I don't know any vet who will do an in heat spay. I went through the exact same thing; spay appointment was on a Monday and she went into heat 2 days before.
I'd recommend, if at all possible, to maybe put your male in a boarding kennel for the week your female is in standing heat. If there was anything I would have done differently, that's exactly what I would have done. The week she was in standing heat was miserable. My male wasn't really trying to get after my female, but he whined and cried the whole time along with just being cranky and angsty.
Oh, diapers and doggie wipes will be your best friends. My female just didn't keep herself clean enough, so the diapers kept the stains away and the wipes were to just give her a clean after a diaper change.
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