I Need Some Help With This
I hate to keep bothering you guys about bullying or possible bullying not happening, so if you're tired of these threads, just move on to the next thread or your merry way.
I said I would not post another thread like this without evidence or witnesses, so first, let's start off with evidence.
1. There was a guy coming to my house and riding around near my house. He would cuss me out from his car if I came outside. I told my doctor about it, my doctor said, "No, that is not a hallucination" and made the call. This guy admitted to the police what he was doing and was taken to jail.
2. I was walking into a building with my mother in her car and a girl treated me really badly. I came out the building and got in the car, and my mother said, "I saw that, I saw everything." We talked about it on the way home and my mother said that those type of people turn around and treat you so badly, yet expect you to "speak" to them when you see them.
3. Everyday, a guy would hit me in the back of my head with his fist. A hispanic girl saw this and told me she saw it. She just would never go to the police, she did not want to be labeled a snitch by her peers.
4. Finally, some girls walked by pointing at me and laughing at me and she yelled out, "You're nothing!" A black girl came up to me and asked, "Why do they talk about you so badly?" I told her I didn't know. She went on her merry way with her friends and I did not get a chance to ask her if she could help me go to the police as a witness.
So, there's evidence or at least people who claimed to have saw these things happen to me.
Currently, people treat me like a dog. They CONSTANTLY talk about me. They say my name, "[insert name] is pitiful" when they talk about me. They also point at me, "Who are you talking about?" "That girl right there." They talk loudly and they talk so I can hear it.
This is constant. Whenever I go into a grocery store, anywhere, and even on a college campus. Yesterday at my mother's graduation, I had a guy making fun of the way I yawn and stretch sometimes and then he pointed at me and said, "That b word, that b word is stupid". People pointed at me and said my name and talked about me all day yesterday. They say the same things, that I wear the same clothes every week and every day, that I have no sense are am the stupid girl, and etc. Over and over again.
I do have a mental illness, I am schizophrenic. However, the thing is, it's been years since I've had an audio hallucination. I was hearing things back in high school and then it went away for at least 5 years. The lastest incident had me seeing "giant lizards" and grandiose illusions, but the psychiatrist put me on these really strong meds and everything stopped.
Here's the thing, over the course of the 5 years, these bullying has continued. I've had other witnesses too, like the little boy who tried to fight me in the library and the old man beside me said something about the incident.
I don't know what to do anymore. I talk to people, but unless I have a witness, they assume it didn't happen. This stuff IS happening to me! The few college students I talked to said it's real, because the college campus I attend is a party campus and the people there are really cruel, especially if you're not a party girl.
Last but not least, my parents came over yesterday. They did not hear anything and neither did I. It's just like I said, when they hear I have company, it stops. They do not want to get caught.
Sometimes, it really gets to me. Lately, I've wanted to die so badly. I'm not sure if I'm suicidal or not, because I haven't attempted anything in over 10 years. I don't want to commit suicide, but I just want some relief.
I'm trying to get stronger, because a guy said no matter what or how often people say these things about you, it shouldn't bother you because you know who you are. I'm trying to build up but it's hard when people also say this is inhumane and no one should have to go through this.