. In short she is an ideal companion.

Then I leave home. Her keen mind loses focus on her human and lasers in on creative ways to destroy my house. De-laminated doors, extension cords, cutlery, shoes, anything leather...etc. She has discovered that her massively overpowered rear legs can propel her to the top of the refrigerator. The kitchen counter has paw prints all over it. Toilet back cover is shattered. Wall phone is in many hundreds of pieces in the backyard. Two tablets(iPad and Nook) have fallen to the maw that is her mouth.

Some might say separation anxiety, but I say it's just a bored dog. My work shift is 12 hours, so there is plenty of time for her to get bored. I cannot crate her as 12 hours is just too long. I had similar issues with Banjo, once his puppy brain morphed into adult brain his chewing ways subsided(excpet socks and underwear, he loved to chew those up his whole life).

I'm currently re-inventing my housing structure. Essentially I rented a U-Haul trailer and tossing anything in it that I don't absolutely have to have. Spartan would be a good descriptor of what I envision as the final product. Wooden furniture, no more leather, no cords exposed and a total surfeit of knick-knacks. Easier to clean as well I imagine. My living room is now just the dog's couch, two dog beds and my computer table. I don't have cable or watch TV so the 55" went into the guest room. Now my home theater room is now a glorified listening room(speakers are suspended from the ceiling, so no cords laying about). I figure giving her no options for malevolent chewing will end her ways. The things we do for the dogs eh?

Never cook bacon while naked.
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