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Help...inconsistent training methods between spouses.

2K views 17 replies 10 participants last post by  Chip18 
#1 ·
Hi all!

My husband and I recently adopted a 18 month old male GSD from the pound. The only thing we knew about him is that he was kept in the yard tied up. He escaped several times and ended up at the pound. His owners never claimed him the least time. I implemented the 2 week shutdown to get him acclimated. We have had him about 2 months. He is kennel trained, potty trained and is currently working on basic commands/NILIF. He had a great temperment, attitude, and is generally a happy dog. We occasionally get "sassed" by him if we tell him to leave the room when we are eating. I have been doing everything for this dog: walking, daily exercising, feeding, grooming, etc. I am very consistent. The dog initially would listen to me very well. Then in an effort to be more involved he began feeding the dog in the AM and"working" with him very sporadically 1 or 2 times a week. The dog began listening to him better than me. This is quite frustrating as my view is if he is going to work with the dog it should be daily on a schedule not hit or miss. He also rough houses/plays with the dog more enthusiastically than I do. Boris loves it. My husband will also initiate play by grabbing for his snout. This is a little unnerving as I don't want to encourage biting. My hubby had also started using the word "out" to get the dog to drop the tug rope when we have historically been using "out" to leave a room and "drop it" to cue the dog to release an item. My questions are:

Who should or how should we go about training?

Does the dog see me as boring?

Should I be concerned about my hubby imitating play biting?

Will my hubby confuse the dog by suddenly changing the meanings if commands?

Thanks again!!

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#3 ·
Everyone should use the same commands.

As for the play, that is what guys like to do. We have 3 members in our family and our dog plays and interacts differently to each of us. Yes my husband is rougher with our dog, but she enjoys this. My daughter is more playful like a littermate and does more fun things, and I am the consistent one like you. I think its fine that you both have different roles, but the commands and hand signals should be the same.

You may want to experiment in using different tones in your voice, a male voice is often more commanding. Be confident with yourself and your commands, it may take a little time. See if you can find some obedience training classes where the instructor is open to both of you training on the field. Someone objective like a trainer can point out things that may be hindering the dog's responsiveness to you.
 
#4 ·
Who should or how should we go about training?
You both should be training the dog and you need to have a talk with your husband about being consistant and using the same methods you are using so that you don't confuse the dog.

Does the dog see me as boring?
Do you play with the dog or do you just train him? If your husband is doing the majority of playing with him then he might find your husband to be slightly more fun.

Should I be concerned about my hubby imitating play biting?
It depends, does your dog know the word "no" or do you have a word that stops him from biting? I constantly wrestle with my Dalmatian puppy, we get quite rough and he will mouth me when we wrestle but once I tell him "no" the game is over. He has never mouthed anyone or attempted to bite anyone when we are not wrestling. My ex also wrestled with my GSD when he was younger and he never mouthed anyone or bit anyone, in fact he wouldn't even play bite me, he will only bite my ex. As long as your dog understands that he can play like that with your husband but he cannot play like that with others than it should be fine.

Will my hubby confuse the dog by suddenly changing the meanings if commands?
That is a big possibility, I would tell your husband that it is important that you two get on the same page training wise and use the same methods.
 
#5 ·
Thanks for the input. I agree that we should be on the same page. He just started implementing these commands and I feel as if I was blind sided. When I asked him about it ( the "out" command) he told me that boris was smart enough to know that when "out" is said indoors it would mean leave leave room and "out" said outside would mean drop whatever is in your mouth. I just shook my head and walked away. Another example is when we were at pets mart for basic obedience. The trainer instructed everyone to use the "watch me" command. I have never used that nor has my hubby; I have used "look at me" based on advice from a guy who trains police dogs for a living that my hubby met with! I have honestly never observed my hubby using that command at all and I know we have been in the same room when I say look at me. He knows what command to use but at petsmart he had Boris sit and said " watch me"...... of course the dog didn't have a clue what was being asked and I was fuming cause my hubby does stuff like this all the time. This is a special dog and I don't want my hubby to confuse him.

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#7 ·
Thanks for the input. I agree that we should be on the same page. He just started implementing these commands and I feel as if I was blind sided. When I asked him about it ( the "out" command) he told me that boris was smart enough to know that when "out" is said indoors it would mean leave leave room and "out" said outside would mean drop whatever is in your mouth. I just shook my head and walked away. Another example is when we were at pets mart for basic obedience. The trainer instructed everyone to use the "watch me" command. I have never used that nor has my hubby; I have used "look at me" based on advice from a guy who trains police dogs for a living that my hubby met with! I have honestly never observed my hubby using that command at all and I know we have been in the same room when I say look at me. He knows what command to use but at petsmart he had Boris sit and said " watch me"...... of course the dog didn't have a clue what was being asked and I was fuming cause my hubby does stuff like this all the time. This is a special dog and I don't want my hubby to confuse him.

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Most people will tell you that you shouldn't use any kind of a command for the dog to look at you. This is all combined with a "foos" or a "heel." When you tell your dog to heel, it should not just stay in position, but also look up at you. If you want eye contact, the name should suffice.

The command you use doesn't matter. At the end of the day, "look at me" is WAY too long of a command so the "police dog trainer" gave you questionable advice anyways.

You need to figure out what your goals are with this dog. Most of us here use the same commands because we're in sport and its just tradition to use certain commands. But if you want to change them up, its up to you.

I prefer an "out" for the toy thing because when other people are going to interact with your dog, they're more than likely going to say "out" to get a toy out of their mouth (just more natural). These are the types of things you need to think about when choosing commands...

It's like teaching your dog to "come" by using a different command than a "here" or a "come." What's the point? If you dog ever gets out, and other people are helping you try to find him, they're more than likely going to be yelling "come!" But if you taught your dog a different word just because that's what you wanted, the dog will have no idea what that word means.
 
#6 ·
Your dog will eventually figure it out, but it's unfortunate that you're not both using the same words for the same commands - since you've only had him for a few months, it's going to make things harder for him. But best of luck with your DH...it sure didn't work here, lol. Off/Down, Quiet/Enough, on and on. It was frustrating! The rough play is fine, IME. I play rough with my dogs but they never mistake that private play with general good times with others.
 
#9 ·
the words thing can be fixed. I think the dog gets the idea that out from a toy means a different thing when you point and say "get out". Even if you add get they can probably tell. Aus vs out if you want.
Also dogs can understand two different command words for one action so as long as you spend time with each word 'look at me' and 'watch me', you'll eventually get the same result. My dog knows "fuss" (I can't make that german letter on this comp) and "with me" for heel. One's casual, one I want her focusing.

""and"working" with him very sporadically 1 or 2 times a week""
I personally agree that training should be more sporadic and random vs on a set schedule. if you train every day at 1 o clock it's a boring routine. If your dog never knows when to expect training it becomes more fun.

as far as roughhousing and play biting, I play with my dog rough. She loves to lay on her back and kick and nip at me and she doesn't try that game with other people. If your dog overgeneralizes you just teach a gentle command. When mine gets too rough I just say "HEY" in a sharp voice and end the game for a minute or two and she calms down. Sometimes if I can tell she's playful I'll just walk up and shove her lightly and it's game on lol. As long as you teach rules and when it stops.
 
#11 ·
There isnt a book of ""proper commands"" in my opinion. i could teach my dog to sit every time I said the word potato. you guys just need to communicate with eachother and get on the same page. Maybe sit down and write out the commands that you guys want to use and tape it to the fridge. :)
 
#14 ·
I have somewhat the same situation at times but more focused on the expectations of command, control and execution. I have much higher expectations of my dog's performance than my wife's expectations...which has made me wonder if my efforts are being somewhat diluted by my wife's more forgiving expectations of the dog's performance. The thread is located here http://www.germanshepherds.com/foru...hods/430977-command-control-expectations.html

Much of the advice given by others was beneficial especially regarding your question " Will my hubby confuse the dog by suddenly changing the meanings if commands?".

I have also found that my use of hand signals tempers the problem you might be experiencing regarding two different verbal commands for the same action i.e. "drop" and "out". I strive to train the dog primarily with hand signals versus verbal commands once the dog has associated the two...so others can say whatever they choose and it does not dilute my hand signals even if it is for the same desired result. I would think it should be very easy for the two of you to sync up on the exact same hand signals regardless of whatever verbal command accompanies the hand signal if any at all.

Dogs are smart and obviously many breeds including a GSD are very smart. With that in mind, your dog will soon learn ( if not already ) who means what they say. My wife "hopes" the dog will comply to her request while our dog knows I mean what I say because I don't "hope"...I expect, plain and simple. Our dog's understanding of the differences between the two of us is simply that...we are two different humans with different expectations...and the dog absolutely knows this. Yes, I appreciate the frustrations which can be created by two individuals who are not on the exact same page when it comes to training the same dog but it is not something that is a deal breaker as far as the dog's education goes....but of course I would prefer, all those involved in a dog's training to be on the same wavelength.

"Should I be concerned about my hubby imitating play biting?"....I'm guilty of the same charge. When I choose to let the dog blow some steam off at times I have no compunctions whatsoever if we romp and she uses her jaws in a playful manner. However, when she used to get a bit more "playful" than my idea of fun...I would simply disengage the exchange. Let's face it, the set of tools a GSD has is much more formidable than some of us give them credit for....so I think the exercise all on it's own has value as the play biting can be taught to only reach a certain level which in turn creates a bite inhibition which is acceptable for playtime. My pooch like our others in the past, has figured out it prolongs roughhousing if she gingerly grabs hold of a loose sleeve or pant leg than using a tad bit too much bite pressure on a forearm...needless to say, a few of my sweatshirts have really long arms on them from her fun time. Granted, this type of interaction of roughhousing is my choice and most likely not the choice for all. However, when I am on the ground letting her have the upper hand ( in a toned down fashion ) and she has my sweatshirt sleeve in her jaws tugging away.....I do wonder what the neighbors might be thinking...ahhh but who cares.

Oh, by the way....my pooch is 18 months as well and it seems like a magical time as she is truly coming on line and now has such a focus on learning....it's truly amazing how quickly they learn at this age.

SuperG
 
#15 · (Edited)
LOL!! Getting the list of commands reminds me...When I started basic training with hubs little Aussie I asked him what commands would you like to use. He told me. I used the commands he wanted for his dog. What happens ...I catch him outside playing with her using different commands at different times throughout their playtime. Oh well. In this case it's his dog, she's great and he's not going to compete with her in OB or anything of that nature. She minds me very well so it all works out.

With my two GSDs he doesn't "train" them. He just helps take care of them using what ever commands he wants. They know the routine so usually commands aren't needed and I don't care because I train with German commands and I didn't even try to get hubs on board with it. So he can futz around with them in the backyard and say whatever he wants but he doesn't affect my training because he doesn't use my commands which I've worked on and reinforced.

So.....if you can't get consistently on the same page my suggestion is to just pare it down to the important safety things like recall, keep gates closed, no door dashing that you two will be consistent on. Then you take the reins on the training, use commands in another language (doesn't matter which) so your commands are clear and consistent. Then just kick back and and let him have his relationship with the dog. More often then not, training the other human is just an exercise in frustration.

It can actually be amusing at times. ;)
 
#16 ·
I have high expectations too. My hubby let's the dog get away with more than I ever would. Some of his training methods are questionable. For instance when he first took Boris for a walk ( more like Boris took him for a drag) his way of getting the dog to heel was to let him get all the way out to the end of the lead and then jerk on the lead like he was trying to get a kink out of a hose. It looked painful and ridiculas. My poor baby looked like a yoyo. Then I took him out with a bag of treats and went slow/fast lots of direction changes/sits and lots of rewards. He does pretty good now. SuperG did you alpha roll your wife? Lol. If I did that to my hubby I think he would think I was initiating something else. ....lol.

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#18 ·
http://www.germanshepherds.com/forum/general-behavior/431289-new-dog-very-challenging.html

In that thread "who pets my puppy or dog" same deal you sit the rules. Puppies are crazy but you can still expect a stay or sit. Shoot for it at any rate.

You have to set limits, if he "expects" to be greeted with gusto by "everyone" he sees that's going to be a problem also!

After I got Rocky's people issue fixed I've relaxed somewhat but still careful with kids. But I got rolled by a 12 yr old? I told him "NO" he asked why not?? I was stunned and did not really have an answer! I really couldn't say "he"s in training" any more.
So I let him pet Rocky and Rocky was fine. When I was concerned about him biting the crap out of people I had to "grow a pair" as it were.

Apparently now that "the people issues" is over my "pair" have kinda shrunk!:blush:

But back to your topic if you truly want to send this dog on his way, then the "dual training" has to stop! If the dog is going to be your pet fine, other wise your husband is sitting him up for failure.
 
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