It's been three months, I've posted on FaceBook and I finally decided to come back here because I know you all understand; not that my friends on FB don't, I feel I'm a bumbling idiot.
On October 21st, 2013 early in the morning, I made the decision to let Kwai slip the earthly bond she had. She fell sick a week before and I hospitalized her very soon after.
I sat with her when the vet brought her blood work back, her kidney values were the worst I had seen in my limited experience as a Veterinarian Technician. I broke down crying then, I couldn't stay strong for Kwai, but she seemed to already know, and gave me a kiss and laid down with me.
Not knowing the cause yet, not having any speculative idea what it may be, I hospitalized her. She held on for roughly a week, going down hill Saturday. I was refused being allowed to visit her Sunday, and Monday she was in far worse condition than I could have imagined or wanted.
I decided to perform a necropsy and send her kidneys off to a college for testing.
Somehow, while I was at work, she was out with my grandparents and got into antifreeze from what I now know was my Uncle and Aunts leaking radiator.
I struggle with guilt from her condition by the time she was put to sleep, and anger.
I also struggle with the operations of the animal hospitals bill collection and holding her bed and pillow hostage until full payment is received.
I miss Kwai, she was my first dog that I was entirely responsible for. She and I had 7 years together. She was my heart dog, I won't find another like her.
Thanks for reading if you've got this far.... I'm rambling to myself trying to let it all out so I can sleep.
R.I.P. Quiescence 2004 - 10/21/2013